Judge — March 22, 1884 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. Tt is al can only be b a time, if the a t to recognize i retions yrou t, for bury- ether for the result The breach in ing the hatchet and working te But this will difficult of accomplishment. common good. be a the party has been widenin till it almost looks as if nothing short of a crushing defeat would bring All of which the 1 to notice and year after yea THE JUDGE. 324, 326 and 328 Republic to their senses. have not faile Democrats pprehend, and ‘earl St in the divisions and disse NEW YORK. (Franklin Square.) sions of their of ponents lie their strongest hopes of eventual PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK, success. Few Democrats know much Latin, but every le: the weight and value of the advice: et impera! ler in the party is familiar with Divide One copy One copy, s1x months One copy, for 13 weeks terest, OLEOMARGARINE. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY nate. Wavecaot pn Hee Mouk At last we have g = not that we prefer oleoma EUROFPAN AGENTS yarn at Address garine to butter as an article of diet, but it is incomparably There it which comm easier to write abou an unetu- Is itself fa- vorably to any one fond of flowing peric NOTICE. ousness about Contrib pete valuation send they will ben rs must put ject to a g anted as gratuitoas and addr the articles they Ives fix should be tnelowed hor is it by any me: nt strength, good butter. ns destitute of strength for retarn postage, with 1. if writers wlah to —natural inhe: which is a regain thelr declined art ° _ | strang: CORRESPONDENTS. EP ComaesrOsDENT! WILL FURASE TAKE NOTICE THAT THEY sexp Mea To Tes orice AY THEIR OW RINK. WHERE ATANTS WE WILL RETCRY TRINCTIONS wit er esides, oleomar- garine is comparatively a new subject, and has not been written to death. Butter has. From its most incipient , in which it tee esce creo aarrex se ran seros | is celebrated by such ballads as “ the pretty ita ga girl milking her cow,” down to the WHERE 4 Paice sere: | when Bunthorne eats it in Patience’s dairy id he eat it with a spoon or for a spoon) butter has been a | favorite theme for philosophers and poets. Oleomargarine has not. | with a tablespoon (query, « A RESTIVE TEAM. Waorven succeeds in driving the Repub lican team to victory this year will have proved himself 4 ‘There is no poetry ‘ connected with oleomargarine, nor philoso- phy either, save the philosophy that enables to eat it uncomplainingly till you are Jehu of no mean ability, for a more ill-balanced, impracticable team was never hitched together —Stalwart and | Half-breed, both irreconcilable, each hating the other, and each desiring that impossi- bility, to reach the goal without the other. If the prize were anything less important and momentous than the presidency, it i safe to affirm that no attempt would be made to hitch the two together at all. There is no thoroughbred Half-breed—if we may be excused the contradiction in terms—who would not rather see a Democrat in any minor office than alwart; and every Stalwart firmly believes that Democracy 1s better than half-breeding. Still, at such a time as a presidential election, party claims must be paramount. Both factions of the Republican party are fully aware that they must pull together if they would come in ahead; but how ungracefully and ungra- ciously they consent to work for a common cau In virtue of his office, President Arthur as yet holds the ribbons over the ill- balanced team, but how long he will be able to keep them together is doubtful. A | stronger hand and a clearer head than Ar- thur's might well despair of accomplishing sk. In truth, it is an anxious and | distressing time for all the Republican party | leaders. you rich enough to change your boarding house. Oleomargarine ranks with electri steam, and elevated railroa nd ex-Presi dent Hayes, as one of the great discoveries | of the nineteenth It takes the | place of butter. ‘That is natural enough. | The white man has taken the place of the red man, the steam engine has taken the place of the mules, oleomargarine has taken the place of butter, because they are the stronger. The weaker must yield to the stronger, and one day oleomargarine in its | turn will have to yield its place on our breakfast tables to assafoetida. What is this wonderful substance? The “‘oleo” part of the word is derived from the Latin for ‘‘oil,” and the ‘‘ margarine” part gives a margin for boundless speculations. The margarine means or may mean jellied puppy dog, dead horse, stewed kitten, the refuse of sausage factories tried down to first principles; anything, everything which con- | tains and may be made to yield grease of | any kind. Oleomargarine is like the olio in the bills of variety theatres, and contains a little of everything. We leave it to phil- | ologists to inquire if there be any recondite connection between olio and oleo. ‘The sub- | ject is boundless, endless in its ramifica- century, a such a ta at election ¢ | than if they tions, and being casy to write about is, from ’s standpoint, beautiful. the consumer's stand What magic to be in the words, “pass the butte the write Bat fror that joint. Ah, there used But who will say, ‘pass the olcomargarit ‘To be sure, the modern compound is still dignified by the ancient name, but still some le are conscientious, and refuse to let a uss their lips. say “pass tl t oleomargarine. Apart from th open to the same objection that eve Therefore they do not iter,” and they refuse to it is new im- It throws provement is confronted with, certain number out of employment. To be sure, the cows who are thrown out of busi- by annot combine did weavers against the spinning jenny. rine factories oleomar the against the English But shall cows be allowed to sink into desnetude otest; shall yemory and the dairy a dre as without a] the milkmaid be- Shall the m. be no more romance in the y ure, and never a bull to furnish an episode summer novel? Perish the thought! 1 of United dogs and cats who bewail lost relatives entombed in the butter tub, in the name of the cows and all the that to us int of the who the name vast States cit dwell the poor littl army ens in houses, in the name of milkmaids and rusticity romance ndeared 1 has since childhood, we protest against oleomar- gari Let us protect our butter along with our other fee Oleomar- x it; keep . Let the horny-handed farmer rise up in his might > industries. " things even; give butter a chanc garine is too strong for it, and, shaking the hayseed from his hair, demand _ pre for his cows and his iry. Let the tax on oleomargarine be a unding plank in the platform of both parties. ection OUR NON-VOTING CLASS. uk ladies—God bless theom—form such a very large and very important section of our population that it seems cruel to ignore them ay. But, sooth to say, the beau sere rules much more effectually and directly marched up to the ballot box and cast their votes like other sovereign They rule by the eye, by the tone, by the look; they direct the me and what more can the dear creatures want? As a rule, too, mere abstract questions of politics can have little interest for them. Few of them kuow the subtle shades of distinction that separate a stalwart from a half-breed, and still fewer of them pause to inquire into a lover's politics when the proper swain comes to woo. To be sure, there is one great question before the people to-day— a pivotal one for both parties—in which the ladies may be supposed to take a natural and absorbing interest, and that is the question of tariff reform. ‘Tariff reform would deal with the import duties, and any modification of the import duties would have a direct citizens, who vote; comicbooks.com