Judge — April 5, 1884 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Old Jones's 's, Fhllosophy: Soap don't « but lots 0” people don’t afford both. Aman that needs forty whiskey to give him an ap cent dinner always has the dy feel comfortable w nd that smiles all the ti bit me never stopped wage as a8 much as diamonds, m to be uble to worth of » for a fifteen When [sce a feller siftin’ two quarts of an’ smokin’ a ten-cent cigar at wan I know he'll get rich, t he’: ashes aman that’s allus workin’ an’ I'll show you one that a at om and ‘better to eat than nd children do. I don’t often ask riddles, but wot do you think a family is likely to have for dinner wen the old man earns cight dollars a week, spends four for beer, two for cigars and afte ticke t deal of talk about folks killin’ themselves by overwork, — There’s more people struck by lightnin’, Most such critters work eight hours a ¢ d e, drink or play poker ten more. “Then thes break down, and their wives put on the tombstone, ‘* Died of Overwork.” You can't rely on signs, Lots of folks say that the man with big ears is gen and stupid, When boy I went a cirkis, and th mule no big than a ten-we asked boys to ric * licked me for b to give the mule a medal. a boy we had a bi that hadn't as much sens shee} much chipmuck. ‘That dog wouldn't ary bird; we knew it, > Knew it, but he kept up an awful b nd low, just as cowardly as ourn, u go by with a butcher's &: ind them two dogs would an’down on different sides of the °. to kill as if they would tear each other up, if it wasn’t for » fence. One day the two got after each happened some or the soall of a suddent they came op- ch other, with nothing between m two dogs just stopped and other for a minnit, then they between their legs an’ cut nt directions, as if the Old There’s piles an’ piles heap more anxious for a afence between ‘em than clear ground.—Howard fight wen there wen they’re (Kan.) Grip. on reat deal of the move- er to a physician, “TL Wave heard a said a m replied the ician, tell them to sit still five ‘minut ins lived a long while ago, didn’t trotte very long whileago,” was theanswer. guess Chicago must be an makes you think ay that Annat *The' yneient cit I heard reporter for lyn Eagle. THE Rememper N. 0. Pic Et. Mar has eighteen wives and he goes into war as amere pastime.—Hartford Post. lish lord dined with the Presi lish lords are gradually. get- —Philadelphia Call. ‘ people would be healthier if they ate more onions, Undoubtedly they would, It would keep them f ng out nights.— Burlington Free Press. JUDGE. the poor. It ayune. costs nothin Docro' Two Connecticut lovers have up after a quarrel th eight years malice. t took place some fifty- people cannot hold Cincinnati Saturday Night, Joun B. Gover says news) n when he makes ainst intemperance. — Au ave escaped identification in Ch having his beard removed, but 1 capture to wed by a Chic Boston Po. Wuen Ev Maunr, been ment m him a ton Commercial Gazette. hard on 1 ‘o barber. the false prophet, has GENTLEMEN find but one use fo They use it to hang their spectacle the ladies utilize it asa of post when tl of veili “Yrs, sir,” said the dealer, “it is a law that’ prevents anyone from opening « school within five hundred feet of a liquor saloon, Schoolhouses are the ruin of the trade, any way.”—Somerville Journal. n hitehi Transcript. Susan Cooper, is a fresh beginning, the world made new.” Iti of this when one wakes up w headache.—New Orl ‘Tue Hudson be ruined by the a poet, writes, “ Every every morning nleasant tot h the same old er fruit district is said to If the old sign forerunner of not knaw the apple et it.—Hartford Post. Ir is reported that some of the China crops have been killed by the frost. We knew at we had some pretty heavy frosts this winter, but we really didn’t think it had gotten down so low as that.— Yonkers States- man. nis the fruit year. t of discontent until we Matrnrw home ik are no Ansoip havin it is proper to say that Joseph Cook Justin D, Fulton remain with us t entirely destitute of philosopl man can understand.—Hartford We that Post. Brow not stra the congre is very absent-minded, and it is that he should do it, but it mad gation laugh to hear him when he laid a quarter on the c« plate, ‘Tickets, please—one out Transcript. AN iceberg 110 miles long was seen by the steamer Norseman on her way from Live to New York, and perhaps the Arctic re and the North pole, in order to avoi er trouble are comin just made | al wreck. Thi -— Oil City Bliz- GRant iss savors of the den tactic ght to curse him,” he said, ‘ t up in the morning to do Boston Post. ‘What part of this society are you any- how?” Somnadec 1 the be woman of the Ladie meek little preacher who ¥ advice, “Well, I don’t . [ reckon,” responded the little man in a subdued voice.—Cin, Sat. Night. A PHILapeLpHtra woman was poisoned by holding « in her mouth while hunting ge, and one in Chicago was ed while holding a street-car If women must hold anything in their mouths, we recommend them to hold | their tongue.—Philadelphia Sun. A MAN in Galveston, ‘Tex., has been found guilty of two crimes, "The penalty in the e is fifty years in the penitentiary and other death, he is to be hanged April 25th, it is probable that he will the jong impria nment. ‘This should make him feel happ: rr. Herald. int on NAGAN, NA ae , coLuMBIAN _€0, BREWERY and MALT HOUSE 450 W. 26th Street, BETWEEN MNTH & TENTH AY NEW YORK. JAMES FLANAGAN, ) JOSEPH 0. NAY, avacay. | Voltaic ‘Bat ‘Con Marshall, Mich, comicbooks.com