Judge, 1884-08-02 · page 11 of 16
Judge — August 2, 1884 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from **Judge** magazine contains two connected satirical comic panels illustrating the humorous misadventures of an eccentric character during a house fire. **The Satire:** The title character is a man who remains absurdly composed during domestic crisis. In the left panel, he throws a pianoforte out a window while the house burns. In the right panel, he carries a feather bed down the stairs—prioritizing a trivial possession over urgent evacuation. **The Point:** The joke mocks impractical priorities and misplaced calm. Rather than saving valuables or people, this ridiculous figure preserves a mattress and discards a piano, demonstrating warped judgment masked by apparent composure. The accompanying text (a lengthy, digressive narrative about rural life and peculiar characters) reinforces the absurdist humor through verbose, flowery language describing mundane observations—typical of Judge's satirical style parodying overwrought Victorian prose. The cartoon lampoons both human folly during emergencies and pretentious literary affectation.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE JUDGE. THE MAN WHO NEVER “LOSES HIS HEAD." THROWS THE PIANOFORTE Their appetites proclaimed no indi- exigencies of life were evi wore no other were absolutely tion of primitive de Juhana, who had been spe to administer to my wants a ked in tones mell fog-horn, full of aduet pathos— er, didjer want ry for the preserva », didjer wanter egg this alleged joke ed with the inost ing to smile, tears bedimmed 1 my lips felt as if I had been el “Purty good, don’tjer reckon?” anxious to have me exp ation of his pan—**eh, isn’t it That ‘ere joke er mine, hey?” “What joke?” I “What joke! see,” I replied; “eggs-traor- I had no sooner committed this henious crime than I felt as mean and degraded as the captain of the Pinafore; and the roof was raised at least two inche: ble impetus of the storm ema by the irresisti- ating from a se “pap” rolled himself on the chic THE HOUSE AFIRE. THE WINDOW AND CARRIES THE FEATHER BED DOWN THE STAIRS, floor, the ran’mam ” threatened to! nip bush and an ancient stalk of Indian | into convulsive hysterics, while her) corn, My attention was now attracted to humerous satelitious progeny were writhing | the * luxuriant arbustum ”—ye gods! a sour | in a promiscuous conglomeration in acorner, | apple-tree struck by lightning careened in emitti uch uproarous screeches of raptur- | melancholy solitude ad the nitive and | ous mirth and hilarity that reminded me of | vivific eucalyptus globulus” was only con- | of a Democratic caucus in Kansas. Midst | epicuous b ence, ” all this deafening cachination I thought I But the **s g, translucent brook ” I suished the braying of a mule, but, on) should probably never have discovered it, in the direction from whence the | had I not that morning eut several trans- sounds emanated, I beheld *gran’pap” | verse slits into my foot-gear of the ** tooth- swaying to and fro and most industriously | pick’ order, to éase a rebellious corn situ- producing those asinine tones. | ated on the nor‘nor’east corner of my dex- Had I been guilty of so a tral pedal extremity. was fortunately outrageous a pun in New York T should | lucky. Becoming conscious of a mysterious, surcly have been proclaimed a bore, but out | Spontancous irrigation in that interesting {here in the deestrics” 1 was immediately | region of my tomy, I carefully scrutin- transformed into a lion! ~ | ized the soil and discovered the * brook; L treated the egg with all the retinement | it astonished me, for it had a decided | possible, which was a decided innovation at | tobacco-juice hue and and an odorifer that bonrd, for one and all watched mo in| ness ammonical and slightly emphreumati- mute astonishment, ‘The “pap” tried to| cal. — I failed to discover the source of this follow my example, but failed most igno-| wonderful stream, but filled a small vial || miniously when he endeavored to scoop the | with the fluid; the chemist who made a || egg from the eup with the blade of his | careful analysis of it in hopes of finding some Knife! I expected him to cut his throat on | valuable and until now unknown chemical several occasions, but fortunately we were | or remedial properties, do that ammonia saved from witnessing that sanguinary per- | predominated, and expressed his opinion formance. that as tilizer it was par excellence. I left the table, and, stepping from the | While searchi the soure porch, I found myself on the “lawn of ex- | terious “piscatorial appurter quisite viridity.” On inspection I found its| torial nature being represented b: constituents to consist of a tangled labyrinth | tadpoles—I of smartweed, fire-plant, radish, dog- | cilities for the stabal a fennel, dandelion, skunk-cabbage, and | nine solipods;” this grand monument of “hogs’-ears;” the latter produced the “ex- | modern architecture was constructed with quisite viridity.” StroMing towards the four posts, surmounted by a mildewed straw majestic arboretum,” I found that to con- | roof, perforated as liberally as a porous sist of twocrooked sun-flower stalks, acat-! p aster. comicbooks.conr