Judge — August 30, 1884 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Irving Hall Wedding. handed to us for publi y-laborer, We print it literatin, and we think it may fairly be arded as one of the straws which shows how the shoring breeze will blow next November.) may talk of t The death-bed marriag But the wedding by old Inth * Cornwall scandal,” nd all, Father Beecher,” St. Irving Hall.” ehurcl The groom is a crafty old codger, His name 1 all understand, And the Madam Thompson,” Who is * to Grover Cleveland ‘The groom he is gone up the river To review the 69th and them all, While the bride is eating her cake in the chamber, Below in the new City Hall Grover is going to run to the White House,” Let him run till bis horses he'll kill; T know he'll be last in the race sir, When be vetoed the car drivers’ b pill, Ob! What a nice wedding party thoseall seem to be With Manning, and Curti Jones of the time and Harpers’, and lo you see, Also Bennett that came from the highlands With his petticoat over his knee They for Of hin They know And he ot to have John Kell: they a ays compl in, y to the * White House,” t to Blaine. He will find it in the weekly Jopa And when he looks at the Sheritl Davidson was not at the wed Along with the rest of the “unfbbs, But had to show up.his accounts ‘To Senators Roosevelt and Gibbs pes to the “ White He Our rights with free trate be will bli workingmen look to your interest Vote for Le 1 the plume kn If Grover he And ke 1 do not vote for the 1 look to your interest nopoly down, Phat will have you a pauper in town, T wil! tell you what és going to happen If Grover he earrigs New York-— He will send you across the A And dump you in the city of Cork.” Wundle u Go home to the Shannon or Klyne, He is not fit for president, No more than Jimmy O'Brien, II you foreigners, Says Grover to Hubert: in the Whi will make a nice You look so sere Thaton the fifth of ) © House you hostess,” nil so meck, »vember Bennett will give us the Dauntless, And we can sail up Salt Creek: w that the wedding is over, And I wish the couple good luck, And all the bones and the crumbs of the table, Indced they may give them to Puck, ¥. Pon, Nor to be sneezed at—an empty snuff-box. A Deap-sure Tuna. That things po- litical are at the present time decidedly mixed, does not admit of adonbt; but one sure political prophesy can be made, which is that somebody will be inaugurated presi- dent of the United States on the fourth of March next. THE JUDGE. | | THE BOSTON PAR Groncie—* Why. | Missre | "ill he gets asleep, The old Hat's Complaint. Ay old Hat that had seen many seasons of | eful Labor come and go, but at last had on retired from active life to the s fa Peg in a dark closet, thus bew “low hard that I, who all my life have faithfully served my Master, should now in mine old age be thus ignominiously with- drawn from view. Instead of being the erown- ing Glory of my Master’s career, | am for- tten and allowed to moulder away in this | mp and dismal closet. ‘Truly Men are monsters of ingratitude! ” At this juncture,the door of the closet opened, and the Hat’s master thus addressed “Theard thy plaint, and to prove to thee that [am neither ungrateful or forgetful, I | will wear thee in the torch-light Procession to-night. Thou shall hear me yell for Clev land till thou imaginest thou art the cap- sheaf of a steam Fog-IHorn of ten miles] penetration, and afterwards, in the solemn | morning hours, when we wend our ¢ homeward way together, thou shalt sleep | with me and my Boots until the Goodwife finds us out and make a painful parting In old age it is better to rejoice in mem- ories of the righteous Past than, by crying aloud against fate, bring down the iniquitous Present npon us. | Honor est a Nilo—no more. G-l-a-d- 8-t-o-n-e don’t spell Horatio Nelson. Weat and woe.—The wheel stops when the who-a comes. PR TCOAUTION, Minnie, have you joined the female nine?” No, George, but papa says 1 must wear this as an osculation preventor What He Said and What He Meant. Uvon her urgent entreaty, our newly married friend, Mr. A. Bamboozler prom- ised his young wife that in the future he would eschew tobacco (minus the es), knock off on segurs, (7. e. the ashes on them), and stop his bottle (7. ¢. with a glass stopper instead of a cork) and reform his bad habits gencrally (i. ¢. replace his old garments with new) and she, poor unsuspecting little soul, thought it was so good of him. Seasonable Hints. Certainly. Use a term—acid fruits and acid drinks (N. 8. Use prussic acid only once. In handling hay use the fork—bad form to use either the spoon or the shovel. ids during the heat: in a should not be too freely used till it has time to cool off. For what was Eve prayin'? Pease, sir, to raise Cain, “Not right,” said the teache fat rule. Delmonico’s, has made a profound impres- sion on many young and tender minds. ‘The incident is to be worked up in a tract by the M. and used to fortify sciences of Wall street clerks temptation that docs most beset them. We suggest for a motto: ‘* The way of the trans- gressor is hard to beat.” the ‘con- against the COMIcHoo Eee st