Judge — September 13, 1884 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

13. Now Blaine sat quietly with his wife and children, on whose name no spot lay, when a carrier rode at hot speed unto him, aying “M4. “Tam from thy friends in Indianap- ol Here have they sent thee the lie of Jobn, the Sho in the Sentinel that thou mayst defend the honor of thy noble wife.” 16, And as Blaine read the lie, his grew dark, and when he reached the end, he st it down, and said unto the courier: “Hark ye! Go back to thy friends in In- und say they have done well.” . ‘The courier rode and Blaine hied him unto the telegraph office, and sent this unto his friends Harrison and Holloway: “Here have I stood since the sixth day of the month of June, and have cared naught for the lies which my foes have spread con- cerning me 17. YetT Shoemaker sp my children. tho Is, John a himse not spoken. But John aketh against my wife and Go in, oh, Harrison, for all t worth.” Then Harrison sailed in bodily; and ppropriated a mighty tumble unto and sank into his boots And he was brought before the courts; and Blaine nquished d flattened him out. 1), ‘Thus spake the wiseacres thereupon: ‘or four and twenty years have the Dim- mekrats made mistakes; and the one they have made this year is in attacking the honor of a woman. So mote it be. 20. And so it wa The * Bull” of It. ‘Two little bulldogs met on Broadway, And alittle bear-cub heard them say h, how are you, dear Pup?” “Ah, how do you ec And then bot You could hi: uy da smile © seen a mile “Tm doing quite well,” said numbe oing down street to have som) “What street is that? aske “Fulton, Pearl, or s'm'other?” And then both You could have seen at a smile “Ain't Ta‘ Bull’ with the The ‘Bears’ confused, Wall strect, don’t you see? Tumblez-vous, 1 prithee? ” And then both grinned You could have points’ down fine, hekels all mine smile cen am ‘Tar besetting sin of the the period is—not lying ex geration, After all the much ado abi the size of the Democratic platform, it ha been found by actual survey not to be much larger in area than the State of New York. apher ctly, but ex: AN important dis the II upa que reuders, pvery lately torical Society of Chicago has cle: ion that used to puzzle serious Bible mely: what became of Noa carpenters after they had finished building the ark, It appears that they got through Noah’s job on a Saturday evening, and ext Monday morning fell to work on atic platform. It speaks. vol- umes for the untiring industry of these for- eign workmen, that they were able to com- plete so extensive a work in time for the campaign of '84, 4. p. What makes the feat seem to be more remarkable is the fact at the work was not in the least slighted, as the platform scems to contain all the antediluvian improvements, BETTER NEVER THAN TOO LATE. Epitor—“ My, boy, that earthquake is too ancient for treatment, The Judge. “No flies on us.” Paper like Wide awake, The event Take over'to “* Harper's.” and the idea is stale enough to please them to death.” Fortune's Heir. Tle drives a blooded team of bays. And isa spendthrift in his ways; | While ev'r “I one who knows him says: s wild Me flirts with actr Un For 1 into a suit “Breach of Promise, He's wited gradu-lee CLEVELAND believes he can carry New Yor! [Low will he undertake it? Likean undertaker, perha Let there be no more cakes and ale for | Republicans—nothing but stewed lotus and rose-water, This is the new commandment. Wnuy the big railroad companies will count for nothing in the present campaign.—Be- cause to carry New York will require some- thing more than a common carrier. Tue reliable unterrifiable old Dutch Dem- ocrat of Pennsylvania knows nothing about such young upstarts as Tilden and Hendricks. W he understands by the old ticket is Jackson and Jefferson—no less; and he means to sit fast anc Lin his old ances- | tral chair till that ticket comes round again— as come it will when knock-down and play politics shall return and send zm Teu- | Jel all these weak-stomached political lemon- aders with their civil service and th bottomed platforms and other hezere Helpful Hints. ALTHOUGH every well-regulated family is supposed to be provided with ubout 47 dif- ferent varieties of ‘* Bouks de Etiquet,” still a few extraneous remarks to masculines as to the proper au fait manner of caring for and attirig the person, may not be | deemed amiss. Hither we glide: On arising in the morning, a hot bath should be taken. Don’t take it to a very great distance from the house however, as the abstraction might be noticed. It is not imperative to * take” the bath though, if it is found to be nailed, or too hot to pick up. volean the teeth with an ordinary tooth- brush and some good reliable dentifrice. Pamice stone, rubber window cleaners, and scouring brick, are not in vogue for that purpose this season, ‘The finger-nails should never be a bone paper-cutter. What is t with e-knife? F les are sometimes removed from the manly countenance with Oil of Vitriol, by maidens with blighted affections. If no-one is jealons enough of you to help you out in that respect, don’t ‘practice on yourself with the fluid! Let the old poison-faced mug “ freck. The old-fashioned way of waxing the moustache with pomatum has become ob- solete. A mixture of tar and axle-grease is now the proper caper. Linen coats with two large perspiration ared with he matter