Judge — May 10, 1884 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The Annals of a Tenement House. ‘THE CHRISTENTNO, Ix tement in one of the McGwi- gan seven-story tenements on a particular day last week. A doctor had been sent for in hot haste, and after a short visit to his patient, descended the stairs with the com- placent smile of a man who has done his duty towards increasing the native popu- lation, and add one more prospective presidential candidate. Immediately upon the doctor's of the female tenants congregated’ on the landing of the fourth floor, and in. whisper: became absorbed in the probable result of the doctor’s visit. ” queri ay me xit, several . Mullaly. responded female Mrs. rtments from came who was immedi- “Tt This seemed gratifying news to the females and with many benedictions for the ne comer they entered Mr. McGwigan’s room, After surveying a red mite of infantile humanity, the ve vent to their pent up feeling in such remarks as:—“ It’s the dead spirit av it’s fader! "—* Shure he has his mother’s bootiful terrier-cotta colored hair!” May theangels and the arch-angels watch him and may he become an alderman.” We will draw the curtain, or to be more veracious, we will shut the door upon this domestic scene and take an historical view of ov the MeGwigan family to which this last scion has b added. The Me( ans were of a noble family, and, like tree, de all Irishmen owning a genealogical ended from a direct line of kings: (aces and bowers don’t count for much in the Emerald Isle.) The ancestors of this family are renowned for their bravery, and their descendants for their in mounting the ladder of fame —they are hodcarriers. It is related of the grand-unele of our youthful he that in his native land he amused himself in winter by throwing snow- balls filled with dynamite at the sons of neighboring landlore > that in the course of a few winters all the immediate heirs ap- parent to large estates had winged their flight to abodes where the Irish cease from troub- ling, and dynamite does the rest. ‘This ancestor came to America to organize a body of intrepid celtic youth who were to carry out his original theory for extirpation oflandlordism. Il fund” for this purpose, and in the course of a few y he became the landlord of a block of tenement hous He is still receiving moncy for the furthering of his theory, but the hour of its practice has not yet come. Cornelius McGwigan the father of the urrived boy was a man who rose daily in the eyes of the world—being a hod-carrier pied the back roomson the fourth story in one of his uncle’s many tenements. Cornelius had been in the hand-cuffs of wed- lock long enough to be the father of seven consecutive daughter: Ilis paternal joy can better be imagined than described when on his return from work the neighbors in- formed him of the advent of the long post- poned son. He became so full of joy he volunteered to ‘ lick every tenant in the house individually and collectively. Bar- ney Brogan, who had got drunk at McGwi- nd whisky that THE JUDGE. Park Gvann (to Yellow Ochre, who is setting up easel, Ge. you dirty peddler. know it’s agin the law to put up pedlin’? stands in the sketching.)—* Aha! I caught ye, gan’s expense, took upon himself to reply to this pugilistic challenge. The fistic debate was long and tediou 3. was knocked down stairs. On recovering himself he swept the hallway with Brogan. As both men advanced about equal arguments, and resulting in tie vote, several of the ‘ finest” were called in to sum up the case. Through the intervention of McG’s uncle, who was a political friend of the Judge, they were both discharged in the mornin The advent of a son in the McGwigan family was not an every-day occurrence, so it behooved the joyous ‘pater, in comformity with national precedent, to get elaborately drunk in honor of the nativity of this primo- genial male. ‘or three days consecutively subsequent did the overjoyed father make that tencment howl with his individual saturnali, ‘The fourth day, Sunday, he ordained to be a day of tenemental hilarity, Sunday afternoon was decided on for the christening. ‘he tenement, as a matter of course, was as fullas a 17th of March Ii- ‘The small rooms were crowded to in was preparing the bawl- ing infant for ‘its w: iting sponsors, a pair of j young tenement natives. “Mrs. MeGwigan will ye burry up and and fix the kid, me and Rosanna are going to adance Billy McGlory’ sterni htan’ we want ter finish up dis cris’nin’ biz.” ‘Thus spake the prospective godfather. Ina few minutes the ‘kid’ was ready, and, in a mountain of shawls, blankets, and all man- ner of wrappings was handed over to its sponsors. ‘They were about to start for the church when the godmother asked, ‘ What is to be the name of the child? “Ye's will name him Algernon Augustus,” chimed the mother, at the suggestion of her Americanized daugh- ters. Algernan Agoostus, is it?” quoth the preparatory t Can't ye read the Park?” signs, “And, if infarm forward, would ye steppin » baud, MeG wigan, is that th anceshtry “No,” Mr but it’s MeGwigan. it, in troth own a genteel name very genteel,” thin no son of moi me uncle, the treasurer of the dynamite || fund, and his name will be Patrick, or no || name ” ve ye ter understand,” shrieked nd. at he is my s phat, I loike, call not be Patrick him Herenpon cnsved on the individual propric 1 say his name will be clinch the unequi conclusivene remarks Mr. MeG. threw a kerosene the caput of his spouse, who dodged favor of one of the gu Mrs. M not to be silenced by and heir should be name tus, by hurling a flat-iron at maste: A hot debate followed in both sides delivered effective phy ments, Mrs. McG. had a firm m: of her husband's hair, while he st: impression of his hobnail fairy boots wife's voluptuous person. In the general melee sponsors slipped away unperceived wi infantile cause of this domestic feud. their absence had been noticed they rei and announced that they had comp matters by h Wilde McG wigan. Oil veyto that,” shouted the irat and mater ina breath, But the been irremed of the chu by continuing the until the beer kegs ran dry keen lawn was all absorbed. Algernon n and the don’ tye | me, Mrs. hame of any of your answered | | he will be called and his name will | | an extraneous dia y such a weak argument, emphasized that’ her son her lord nped the which followed, the ving the child christened Oscar child had bly christened thus by the rites So they made the best of it ighting and festiviti I m M ne will after Ishall || logue mpat Lit in Agus- nd which argu: ic grip on his th the Before pturned pmised e pater Cruis- comicbooks.com