Judge — January 12, 1884 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. A 7 aca ee | of her millionaire father, so far fascinated | mother had all simultaneously fainted; while his susceptible lo was the ¢ olisequel and singly lett. iship that an elopement lutea was sadly y have drawn some consolation when it eked out that his lord: ship was formerly a cymbal banger in the Salvation Army, and that his estate con- sisted of a celluloid collar, ‘This is only one of the many matrimonial adventures of our heroine. She had annually tried cach of the popular summer resorts and each time she had got severely left, It w behooved her as a last resort to search in pastures new. By the advice of her ma che tried the effect of a**tower to Yurrup for her health.” Some people were base enough to hint that the ** tower” was but another name for a sojourn with maternal relatives among Libernie bogs; this rumor reaching the maternal was flatly de- nied, and she gave people to understand that her daughter was, to use her own words “travellin’ wid t whatever that might mean, Eventually the intel ence was cabled of urn of Galatea from * Yurrup,” and litown was med that she would return to her native land the wife of an Italian count. No one at first believed it; but all were anxious to behold this Italian count. On the lit of the arrival of the idul pair a ML reception tendered by the De Lannigans, to which elite of Sh ut were it The auspicious night came; with it the bridal pair and the afore-mentioned elite. The brid. did not look like an italian; but that didn’t signify. His hair was a bright terra-cotta; he was short, stout, and nad a mouth like a triangle. He was assiduously rounded all the night by guardian De Lannigans, who allowed no one to speak to hin, nor did they allow him to speak toany one, though he appeared desirous to do so; but the eagle eye of Mrs. De Lannigan was upon him and she alway quelled this desire by speaking to him ina gutteral foreign language which sounded like anything but Italian. The’ gnests were enraptured with the foreigner, and congratulated atea upon. he h. She, having at last reached the goal of her earthly ambition, expatiated fluently to her female friends upon her husbard’s palace m sunny Italy, ete., ete. All went smoothly until thé guests were about to disperse, when Alderman Terrence McCormack, a distant (#) relative of Mrs. De L., entered. He excused his tardy arrival on the ground that he had been at- tending a Democratic primary. Me did not at first perceive the bridegroom, but when he did so he created a commotion by giving a 17th of March yell,and rushing to him shouted, * Arrah! how dye ye do Micky Mulligan? Whin did ye land? How are all the gosoons in County Donegal?” ete., ete. While in the same voice the Italian count responded: “Arrah! be McCormack Och moi, ph rroom thers, is that yerself, Terry An’ shure I hardly knew ye. foine gintleman ye’ve got since ye left off bog-trottin’ in swate Donne- gal. “I want ye to git me on the perlice force to-morrer, fur oim goin’ to vote the straight Tammany ticket nixt election.” Taking a breath he continued: ‘Shure they have made me sit here all noight with me mouth shut loike a dumb pagan, tellin’ me oi musn’t spake to nowan until I git rid of me brogue; where is me woife Gallertear?” Alas, the shock was too much for her and her six virginial sisters, who with their » cloth of the country,” | was to be | the the guests, indignant at the deception played upon them, left without even asking for a piece of the bride-cake. Gulatea feels tired | ever since, but she is undeniably married. D. DINWIDDY | The Merchant's Daughter. | — ATA KESPECTYUL DISTANCE PROM THOS. CAMPBELL. | One ofice-bound from Murray Hil And not ad, 1 will give a dollar Dill ‘To get across that crossing.” ised to bossing, “Now who are ye would cross between These swamps of snow and water? “Ob, I'm the Boss of Bowling Green, This lady is my daughter; We came down town upon the ‘L,’ My boots are newly polished, And if upon this street we fell Our style would be demolished; ‘The streets are thronged, and I'm afrald Of lookerson and mochi For wh would cheer my bonny maid If she should soil her stockings?" Then out and spoke Policeman ( “Tl go, my boss, I'm ready: coin which fetches me, n grew loud apace, Was shrickin: g vehicles the place Grew dark as they were «peaking; And denser, filthier looked the muck By passing drays splashed nearer, And churned to foam by many a truck, The crossing grew no clearer. “Oh haste thee, haste,” the lady cries, “The crowds around us gather; TM lift my skirts—avert your eyes— And get behind my father.” They've left u pavement like an o0ze— A muddy street before them, And high above their overshoes The slush is closing o'er them. Yet on they stride with slip and slide, Through mud with The crowds applaud Mirth lost in ut cessation, n either side, Umiration; For, still unburt, through sleet and dirt, She moves, and nought can stop her; One lovely arm supports her skirt, | ‘The other grasps the copper. | Come back, come back,” they wildly bl Across the muddy I get a broom and sweep the street, You'll ruin those new garters! waters— | ow Too lute; in vain; with one long stride They land, the street is forded; Policeman Weill hy ows and leaves their side; pe he feels rewarded. 0. senor, Tue: strikers in the silk ribbon weavers—wh on astrike for ably return to the factory, as the company are ** loth” to acceed to their demand for an increase of w ploy of Loth & C have arready be n ConLans axp Currs.—One of the finest making an arrest. N. B. They are rarely laundried “Troy style.” and, though some- times starched, are seldom wrang out. They are drummed ‘out sometimes, but scarcely often enough. some weeks—will not prob- | suitable tenant has been found for our house, the passage for our E trip has been secured, and 1 fi heartily i that the first agony is over, 1 han’t breathe freely though till I find my- self on board the steamer, safely out at s | then I'll begin to believe in my tune once more, and just as soon us I get | quietly over on the other side of the At- lantic, Il make my preparations to remain there, whatever Mr. Heraclitus Penny- feather may decide todo. If he could only | be induced to come back and leave me therc, its all I ask. To establish one’s self ulone in Paris, with plenty of money, is about us agreeable and fashionable a way of arranging a separation | from one’s worscr s I can think of, and I know lots of American ladies that happen to prefer Paris without a husband to ew York with one. I couldn't get along without the money though, and I don’t see how I'd manage to get it if Heraclitus got mad. I must try and get him to leave me without bei vwith me. Pe health will fail. If T could only get Fanny Davenport's receipt for growing thin I de clare fa make use of it, were it ever disagreeable a dose. For a wonder, Heraclitus paid the Chri: mas bills without a murmur, and when I proposed giving a dinner the last thing be- fore we left the house, he didn’t say a word against it. I could see he didn’t’ enthus much over the idea, but I didn’t expect hi conduct would be quite as d ful as it w one am my good for- ent he end-off,”” The night before the entertain out to what he culled a ‘*st and came home in a beautiful state of mind and body about four a. ou. Of course, he was sick all day, and when the guests began to arrive, he was in an extremely interesting condition to receive company, I gave him enongh ammonia to float a ship, without producing any visible effect; but Vd opened upon him the vials of my wi had made him swallow an enormous de. pophosphytes, he began to brace uy As it turned out, I was awfully glad t I'd given the order for the dinner rer, for I had my hands so full looking fter my derelict spouse that I positively was unable to attend to anything else. Wi the bill for the performance was handed in he attempted to growl, but I informed him that he’d better say as little as possible. The wear and tear on my nerves by his | ridiculous conduct gave me éne of my wors | sick headaches, and I couldn't express my feelings, as under ordinary circumstances T should like to have done; but I managed to make him simmer down and pay the bill after which I got into the carriage and drove comicbooks.com