Judge — May 3, 1884 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

graphic establishments in the country, occupy Nos. 324, 326, and 328 Pearl street, where newsp and others can have all work in these lines most ly executed. ° ° . Tur Jevor is the best cure for blues we know and well worthy its extended patronage.” ing per met Pass it On. As Arab came to the river side With a donkey bearin But 1 For he had too good an * n obelisk would not try to ford the tide —Boston Globe So he camped all night by the river side, And remained till the tide had ceased to swell, For he knew should the donkey from life subside, He would never find his —Sulem Sunbeam In the morning he sought to ford the tide; When the donkey stopped at the water to quaff, ‘The rider fell off, let the obelisk ‘Thus affordin, le, eer eer Rome Sentinel But in the eve when the tide was low And the sun had set on the v He stirred up the mule and mad or was he stopped b: —Pittdurgh Commerciat-Gazette tation, it £0, an? Soon they reached their journey’s end, ‘The mule was frisky under the Insh, And while the girls looked briskly on ‘The mule and master cut a — —? hiladelphia Exening News, And a very 7 ‘Thus filling their hearts with bliss, For girls have often donkeys admire But this is said in () —Chiecag: Specimen And in all the journey the donk: He did not seem to be weari-ed But the girls were neverthe made ess afral He was not the mule of the Newark Daily Advertiser. But he was cold, this wise old mule, ‘Though wise was he as Solon; For though his load was kindling wood, He did not put the —Life So he set forth to find a wife, And thought that he would bag her, But a butcher put an end to his life With a cold and piercing ¢ —Commercial Advertiser, When the master saw that his friend was dead, And finished his earthly race, In bis arms he took the old mule’s head For a lingering last — Boston Post. Like Yorick Sterne in maudlin tears, He wept and bawled like a feeble fool, For the loss of his grub there may be fears As much as the donkey he used to —Providence Journal. When the rider fell off (and the obelisk rolled), He was filled with the greatest vexation, And now is the time for the truth to be told He emitted a bad ! Tue oLp story—* Plaze have pity on a poor blind man, yer honer, wid fifteen orphan chilher. ‘Divil a sup have T had, the day.” A BAS-RELIEP—when the basso has fin- ished his solo. Tue best s irt-supporter—a woman. THE JUDGE. 3 Wues Timothy O'Hagan O'Dwyer first receipts, so dear to the pugilistic heart, opened his youtliful eyes upon a world of showed a falling off. People grew tired of sin and sorrow, there were no indications of paying a dollar to see him knock out an ad- the proud and distinguished position he w versary. Something had to be done. The destined to attain. ‘lo be sure, there were American enterprise and native genius of those who afterw: professed to remember his backer was equal to the occasion. He that he dout up his fist very early in life, advertised that Tim O'Dwyer would fight but at the time that circumstance was not four rounds Marquis of Queensbury rules, remarked upon, since it appears to be a with a mule. common characteristic of babies. It was Interest was now not till he was three years old that he and the public disc knocked out his little brother (aged eighteen fight enthusi ‘oused with a veng ssed the novel ] tically. Sympathy was months) in one round and laid the founda- erally felt for the mule, but there were some tion of his future fame. From this time on who held to their opinion, founded on many his progress was rapid. ‘Three or four times a comic paragraph from the national fanny a week he took his stand in an impromptu pen, that a mule could knock out anything ring and larruped his opponent effectually, under heaven, including even a steam engine if not scientifically. The name of Timothy or Timothy O'Hagan O'Dwyer. Mr. Bergh O'Hagan O'Dwyer soon became a terror in attempted to interfere in behalf of the mule, the neighborhood. but he was laughed down by an indignant It has been said by the biographers of this populace. ‘The sport must go on—and it did. great and good man that he never was licked. Sehold the day has come. Public inter- ‘This is quite possible. Indeed, there is only est is excited to an extent that causes even one recorded occasion where his opponent the imminent presidential election to be for- was able to claim a draw, and it is the gotten. A mule, the champion kicker of history of this occasion that we are about to the ‘Sunny South,” is imported from Ken- write. First, however, we wish to place be- tucky. lis pedigree is duly attested. De- fore our readers a few of the more salient scended from a long line of Blue-grass an- characteristics of Timothy O'Hagan O’Dwy- cestors, with just sutlicient admixture of the er, Te was a terror from Terroraville. He donkey in the last generation to give him stood six feet in his—well, he would have the requisite staying and kicking qualities, stood six fect in his stockings if he had ever he stands resplendent as the one living erea- worn any; as it was, he stood six fect with- ture worthy to stand before ‘Timothy O’Ha- out them. His eyes were small, but that gan O’Dwyer and give him tap for tap. We gave him an advantage. They could peep Il not quote the betting before the event. out of an infinitesimal slit in the swollen Both sides had their supporters, and the flesh when some unusually fortunate antago- money was put up freely. You could have succeeded in bun them up. He heard a pin drop when the contestants faced had a hair lip, which curled fiercely upward each other. ‘The usual handshaking was and left lis long yellow fangs exposed, dispensed with for obvious reasons, but the which was at once a protection to his mouth seconds shook hands instead, just to show and a deadly obstacle to him who hit him that there was no ill-feeling. “Hard gloves thereon, as the offending fist was invariably were produced and approved, and the rather cut in the operation. THis nose was perfectly ticklish operation of adjusting them to the flat on his face, but whether he was born so mule’s fect was successfully accomplished. or whether that organ was flattened in one of his earlier encounters, we have no means of judging. Altogether he was not handsome to look upon, but, as his admirers said, he was a born fighter. He was also, as we re- marked before, a terror from Terrorsville. It would need the pen of a Froissart to do justice to his numerous battles. The news- paper accounts were meagre, although scem- ingly voluminous. Ilis opponent appeared to be a mere nine-pin set up to be knocked down. ‘Tim O’Dwyer was a hard hitter and apparently invincible. He was also a bo- nanza to his backer. Finally none could be found to stand up against him, ‘The gate comicbooks.com