Judge — February 2, 1884 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

FAMILY FINANCIE Frienp. Harry Faruen or Froox—** Singular Editorial Valedictory. The following » ing specimen of an well to his reade of those literatu wi is rather an American edit and. is attributed to rural broad-backed pack nt west amus- fare- «The undersigned retires as gracefully as possible from the editorial chair, which he has endeavored to fill during the major part of half a life-time—with the solid conviction (which no amount of argument can dissi- pate) that all is vanity. From the unfor- tunate hour he started the paper, down along through a | f nd privations to t] 1 lie upon every given sub; to the latest method of jot remember ever 6 tell half a whole truth, without diminishi subscription list or being the » threatening. lette with the ad, and a nes ut the foot of ¢ circumstances of ‘tribolation and r to life and and having « thorough contempt for If and his twe p and ten re now retires—to seek ‘fresh fi pastures new,” and recruit, badly-shatt 1 ce nory of that disappointed (and, doubtle tarved) editor should be De Mortuis, ete. coffin, skull. und ¢ ‘Tur reason why Oscar Wilde had his hair cut is, he as about to marry, and he will not allow an_such an opportunity , to get the better of sipext Arrnen had thirty of the lent ist him in receiving at the White House So much for being a widow Had he he would have had probably but one tant, which all married men know isn’t half so jolly. “How do yon manage ta support tcelee children?” By having their wages paid over to me.” Le Mari chez Lui. Qvier, child! Tm n dust at Why, it’s awake cursing. Tstop home and mind the baby; Now, ‘sat the Carnival Dancing with O'Mea Theatres and balls for her— ucious me! She goes to dozens; And O'Mear’s alw Lean't aay'I care Wish I Stroll down te If Vac One ¢ —hush, you bratt Va stand it better, Oh, this infant! Can't you slept It's an awful shame of Clara Leavin While the house to keep e's Mirting with OY s she dressed ? With a wealth of 3 s the bi Perk: golden tre T pay n tell her dresses.) Or a sylph she glides wr The rapt crowds Stil L wish—oh, hold your t She were rather more dom ~ Baby Where th does Clara keep That mysteric is told us by t Blowed if T think C Ever quite be brought to know it M1 P've stood! — ‘ou, friend O'Meara.” Off’ so soon? Stop and cha Well, good night; you're tired maybe; Here is—oh, you've got your bat — ¥ go with you; pry vr, Baby. ama | I was too quick for Diary of Patrick O'Callahan, ductor. Con- Nothing of the laste im- portance consairning s happened for siviril s. Whilst the shkating the cairs was crowded wid the boys gurruls, but its very little throuble'the loikes of thim is it to the condhuether, howsomivir much th lishturb the comfort of the other passengers wid their giggling and their flirthing. This mornin w wid her curls r ypes aboard a trod on the takin oop two sates ina Musha, but didn’t he howl, “Condhuethor, why in thunder don’t y ave thimsilve January 18th oung highflyers pout her sonsy of pr cious goodne at to shtep son z the gurrul to him ewhere, If your purse is yez might own a private f your own, Thin the passengers laughed among thim- silves, and the owld haythen got oop an made pt to pul the bell shtrap, but him and shtopped him befoar he cud ry out his rious de Begorra, I’ve lairned by sharp expay= ce to protict_ me roight ay when anybody but mesilf gets a ¢ at the cair bell. his day will be a mimor- “Callahan, for it has a black eye, an its » for repairs for a given me as mesilf “Il be coople o” days On wan of m pp town thare came on board a lady wid rosy chakes a ladir little gurral by the hand. She found a sate and tuk the kid on her me foive cints for the fare. is the choild?” sez I years,” sez she. ** Foive cints for the kid,” sez I, “TI give you foive ints, “when yez pervides her wid a here's plenty of sates, and its foive cints 1 wants fur the choild; thim is the rules.” Thin her chakes got re “if there’s plinty of & foind em. /’m not the wv pasple more oop. business, not mine.” sex she, ler, and 8 she, its fur you to in to make the he condhucthors’ ” sez she. The impartanance of the eraythur was past belaivin’, an’ sez I, “fw wants is foive cints, an’ no moar worruds about it. “Fwat J want, a sate for this little gurrul, z wants an ¢ fair, why doan’t yez charge fur the ba clothes that woman at the end of the has wid her. She takes oop moar room than ez, she, n’ if The com- four, and there no price whaloiniver, fara basket; s0 pay oop Wid that she handed ont the exth and a mau on the other soide oop, an’ sez, “why doan’t yez give choild a sate. “Oh, moind yer own. busines “T've heerd enough about the brat na: Bo Yet know who yex talkin’ to?” sez ne. “ Yes,” sez I, “I’m shpakin’ to me infay- that sez I, Wid that he rose, an’ befoar I’d toime to collect me sinses, he dealt me a blow be- twane me two eyes that bloinded me so I comicbooks.com