Judge — September 13, 1884 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. 3 The only man who knows Monographs. COMING THRO’ THE FOG, Wues as Comi uner meets at Which should turn out for the other?— Coming thro’ the fog. This questi Un Which is quite hard to wrestle, we read the log, rs from blame the lucky vessel That has come thro’ the fog! Poor collateral—taking a mother-in-law with a wife, The broker’s way of paying debts—rob- bing Peter to pay Paul. The cre n of a joke would be lost upon a milkman he wouldn’t know what it was. My hairless friend, worry not on account of the glistening pate; those who are richest in hair are sometimes poorest in brains. “T hate a man who uses toe-back-oh!” exclaimed young irate progenitor ki steps. icked him down the front Beware of the fan, Clarence. It has waft- ed more men to destruction than all the cy- clones that ever sailed ever the bounding West. And, my boy, in your peregrinations through this wicked world, never forget this one little truth—a fan is indispensable to a woman who can no longer blush. (UNITED STATES GD Podger, when his girl's | ' TAKING ON PILOT. An old lady from the country wanted to buy a pair of shears, and enquire y the best place to purch directed her to an and now the relatives of the old | looking for her—she has been mi weeks. of a pas. My boy, when you think of ms sure it is not passion but love ion is like aving wreck and rain in i my boy, love is the cup of . cool water held ‘to the thirsty w lips whenever the heat ar : its of life crowd thick and fast upon him; and it always cheers and sustains and strengthens, my boy, and is never with- drawn until the curtain of death is lifted, and the fair life beyond dawns upon us like the sun of a perfect day. nu are “only only by the grace of a And you want to know h “higher position” in lif you, John, and if we could The world hi strong, We can’t tell we wouldn't miths, honest arms, than it has of tinseled men of preposterous pretensions i-flown hypocrisi We want black- smiths to knock off with ng, fearless arms the fetters that bind society to snobbery and puppyism. You can attain no higher position than you now occupy, John; for you arean honest. man—and if that isn’t glory enough in this of sordid. cor tion, we should like to be informed what the channel. Stick to your forge, John, and as the anvil its clear tone in response to the your right arm, it will tell you the humblest t virtues, while in the ** higher positi covet they would be crowded to the wall to make way for the ignoble passions that attend the chase after wealth, and so-called * honor” ! Diocenes Easy went overt A philosopher he, always « yhe sat upon deck, Ls the ship was a wreck, And the waves of the occan washed over his knees, Unti Twas one darn nethin, urred that aroused him indeed, sea that extinguished his weed. Where he's stie T cannot quite say, For I know not the en shown this season is the * Pine * ent of whic “ars in our col- where. Every Blaine and Logan voter should have one. Barrel— Do they mi Dearest—** Oh, ever me, dearest?” o much.” Joun of Tammany, knowing that Samuel had abdicated dy come let us kill th heir, and the inher J Which scheme didn’t work give up the i