Judge — May 17, 1884 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

is said to be u icates that she is ¢: work.—Boston Post. discovered a wonder- ful force that is supplant the steam He has probably beca experiment- own breath. — Bismarck Tribune. Alert S fact in Arct nan ha 1 for A Cuicaco ing with hi Ix the recent western floods the report of of Joseph Cook’s lectures was found after the water had subsided. fectly dry.—Boston Post. ‘I'e cashier of the bank at Newton, Tll., lost the bank money in corn options. Dear, dear! how those corn doctors do charge, anyway urlington Free Press. uked out that John Mormon church one It has just | president of th delicious d her. He didn’t mean it. Heacted involun- tarily, t h force of habit.— Bismarck Tribune. ‘Taylor, led Patti Ou, my son, prize fighters never go to war. They know that acannon ball, bent upon knocking a man out in one round, doesn’t ck to its own corner merely man lies down, You never he: fighting anywhere unless there is lots of gate money behind the —Burlington Hawkeye. Rs. Muu , Mrs. deed it ) And there was a big crowd out Ia Mrs. Demps Mrs. Demps there was, Mrs. Mullony. many as twenty-five hundred out. Mrs. Mallony—Oh, there was more than that, Mrs. Dempsey. ‘There was as many as two thousand.—Cincinnati Enquirer. ~ A Mercnant Traveter at dinner r quested the waiter to bring him a piece of rare beef, and when it come, it was rare indeed. W because oNY—It was a foine night last — Shure There was as he remarked warning] e undone dish. “Yes, sah,” responded the dark) “Take this beef out, please, and kill it.” The waiter crawled into a napkin ring and disappeared.—AMerchant Traveler. Isr by the paper,” said Mrs. Brown to her husband, “that your friend Jones has had a handsome bull dog presented to him by his admiring friends. “Good gracious, is it possibl Mr. Brown; how injudicious! will ruin him. “Ruin him; why so?” Why, the man has four marriageable d ughter: that he is trying to get off his hands.”—Somerville Journal. she rky. med that exc why Tere is hardly anybody so ignorant that he does not appreciate the danger of fooling with an unloaded pistol. Loaded pistols miss fire, or if they go off are apt to miss the persons aimed at, but the unloaded _pis- tols, never. Not long since, an Austin gen- tleman was awakened by somebody monke ing at the shutter. He knew at once th it was a burglar. He did not relish the idea of having a dead burglar on his conscience; besides, being a poor shot he was afraid the burglar might fire back. Out of considera- tion for the burglar he said in a loud voice, “I believe this pistol is not loaded.” Next morning the tracks in the garden revealed the fact that the burglar had averaged seven- teen feet in his jumps and had cleared a seven-foot fence. It was a good joke on the burglar as the pistol contained seven ball cartridges.— Texas Siftings. It was per- | ” and tried to embrace | | tentousi THE JUDGE. Can asked a “Certainly, in your drink. Tue Democrats might as v ‘Tilden, his old age and decrepitude not- withstanding. No man th n nominate will live long enough to be elected. — Peoria Transcript. you give me ten cents for a drink? ly-looking chap of a reporter. eplied the reporter, ‘bring —Burlington Free Press. ell nominate Betwont, N. H., boasts of a woman who put and chops wood with her hus- It is customary to use an axe, but he may be an unusually sharp man,—Sis- marck Tribune, Ix Sweden workmen are paid 10 to 25 cents for 12 hours’ labor. But they do not have the awful responsibility that workmen in this country have of managing the gov- ernment.— Boston Post. Jones has been in the habit of taking physic in the spring for twenty years, He says he does not know as it docs him any good, but he thinks it shows his physical en- durance.— Boston Advertiser. ‘Tne recent Wagner musical festival held in Boston proved so successful financially, that Mr. Wagner thinks seriously of giving up the sleeping-car business, and devoting his time to music.—Marlborough Times. ‘Tue sun cast its deep red reflection on the moon last night. ‘There is an ominous por- s about natural phenomena now that would have made rfect nic” for the astrologers of old, in their day. —Hartford Post. “Call the A. Q. and Y. a slow road? J dear sir, you have been misinformed. It is the fastest road in the country, and always has been. Why, it pa its dividends the very first year, and has continued to p: them ever since.”—Boston Transcript. Aw Ohi didn’t sue him for breach of prom e frightened him back to her b ening to send toa Dime Museum as sity the lays My girl, when jilted by her lover, But threat- a curio- letter in which he called her ‘ his rat least fifty times.—Philadelphia Bulletin. BurtiNoTo, Ia., is discussing ways and and means to make good the $28,000 it has heretofore annually received from saloon licenses. Some recommend a $1 tax on bald headed residents and others think it would be better to tax those who vote for prohibi- tion and practice license. ston Post, “Now, Johnny, if six men can do a piece of work in one day, how long will it take one man to do it?” asked an Austin school teacher of a sharp little boy The school teacher is a fool if he thinks I can answer that question,” whispered Johnny in a low voice to the next boy. Speak out, Johnny, I dare ay you are right,” re- plied the pedagogue.—Tezas Siftings. Tue Hon. John L. Sullivan, of as a new baby, which he At times he finds it necessary to administer to it corporeal punishment, and it was on one of these oc ons recently that Mrs. Sullivan intevrupted the proceedings with the cry of foul.” ‘* Wot’s the matter with yez?” demanded the Hon, John, looking up at his wif “Ye are striking the child below the belt.”—Philadelphia Call. Boston, ery proud of. THE UMTED STATES MUTUAL ACCIDENT ABROCIATION, OADWAY, NEW YORK THE REST IN THE WOR UNPAID CLAIMS. NO EXTRA RMITS GRANTING an. THOUSANDS OF CLAIMS PAID, CHARGE NU CONTESTED 01 83,000 INSURANCE, WITH @23 A WEEK INDEMNITY, COSTS MEMDERS ABOUT @13 A VEAR, WHICH MAY bE PAID AT ONE TIME IP PREFERRED. @10,000 LNsUK ANCE, WITH @30 WEEKLY INDEMNITY RTION. ATE RATES. MEMBERSHIP PEE, @3 FOR EACH @3,000 INSURANCE, PAYABLE BUT ©: AT VR NCE WRITE. FOR AND APPLICATION BLANK, WHICH YOU MAY FILL, SIGN AND FORWARD T. ME OFFICE AND RECEIVE YOUR POLICY IN RETU NO MEDICAL EXAMINATION IS REQUIRED TO BECOM MEMBER. 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