Judge — December 22, 1883 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Dinah had inte nded to have turkey with cranberry sauce, d the usual vegetables. 1h is bring the things from the refri nd L must say they formed a most appalling ‘The laundress said she could. fix and T told her to go ahead and and Ewas mighty glad I didn’t have anything todo with it, for when we eame eat it, it was not only underdone but she had left something, Heraclitus called the crop, inside it, and when he cut into it with his knife great kernels of corn came falling out into the platter. Heraclitus looked “mad and disgusted, bat when I innocently in- quired if | vose she'd stuffed the | uimal with . he burst out laugh- ing at what he politely called my want of eral knowledge. ‘Phe lobster s better; in fact that and the ice cream was about all there was on the table that was fit to eat. Marie makes a delicious mayonnais and [ knew that the ht to be boiled alive, but he wrigg » that Thad torun ve kitchen when they put him Marie managed to get the | out of the shell and fix the thing up nice dish while Such Lv a mess ats it turned ilk must have been sour, I divided into little bits, and the butter wouldn't stay where [put it, but kept floating around on the top of the milk, al gh I followed Mrs. B.'s explicit diree- Ive about made up my mind that ‘ook books n invention of the arch ene- my, made to delude imnocent and unsus} in females into the belief that they can without previous knowledge on the tions. cook. what Heraclitus called that night, he lope, evidently we mu to live on lobster sa meals antil Dinah gets well He couldn't have thought of anything that would have pleased me better than to go out to our meals, had it not been for little Kath- leon; so 1 said, ** That's all very well, but what shall we do with the servatits and the | my alle said t make up our mind ) out to our a puzzle for him, and me too; so | mud better go around and see sys about went, und of course she in- | nd th the next day which was Sunday, and we left the servants to look out for themsely Heraclitus said *+if they couldn't cook for themse they'd better starve,” and for once [ quite agreed with him; but he went off and got ana for poor old Dinah.” At first [was awfully worried about her, and was afraid she v going to die, but doctor says he'll pull her thr One of my friends said, she won- dered we didu't send her off to a hospital, but Ltold her Heraclitus wouldn't think of sch a thing. She took care of me when I was a baby and had always been a trusty, faithful servant, and he said she should the best of care and attention as long live As for me, I wouldn't have an backed up in front of my de neighbors staring at it fo Since Sunday, we've had a woman in by iy to cook, and we just manage to exist. burnt my hand trying to make the soup, and’ T've ruined fir nails th lve always kept so nicely manicured. Me clitus says he's glad of it, for they always looked like claws, but I'm getting used to his unsympathetic speeches.” I'm trying to | get him an wsthetic ssing gown for | Of course ly | vited us arc she mbul, » with all the | kindly to the Paix, | wonder if in this counthry Christmas, and that was what [ commenced the embroidery for: but if Dinah don’t get well pretty soon ill never be finished. We only went to the opera once last week, bat To manayed ty make use of the coupe at least once w day. I keeping an argus eye on Patrick, and vas Feateh him wrong he'll go. T must say, however, that so far his behavior has been most exemplary. If he didn’t look so like fury, Vd keep him. [wonder if he couldn't be beatified a little, [should think Maric could induce him to pat on a little more a Christ- Penelope to have { » the mas tree for K and 1 suppe blessed child will have heaps of ats. I ke » Heraclitus that I'd lik he doesn’t scem to tackle idea. Me groaned when the bill for keeping the horse and coupe came in from the livery stable, but I] don’t see as that makes much difference; he'd groan at any bill. [ believe, even an undertaker He hasn't been out late since the night of the dinner party, but it’s about time for him to have one of his periodical sprees, and F'm on the gui vire. He usually champagne afte piano, laces himself with poker and he's finished paying the bills that arrive after the first of the mouth, and December will probably not prove an exception to the general rule. [only hope, when the time 4 TE manage to get enough out ef him to buy some Christmas presents, for I've already spent my monthly wanee, and more Oh, « me, 1 wonder if 1 shall always be the same impe- cunious PENELOPE PENNYPEATHER, Is this cheerful winter weather, Let us take a walk t Throngh the thoroughfares, still ancle deep With slush, slush, slush. ‘Thon can’st take my At the crossit And we'll dodg With ar arm, my dearest, which thou fearest, the dashing s , Tush, rush, day was with this British that rehed to the Tue turnout ont E sation rather larger than that of 1 difference: Then it was the took up their knay tune of ** Yankee Dood! Yankees. year it is the | |am, dig wid picks like that He and She. Hr was « languid, harmless dude She was a dudess fair, He had an eve-g He had « She hi He of his She of her s vmered s ne pu alskin smu He in the Brunswick window stood, She with her pug went by. He struck a dress-plate attitude, She heaved a tw nts: He was mashed by the canine pug, She by his hammered cane, Now they live ina French flat snug, And both of the heir ae vain. Mrs. Squizzle on the Great Evacuation. Ir New York was as nasty, and wet muddy on the 26th of was on the 26th of th the Bi and ovembe it year, T don't wonder and) went heme. in needn't take any affair, 'm think one any way. credit to thenselve in th in’: ness they'd have romyself, tired up with Ltook a thinkin’ I'd see opportunity offere I felt sorry that ‘one Mar uri couldn't out and join the ion, but 1 co: think of th in up tu chance of damid- <° that she’s been a lyin’ in bed for for the st three weeks. he was mitily disappointed, too; for she could have President, and Grant and Ben Bat 1 the other notorious nerals whe have ed in ties for the last forty years stra t. 1 told her I ) the maneuver and T left hey dent to thac she took it toh: they'd throu, ain the first pleasant dav writin’ a petition to the P effec! T must say I never got i mannerly a krowd : first one pushed mo one way, then a perliceman on the otf side took tne by the arm, and sez he, * you musn’t stand here.” o quite so m- hefor comicbooks.com