Judge — March 8, 1884 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

eum waa ee el er ee oY THE JUDGE. ve can’t take it in,” said Eliza in a “if it was a baby we should :or if it was a corpse it would have ca wet nurse, or be reared on bottle.” for I knew “What shail id f, tremblin, a bottle. “Such a thing never happened marr said Eliza, sobbin, ‘Or aunt Martha,” wailed [. “We shall be talked about “Te will be put in the papers + We may have to go to the poli “Couldn't we + And never take it in, Eliza “No, you Tabitha; or let ust So we stole softly down very cautiously opened th little bit in the world, and peep there we saw the (hing: how like it looked, and how stil “Pat down the candle, me,” [ whispered. Eliza put it down. and we pulled in—— 1 t with our clean clothes from the wash! ! Dreaming. Wuo is it that lives who < not love to indulge in day-dreams—that cou: Ike maid in old Noah Webster's spelling not without followers. disciples who turn than one while tions, and, aso snot, spill all the Be that as it may, it is just delightful to sit and dream that vou ar rayed, among the y envy of all. htful envy w many subjects b hefore thee in all else. Who is it that would not prefer a bushel of envy rather than a teaspoonful of sympathy? “T have always een a dreamer. How often in childhood stood before a candy shop, and of the day when I should own one, and eat and eat. turity dawned upon me the stor h their beautiful gay col- ored goods, took my fancy, and I dreamed h toilets that would take the eye the boys. Later on in life the banking house, with a dozen safes full of money, would start my brain agoing, and I would stand hours and hours on the outside that poverty could i ing of wealth which would brin ion, pomp and splendor; and if that e milkmaid could have excelled me in nations I should like to have er, for we are kindred spirits, | 'T not so much pleasure to be derived from the dreams of night. One seldoi an dream that is pleasant to recall. ‘The fancy in sleep seems to be more under the domin- ion of dark and evil done will in do any A young gentleman, one, related a dream tom He said amed that he died, and was borne by royal escorts into the lower regions. Ie at the gate by King Beelzebub, who in & most majestic manne} ght to show him round and introduce him to his bon ton. The king was most affable and kind, and tuld him that it was his desi young foreigner from the earth should be shown all the grand, noble and great gifts of Ardent, enthusiastic in more ways O, envy I threw the door open, | WDEK § Ld ee PLUN gE DANA AND THE OLD DEMOCRATIC COAT. “ Dowt be afraid to wear the coat, gentlemen, he young man looked around and saw 4 comrade, and inquired if that was Bill King. ‘The devil on beholding called for a. se river to unscrew with, so that King might take pos- ion of the lower regions, for he was the lest devil of the two; and when the yer awoke he found himself for the cork-screw, ‘That was from force of habit, he said: but his visit to Hades has given him a much better opinion of the Il gentle 1 before “Lo give the devil. hi my frie says, “he treated me very politely.” Whata New Yorker Likes. A New Yorker lik For in that To talk largely about art, and to have the worst statues and monuments that ever dis graced a metropolis. Vo inveigh inst the grinding tyranies practised upon needle-women and shop-girls, and yet to patronize the shops where cheap shi d clothes are sold. ‘To purchase a bargain, no matter whether he is in want of it or not. ‘To reward native talent, with which view ench plays, Ger- id to for- cigners in exchange for the brass they bring him. . To talk sneeringly and all tuft-hunters, and yet next to running after a Lord, nothi elights him more than to be seen in the company of one. ‘To brag about his politeness, and yet to scamper after and to crowd around an actre: whenever there is an opportunity of staring at her, ‘To boast of his cleanliness, and to have the dirtiest streets in the world. variety of things. ance, nothing is more to his liking ainst tufi-hunting I rlean him all up for yor. To inveigh against bad legislation, and to refrain in many instances from exercising the franchise he pays so dearly for. ‘To plunge into ruptures about. the legiti- mate dri id leave it any night to run after a ballet dancer, a jumping d prize elephant. To sw about his tremendous love of comfort, and to ride in the most uncomforta- ble omnibuses, the dirtiest cabs, and shakiest railways in the world, and to pay the highest prices for the poore tions. And lastly, to find fault’ with everything and everybody, yet do nothing to benetit hin self or others, B. T. P. uccomoda- Par excellence pod father, Ir is a cold day for the young man wh ice cream forms on his little girl’s tongui “Titat’s a case of booty and beauty ”. the lover said while caught kissing his gi and being kicked by the old man, ALL our institutions are but copies of the past. Why, even our national holiday is hot origit When Moses and the children of Israel went out into the wilderness, they celebrated ‘the glorious forth.” “Wiat’s tea this morning?” asked Frink too steep it’s to steep, you wouldn't roast tea, would you?” A contemporary heads an article ‘ Ifow 2?” Getting pretty well now, thank you It is so we can sit down, by being cautious, and it doesn’t really bother us any more | We pricked it yesterday, comicbooks.com