Judge — April 19, 1884 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. My pear Mr. Spinxin Although you may deem me presumptuous; although you may think, and I fear only | too justly, that I violate every instinct of maidenly modesty and decorum, yet I feel that the lips can not be mute when the heart is overflowing with a yearning and un: ble affection. Oh! my Jeremi iy call you by that dear name?—my heart natu- rally revolts at the cold and formal appell tion of Mr. Spilkins—though we met for the first time last night, yet, shall I_ confess it? yes, dearest, I feel that to conceal it would be impossible,—the grave and beneficent dign ty that sits enthroned upon your Jove-like brow; the Apollo-like grace that characterizes your every movement; the inexpressible charm of your conversation, and withal that gracious deference, the true characteristic of every chivalrous heart, which you manifest toward tho sex, have made a deep and last- | ing impression upon my inexperienced and only too susceptible heart. Do not, my Jeremiah, despise me for this artless confes- | sion of the weakness of an innocent and trusting girl. Iam painfully aware of the dreadful barrier ! you are a married man—that exists to keep two loving hearts apart; but why, dearest, shonld the galling bond of matrimony, where there is no uni- son of soul, where that sacred tie is but a hollow mockery—why should that divide | two hearts that beat as one? I know, from the few words you could not restrain— guarded as you ‘thought they were—that you love me.” Will you grant me an inter- view? I feel that I must see you. I will call to-morrow evening at six o'clock at your house, and have no fear, dearest; I will in- vent an excuse to account for my presence, should I be seen by—you know whom. Yes, my own Jeremiah, come, come to the arms of, your own, Nora Darina. New York, April 1, 1884. Mrs, Spilkins read the note carefully over again, and then quietly replaced it in the en- velope and put it in hier pocket. | She was calm; dreadfully calm. Whether this unex- pected discovery of her husband’s perfidy had rendered her specchless from grief, or whether it were but the treacherous and delusive calm which precedes the storm, certain it is that she uttered not a word; that even her features were remarkably com- posed, and that she went about her house- hold duties with her usual imperturbed and unvarying precision, as if there had been no such things in the world as faithless husbands and wicked and d ning women—but per- haps she did wish at that moment, down in the bottom of her heart, that she could see her guilty spouse, just for a few moments. rt M isconstrued. “Witt you walk, or take a” an English landlady of a departing guest, who hadn’t been in the country long enough to know all the peculiarities of the native phraseology. “you are very kind,” said the guest, blushing to the roots of his hair, and with a glance at the full, rosy-looking and tempting lips of his hostess, “and if— it is—quite all the same to you, I—I guess V’—I'll take a bus.” And then the idiot sat patiently in the ofiice for half an hour, and. wondered why she didn’t come up and kiss him. Dip you ever hear the Queensware. PROFESSIONAL JEALOUSY. Waite E Our Choir. C—n—0—1—R is looked pon by most people as am 1 little word, but in reality it generally signifiesa world of inharmonious- ness and combustification. A president of a railway may have to manage a big organi zation, and a proprietor of a circus is uni- versally couseled to has difficult job in hand, but neither of these tasks is ‘a cir- cumstance to the proper performance of the duties of a choirmastership. A choirmaster has to be built on a please- all-style of architecture. Ie has to be sweet to the sopranos, alluring to the altos; has to talk big to the bass, and be hale fellow. well met with the tenors. In fact, the more one looks into the subject, the more is one con- vinced that Webster must have become semi- deluded when he studied the matter, for “choirmaster” to be properly translated in the dictionary, should read—a supervisor of a slumbering volcanic body, at all times lia- ble to burst forth; a bosser (sometimes) of a conglomeration of cranks and their crotchet a persecuted person whose limited bi power is liable at all times to jump from off its seat of reason. In our choir things didn’t come up so smil- ingly as they might have done. _ ‘The mem- bers were equally composed of the volcanic and crotchety order, and the whole organi- zation required a delicate handling of the sharps and flats. Our choirmaster, however, not up to the knack of the trade, not being of the required soft-soap disposition, and the consequence was, instead of manipu- lating the organization, the organization generally played with him, For instance, the four leading exponents of the four departments of voiceology were allowed to keep up a continual warfare against each other. Last Sunday was the church’s jubilee, and the rivals were entered fora hallelu tette. A highly exciting race ensue . So- prano, who was given a start, rushed off well with “ Halle-hallelujah—lelujahjabhal a trigger, never grow an inchlet tagger! jahhallellu elulajah Hal—here Tenor col- lared her, closely followed by Alto. Bass, who was at sc y making up for lost time, but dently reserving his wind for the final burst. At the quarter, Alto let out a few extra pounds, and with @ magnificent spare got equal with Tenor and Soprano. ‘The former showed signs of quavering, and the pace was evidently tell- ling on him. One hundred yards from the the tape Bass paused for a moment, took a semi breath, and then came pounding down the home stretch, seeming to cleave the air with his tremendous efforts. Soprano re- sponded gaily to the challenge, but could not go the pace, Bass coming in first on the “jah” after a magnifi ond on the ‘lu’ with Soprano two notes behind on the “hal” and Tenor nowhere. Bass was triumphant and fairly wilted his opponents with the victorious glance which he flashed upon them. That heat, however, was the death of the whole musical concern The Altos, who were backed up by the Sopranos, refused to sing “seconds” to any bass, whilst Tenor challenged the triumphant so to a back- ard afterpi and treated him to some music @la Sullivan which placed him ** hoarse in the thorax ” forthe next six months. And the choirmaster—the choirmaster has decided to acquire a mastery over a less comprehen- sive conundrum than a choir. That he may succeed is the earnest wish of the defunct “Our Choir.” RK. W, ELLIVER. A GREENHORN in town became tired potel he hired. k and alas, Soa room ata But ala He blew out the gas And lay down on the bed and expired, A COUNTRY ENCHANGE—Swapping jack- knives. Imrration may be the sincerest flattery, but it is often the flattest sincerity. comicbooks.com