Judge — June 14, 1884 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Boarding-house Dinner. L rent you, but John is the hero to-ni For the dinner is ready And the dishes a But above the boarders com 1 the clamor and wonderful sight, Comes a cons ling for Jobn nt, promiscuous ¢ There are waiters in force to the number of two, But Jenny, the girl, docs nothing but stare, And stands over there as if held down by glue, And never brings just what you're asking her to, Like well done beef when y for it rare. hn, the sass,” bawls a buxom old “And Vl thank you, sir, for Uh ‘or a distant dish she takes pr Capture And tr hauls in, and removes the same, ors wis on a gentleman's ga “Was that your t I John, here, this nm the upper end ina querulous bs 1 froin every directior rumblin john, Tsay and reac and“ T wish he may —— “John, here, Fl take upple sas But Jolin has escaped to the kitchen, has fled, And Ja sat confusi tittle for all th On his disrespect and his obst a big huuk, head, But meantime the boarders are getting up spunk, Five minutes go by—the table Hl More hungry consumers 1 cn a seat nny, the when John rushes in den, is greeted with, * Where have you been? Here, take th thi pread nd give me some meat.” “Well, I declare, there's beefsteak, of course ive shame to have that every di " sneers another, ‘ becomes wor and And the m ets mad if you kick up a fuss; And- te of soup,” moans poor Mr. A sir; one ¥ ste"—he's been there an hour, Why don’t they bave bass ‘outish, you say ‘ake those onions away; these t matoes are sour,” rice cakes are poor—need a little Quoth the dame “You aint brought me no * Be quiet, my love; what is it you wish? * Wish! -now look at my plate and talk like that, Doy 1 bones and where fs the fish? Those people up there ha: And I— will” cleaned every dish, y, dolin; something to eat, if you have the seeret whom John doth treat » the best of the fare—in accordance with tips ‘The boarders all growl and get in a heat, And whisper and say they've had nothing to eat While the favorite smiles, and his coffee si But the meal is now endii And II tinish together, get coffee want “1 jew why cream Yet some are sti gar and struggling and mutter “what leather! But—a ish and a lull—on the breeze from a feather, des the madam, so sweet and supreme, is now crushed, And presides with t nd the landlady rules, at dignity handed from yore. + Here John—be quick—this cof Up jumps the d: Miss Pool's, “Do you think we are We've waited an hour and wont wait aneahe THE JUDGE. uBor Surti (to Pete)— Pet Tales of My Grandmother. TALE NO. M1. lived with vu She was gr "son ater. She had lived all her life in great awe of her mother. She had married at the age of twenty-five, I be- lieve, but even after her marriage did not ever presume to act on her own and her hus- band’s authority without consulting her mother. In fact, it was rumored that dur- ing her honey-moon she wrote for mamma’s leave to eat butter on her bread, and also required the maternal sanction on many other points, on which most would have used their own discretion, or permitted their husband to decide for them, In fact, Aunt Prissy’s husband was a person of very: little weight, and it was on the whole a relief to all parties when he fell into the river one day, and the jury brought in a verdict of « Found drowned.” T never learnt who found him, or any further particulars, but Aunt Prissy and T were fast friends. Who but Aunt Prissy spread preserves on my bread when I was in disgrace? Who but Aunt Prissy mended my torn garments, and surreptitiously undid my various pieces of mischief? Who else would persuade grandma I was out walking when I was in bed in the morn- ing, or in bed, when I out larking in the evening? riers, ferrets, piebald rats, and pet monkeys, and all other things her gentle soul abhorred ? —dear Aunt Prissy! We understood one another so well, butshe had hard work often to keep my many cnormities from grandma’s Tue cat o’nine tales—Whittington’s ¢ Yes, and ninety times nine. ears, « Wher that boy, Priscilla?” grandma WANTED TO BE INSURED. You want me to hold dat hoss? dat is dat you deposit wid me de price ob his funeral ’xpences.” Who else found me houseroom for my ter- | Say, Pete; Id like to git you to hold my pony a few Well, I jest holdem on one condition, and would say, ‘‘after no good, I'll be bound, I'll send him toa public school. I think Mr. Kane is not half equal to managing him.” ‘Then my Aunt would say, ‘* Dear mother, he is in no mischic You remember the Doctor told you he required exercise, and I sent him out for a walk.” la, I thought the boy was Il, but he was very rude indeed, yes ‘The Doctor said he was to take walk every morning, on an empty stomach, ked, ‘Upon whose?’ Ile is sadly I ordered a bottle of pomade for his hair, and he rubbed it all on the bare spots on Martin’s fur jacket, to make the hair grow, he said, And when the Daltons called y , he had your steel bustle hanging in the entrance hall for his monkey to climb up.” ‘There is no doubt I w Her maid, Martin, was privately engaged to be married with my knowledge and consent, but without that of my grandmother. I conveyed letters and mes constantly between Jenkins, the groom, and the trusty Martin. I wrote verses for Martin to send to her sweetheart, something in this strain, for I was quite a poet, in a small way, and I dearly loved both Jenkins and Martin: Ont Jen lu While you are exercising ‘The horses in the park Oh, Jenkins, Johnny Jenkins Attend unto my moan ‘And send at once for Martin In case you should be thrown. ns, Johnny Jenkins you, my «park, I don’t mean to defend this style of poctry, but it pleased all parties, and was considered beautiful. I afterwards assisted at the pri- comicbooks.com