Judge — March 8, 1884 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Queen who Said Zounds. Livino ina pretty little cotta West End is an intelligent English woman who at one time lived in the presence of roy- alty. To a reporter she said the other day: “ My father wasa gardener at Windsor Castle, and when T was about sixteen—that’s eleven years ago—I was neral utility e in the Were you in y of the Queen? "Yes, quite often. servants she never saw me all around the c than any of the others. * Did the Queen ev en, like the ladies of lesser d Pare posed to de “ Of cours too. Why, I've seen rolling-pin out of tl : and roll a piece of piccrust out till it w the right thickness.” So the Queen eats pie, does shi “Tve seen her n pie and I've seen her eat her share of one appetite and a hurt her ny way thrown in the com- You sec but of the s took som! sup- and she enjoyed it, ke the hands just od digestion and pic never she loves roasted apples, is it es, I've seen her take in her own hands adish of ni browned apples and carry them to her room to eat at leisu “When she used to be in the kitehen did m interested in the work?” ery much. Why, one day she came in ed in a plain black dress, with big white apron on and she made a fixed up a whole lot of other dishe i up her slee nd went hei s if she wa week and he and lodging for it. She was always nice and kind tous, too, and talked just like some American ladies talk and not at all like some others talk when they ad.” ey heard her say *Zounds’ sometimes when she put her fingers on the stove or something like that."—Cincin- nati News-Journal. Left All Around. FB was a str r from down the river hunting along the wharves yesterday in search of the office of a certain ste by and by he came acrossa man, who replied: “Why, sir, that line went out of existence last fall. All gone, ch “Yes, sir. Tur No boats, no_ offi no “Well, that’s a mean trick to play on a man, and I don’t care who hears me I'm a fisherman from down below.” “*T gee.” “Last fall one of the boats of that line acked into my skiff and smashed it to pieces nd drowned my old woman, **'Too bad.”” “You bet it was. The to settle, and I was offered a free the line for life, or $25 in cash. The old woman was worth more’n that, but IT didn’t want a lawsuit, and so I took the thought it would be kind 0’ nice to and down the river whenever I. ws demanding ticket left.” you're born, Left ona good skiff, left on a wife who'd catch more b than any two men in Detroit, left on a pass from Detroit to Malden, good for life.”—Detroit Free Press. She has a good | ay so. | THE JUDGE. A Question in Arithmetic. “ Witat are you do asked one of the | spectators. “Why, D've drawed 8600 from the and we are counting it over to see if right.” ** And isn’t it? , Tcounted fast and made $610, ‘Then the old woman counted it and made $590. ‘Then I counted and made $620, and now she’s handled the pile and there ; “And [’m right,” said the woman, * “T don’t believe i he replied. ** You never went to skule a day your life, and what do you know about counting? | And when did you go to skule?” she | smanded. “If thar’s $600 in that | T'll cat every dollar of it!” | “TL count it for you, spectators, and in about five announced that th $600, | A second was asked to count | made the total the same. | “That's all right,” said the old m; stuffed the ‘* wad” into his over > Up. I don't hotly said one of the minutes he sum total was an even it, and he as he t and ndded the nd find we know about th cn we git home he commanded. ve both of us ma You come along!” “Don’t vou see that we | 7 how of our ignorance? I'm thinkin’ of runnin’ fur the legislatur’, and you are a boss | of two sewin’ socictic nd here we've went and let on that we don’t know ‘nuff tocount up a drove 0” he nd make tails tally with Detroit Free Press, The Suitor Suited. id an, entering a ice in wh ed an old gentle- “Tam a stranger to you, th quainted with yourdaughiter. But before | demanding her hand in ma T would | like you a few questions. | “Certainly, s rocee | | young 0 ch was sea “Tow mich are y “Well, [ should say, t would cover three million dol respectable amount. How is it inve “United Stat “Ah, ye amount goes to y ery cent of it. right. Well, [ have 1 | little conversation with the youn, to onr forthcoming ‘marria entire ur death 7” | some | lady in | and | ad better mention the to you, “You are very kind,” replied the old gen- tleman, meekly. ** Would it be presump- | tuous on my part if I were to ask you who re?” ; You ne ainly, sir. posses undoubtes Tam that right, of the directors of Club and will drive ‘The old man struggled with his emotions a moment, and then, ina broken voice, | replied: * She is yours, my dear sir; she is yours.” —Philadelphia Call. “Papa, what is meant by an anomaly?” “An anomaly, my son,” replied the father, “isa man who shi as bill without | referring to the company asa thief.”—Phila- | delphia Call, that r know? “Ives “eR and falli yester “Don cigarett don’t vo 7 ha “Don Apollina ey “ Sorr: do Then they both smiled at a couple nd trip) girl them, tal in aL carame out ne: how did you make it with tcold day, Gu t you ah, Choll and it was don’t you know, low n I called zero n ’t mention it, Gus. , ol fel’ tocalm my shatt nu know, . ven’t a one, old boy “t ment it, let ris straight.” lon, lend me a dime? vy, me hoy, but I’m bwoke; , don’t vou know, , Cholly? Well me boy, it’s deuced hahd win on the on’t you know, deuced hi; Give me a hd nerves, take pretty ped along down the of the last reception and kee the curbstone when they passe 1 shop.—Merchant Traveler. Ikin Wanted to be Counted In. “Oh! connecte MeFlyny ether you thin “Wh should think you would glory in th the powe I think it mu dowith 1 to ye one evening be pwspape Quilldriver, as they sat :*but why do el freedom, .and all the privile kita y, it has so many advant r, the libert of the pr “Certa your en! | are not a “Thi for a wor delightec Oh! Scott! nly I thusiasm ¢ 1 journalis| ink so, too; but you know it is hard man to get recognition. I should be V to feel that the press embraced Ivs a pity, with ull the subject, that you you would, would you? G wait till I turn down’ the Texas Siftings. PA racuse beside a on his w “Well § for a little tl c shook hi: “* Nin’ an’t “TL do * Least ard th jngge Drakes Rati New Y for dupli¢ Where They Went. rMweér boarded a Central train » the other day, and took his seat handsomely uniformed army officer y to his post at Governor's Island, commenced the officer, keen “How are the potato bugs od crop ld man eyed s head sadly. "tL no more potato. bug find a inseet in York St y worms is gone. replied the officer with a 8 ome of them?” mnt know,” sighed the old ay, I don’t kne him a moment and said he. ¢ nowhere, man, vy for sure, but I {J many on ’em have been ting their p ounts, "— Traveler's Magazin k ambiguous is the report of the rk milk market—that it is flooded. — Boston Transcript. THe re eport that Miss Terry has four liv- husbands isa mean, miserable, despicable nder gossip. Call. ted by the’ venomed ‘tongues of She has’ only three.—Philadelphia comicbooks.com