Judge — June 21, 1884 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. A Great Sell. No, said the fond mother, I am thankful Spelling Reform. — indeed that my son never drinks anything — Stranoer—Can I see Mr. Ferdinand | but [do wish T could break him of the habit “Mangeny,” said Ethelbert, as they of always cating cloves,— Boston Post. on opposite ends of Turkish gaged at present. 1 hey looki “Why am I like the | ngee—- Where i he kept | Tocetier they were looking over the | ‘11, troken only by th ght’across:the aisle: | “O my, how funny New Eng r—In that magnificently furnishes penal WHS Ms Tee ar,” added Fe i: refused.” “What's so odd about that?” ean otto | Stranger—What is that parlor used for othing, nothing,” she replicd, trying t0 | canse—Q—never— kissing.” generally? blush, “only those are my sentiments eT ati Te abet Peatane, Hills Jailor—It is a cell. Way, etin. Stranger—I should say so—a great sell.— | — Frnst Crrizex—Been fishing, eh? — Philadelphia Call. Second Citizen—Yes. She Gave Him Her Hand. — C.—Wojerketch? C.—Nothing Waar makes your cheeks so red, Crim- C—Mow’s that? 2” asked young Yeast. of his friend who C—Dunno. Hiad just entered the club rather late in the C.—Been vaccinated? evening. ( . “ I just came from Miss. Fussan- € é So Near and Yet So Far. “THetto, Smith! You look like you had ck. | What is the matt Has your | wife diec | 8 y. ; my wife is well enough.” I “That accounts for it. feu said the young blood addressed. at is the matter, then?” S. C.—How? “Ah, ! And you asked the young —I—I have lost a fortune. F. C.—That’s what pe vaccinated | lady for her hand?” eat heavens, Smith! When did this | for—to keep them from cat nything, |‘ Yes: you've struck it occur?” don’t you know?—Oil City Derrick. And she refused?” lating in Wall street.” y | the oli of the Bugle Johnny. il | + You mean to say she gave you her hand Wall street never got a cent of it.” Boren te a asad : in marr go bucket shop, then? : pounee | + Well, not exaetly in marriag * Narry a bounce. J Fe ‘) Pp gave e he fs Chicago never received one cent of pie on Y | fellow; but she gave it to meacross the face umn in his paper and all his joke Mere SIRenn CT ‘Our devil says so and so.” [could | stood it if the jokes had been passable | but they were too bad altogether, and a had a reputation to sustain T left him. a couldn't stand having the responsibility for | Tout that sugar you gold w A Different Thing. such stuff being put on me."—Somercitle | Mer fo grocer {he other d «War ia palmistry, qa? sd Mave (Oe . ; “Well, there's not sngar enough in it for this other evening at the supper table. “T Wave a achome,” said the major, | c nd there's hardly sand enough for oPaimuler a “that is worth millions—yes millions,"” he ing one’s foftune by the lines which run | repeated as he noted the Colonel’s inered “Thi : understand our through the hand. lous expression. And what may it be,” | great combination brai blandly returned eee it can be done.” said | queried the latter. “It is,” said the major diluter. “You've only got to use twice Sa ie it eae vetting nee feet ye the | “ian idea of mine that if T'could discover a | as much and the residue is just splendid for alee chick oan tt hishanvs it would | Nhe paint perfectly waterproof, [could sell eleaning knives.” And he sold him another sa diffece: ah i eo it to travelling circusses and every one ot x of dried apples made from the best bela‘ailferent:thing:*— Scissors. them could exhibita whiteclephant, whereas | selected shoe pana —San Francisco Post. Saar now they cannot, for the danger lies in their Proferred to Punish His Son Himself. | joing caught out ina shower.” And the | An Ungallant Youth, «Loox here, Miss Toantwo,” said Crim. | schemer quietly puffed at his cigar while ia sonbeak to the village school teacher; “my | the colonel glanced furtively toward the | « [sx’r that a new horse [ saw boy says you kissed him the other day for | (vor to see how he could best escape. — Bos. this afternoon, Mr. Crimson saying his lesson. ‘Is that so? ton Pos asked Miss Fussenfeather when that g «Yea sir,” timidly replied the spin: “Why, how the dickens did you loose it?” “My rich uncle got well and marr again. [nearly had my fortune in my fine gers.”"—Paris Beacon. At the Corner Grocery. Tuene’s a little to much hippodrome about that r you sold me,” said a custo- Nee Adearvde: 4, don’t | man called on her the other evening, “Well,” continued Crimsonbeak, “don’t | jatecane Pry not te feel oifenuede but che | tt Yes” replied the young blood: n, Ifthereisany punish- | gruth must be told. T cannot. marry your | bought him last week,” », Vil attend to him!”—Yon- | sister.” ae “He looks like a good drive Mifkins — “Strange coincidence, very | the e yong lady mre a , ath sake Be tbe (ws a did yo. fe isan excellent driver,” came from The Pin. . Bins Dy. Lpo way,.Cwllen idid "you)| rial young min; who. was never kaGwa ator Joux A. LOOAN in his school | Blifkins— This morning on the beach, | to take a hint, 7 days was slightly deficient in literary compo- | | happened to see her in a bathing suit.” |, “‘ I’m passionately fond of driving,” still sition. ‘The teacher adopted a rule requirin Mifkins—"*And you? What were you | further ventured the young lady, studying all the pupils to write a composition every | doing there the figure in her fathe arpet Friday. ‘The future senator had been defi-| — Blifkins—* I was bathin Oh, are you, indeed,” snidl Crimsonbeak, cient in this respect, persistently refusing to | Mifkins—*Thatexplainsit. She has just | with a smile; “VIL give you a chance to writelcuaya. One his teacher deter- | told me that she could never, never marry | tive to-morrow, : mined to“ keep him in” until he produced | you.”—Philadelphia Call. sq cunswill you) «blr. Orimaontioak 2 8; a composition. He was given thirty: min- SS claimed tthe acts maiden. “Really utes after school to complete the task, being io. you eae . permitted to select his pt Tabjeeks At the The Gender of Misery. Y 4 tinued Crimsonbeak, getting rad of thirty minutes he produocd the f ia near the door and reaching for his hat; “* you lowing: “The Pin—The pin isa very useful |“ Morier, what gender is : see we are going to put down some carpets article. It has saved the lives of many men, | ‘The neuter gender, Johnny.” at the house to-morrow, and I'll get you to womenandchildren. J. A.L.” ‘Theteacher | “I'll bet you it isn’t. - I'll bet you it’s the | Come down and drive the tacks.”"— Yonkers was pleased with the result, but was anxious | feminine gender.” : States: to know how the pin had saved the lives of | ‘* And how do you make that out?” —=— so many men, women and children.“ Why,” “Cause it says here * misery loves compa- ) IMPROVED ROOT BEER said little Johnny, “by not swollerin’ ’em.” | ny,’ and don’t all women love compan. HIRES te sparks ; —UChicago Eye. Kentucky State Journal. receipt of 23¢, comicbooks.com