Judge — May 3, 1884 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

and that therefore it was much more proper for me, a woman, to read it, than it was for him, a man. He said ‘* bosh,” and started to throw the volume out of the window, I commanded him to stop, and told him it was Marie’s, not min Then he waxed furious and said he wouldn’t have his child’s morals contam- minated by a nurse that was addicted to | reading such stuff. The next morning he renewed the attack | and wanted me to discharge Marie. I told him I should do no such thing, after which we started for the wedding, and after that | he left for London direct. I wonder how he thinks I'd ever do my back hair without Marie! e idea of his presuming to dic- tate to me about my maid, anyhow, Ife also forbade me ‘o und see Bern- hardt, but the Baron has been kind enough to take me. I couldn’t make Heraclitus go with me when she was in New York, but I don’t care now. [am sure she appears to much better advantage here in Paris than she did in America. I don’t know what Iferaclitus will say, if he finds out I went without his consent. Well, I must trust to luck that he'll never know it, I also have been to the Odeon to see a called ** Antony,” one of Dumas’s pieces tae 1 don’t much for tr usually, but Madame Te: ly splendid. The Baron is jus to take the nicest pe sout. Ie speaks ts that I don’t quite catch when delivered in French, he | ays explains most beautifully. — [ must confess, however, that things are said on the stage here that would not do at all in New York, I am getting to be a perfect Parisian 1 the Baron’s translations no | noy me, or make eblush. ** (oni soit qui mal y pens » “When you're in Rome do as the Romans do.” Loften tell that to Heraclitus, but he says I’m getting completely demoralized, and says he hopes the time will soon come when he can return home to his dear New York, “1’m happy enough here, or should be if [ had more money; but alas, one can’t have everything in this world, and I don’t sup- pose there will ever be perfect happiness any- where for PENNYFEATUER, fluently, and any little p long PENELOP! He Didn't Get Her. Newrorr dude went to mer Scrog- n’s house to ask th ntleman for his daughter, and this is what passed betweer the two as they stood at the front gate: *T come rgins, toask you-; for the ha y ughtaw Marian Ah! So you're the feller Mariar sez is sich a fine-lookin’ man. How’d you git out alk? “Yes, saw. It being a fide evening, I thought I would walk it-aw.” ; “Well, it looks purty much as if it might storm soon. I sce a small cloud out yonder, and I think ye hed better walk back agin a soon as ye kin, ur the wind might blow y away. Good evenin’.” Fert. many a flower is born to blush unscen, And waste its fragrance on the desert air; Full oft’ the filthy oleomargarine Is served as premium butter from a fair. —Bismarck Tribune. ' TALK about omnipotenc Ww hy, the devil can do anything that is imp-possible. THE JUDGE. “BY HEAVENS, I'M POISONED!" Johnny's Essay on Dogs. people use them for bait when they w ‘ant to ; bulls and that kind of ketching fish and Bill ‘Thompson Inglish Bulldo nose he is 60 sag Bull baiting. Ith but the Buffs The Dog is a domes Fox but most dogs wont std hi itif you he is knockternal in’his t squeel like the Mules & alfolt of a $\ cious that he wont let go ¢ f your Hine ures and can’t he says in Old Dogs ié like other k, but Bill Thompson the war Dogs but now nobody can talk » professors in The dogs is Up on the hole nimals that ever Daisyhead made tramp on their tale habits but he de ‘Times before If you don’t g any more Do, the Collidges. tact Human people great Fidelity to Man he is called the King in our school asus Boys he would a a show to be President too but he said in them Dark Ages where he was born boys show to be President but Jo Simmin he would sooner run a use Garfield killed him, ‘Thompson says ‘ Our teacher french at Miss Krautschw: he says if you want to make a in french and ty O Reservoir » would chaw his is dreaming when n’t git his mouth our dogs awake and if he had You can know he he wants to Bark open, but if something ma Sngine than be Pre thful Companion of nd whon our Watch sa peddler or some- School and s! then he sneck and bites his legs— i Bill Thompson sa can’t git over it and he was made so every all at once, our belongs to the De olf F amily but Ui ele > knowed better than shut, for he said he a wolf would be a doggoned nice I le id could have their In the Roller-Skate Rink. nd trip and gravita Lunge and plunge and thrash the planks With your blameless, shameless shank In excruciating pain, Stand upon your head a g kink by kink Kick the roof out of the rink! In derisive bursts of mirth, Drop kawhop and jar the ea your lungs down in your ek Oh, tempestuous equinox Of dismembered legs and arms! Strew your ways with wild alarms; Fameward skoot and ricochet On your glittering vertebra. night while all the family in Peace full Slumber and Bill Thompson ho says if adog has wool in his teeth the aint no Beast of Pray, vs that don’t mean that he’s worse than other people for she says it don’t mean that kind of Pray—but the N wr is the hayriest of the whole Lot who can swim more than a week before he Ascends to the surface to Breathe, he is therefore called the Inglish bulldog i Found Land d hip of the Desert wful onery to look says if a Inglish bulldog looks like that he would like to see a Dutch one. Bill Thompson he says the: Past young inen are called flash, because the quickness of a flash is proverbial. are called Ing- A SEWING MACHIN a wheat drill. lish Bulldogs because he says in Iv comicbooks.com