Judge, 1883-12-15 · page 13 of 16
Judge — December 15, 1883 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* contains two main satirical pieces: **"A Big Game"** is a humorous dialogue between a sporting editor and a small gentleman claiming to be captain of a baseball team called the "Invincibles." The joke rests on the gentleman's increasingly implausible account of a game where his team scored enormous runs (the editor mentions "twenty runs"). The satire mocks both boastful sports talk and credulous journalists who uncritically report exaggerated athletic claims—a timeless target of sports humor. **"The Station Clock"** ridicules railroad inefficiency. A passenger complains about an obviously wrong clock at the ticket office. The ticket agent defends keeping it deliberately inaccurate because it amuses the superintendent and confuses impatient travelers into thinking they've missed their trains. The satire critiques bureaucratic absurdity and corporate indifference to customer inconvenience. Both pieces exemplify *Judge*'s typical late-19th-century approach: satirizing American social institutions (sports, railroads) through exaggerated dialogue that exposes human folly.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A Big Game. > th das ne editor, and ttle gentleman, sportin away,” § nut vf into the What < your tre ked th p from a spect of the purty, ing his lordly t ed th key Club e at Tittle gent captain of skins jon the ra Invineibles.” removing his ting Sst the st like the : man, De “Weg pardon.” said the you the eaptain of? wt battery ora abitof said ting editor, “but what a 1 itisali “x am the eat renowned oat amped r tell veu halls. T tell vou it was Ix e went tothe bat and 1 what? ou ted the ouple of i every tim You shou ozen OF So. e meant Timade five home runs [n't yon we worth, At the f were both play- don't vou arth inning I the sporting edite t playi id the lit- chief and mopping h “Well E should At the fifth roand, I should seve score up to,1 . youn, the ne TUNS uy id the ume gat We we ind we Nin't it hadn’t bee yen at wo made by o! Me wmistake the first base started given | t he should do, Vand other finally conel wo bases. other ,and th “T should “Well, we were the last at the bat, and 1 we commenced the ninth inning we 293 to the Unconks 389; but we went in to win on that last inning. | 1 canght up the bat, and sent a ball clean over five blocks de wag_ mea t settled it.” said the sporting h to pat say wh ‘00K s silk handker- | THE JUDGE. of he Ishould t itor. we kept on maki tilit grew too « we let up, the L847 and 4 laps: Une ec omen ss to the it was a daisy yan te vive usa ra Oh, sure.” ne picked up his visitor. — 1 hat d much, ded the day nk a tid the sport- we home rans un rk to see the b , and then Invincibles, at Oh, T tell want y ling ¢ The Station Clock. Ilr: st atthe ticket winde rollin y old-fashioned leatly a-dozen impatient mens driven to slowly un- wallet, wh behind him, ting of the Miter he vot Lif of wallet unrolled he and sud to the iness by the gateman calling their t yard and a 1 1 ly stopped about ticket stooping down ind h Well, what do ye have it stuck up there for. th slinky art estidden ela Pain’t union what we’ lirect t Well, hurriedly ddainy t Won't tl nis wallet, “IL re rt vou replied lers. ‘1 around upall t n Ive Twill? the a hey pay ery morn. and no two company’ man $85 a month to ¢ but seller | senger gasped twice or thrice | could not say anything. went on: “It's the fond of fan, en The ticke . He is does him 1 and he and then It him jaw finds his train has been gone two hours. saves him the exper “Which way is t er asked in clock wror spairi cen replied — the he fun, not to let e building know an about the time. All that 1 that i ety minutes wrong, one way or the a rush n who got he ean When on window he said, i bought his ticket + pse' In about two minut restfallen and meek, the end of the line. more he walked to tl named his station a sane man: “What ma W you talk to me like a liar?” ons li 1 Burling- ’ made you fod answered the ton Hawkeye. A young lawyer of this city, who has a girl in Warren, and in Corry, and another in Meadville, may be said t0 be al- v conducting a cirenit ecourt,—Oil City Derrick. . Mus. Sioppy says she has j new African for her buby.—Zo cript. t bought a om Trans- A CHRISTMA Crash! Dash! ht Dash! 1s through the crowded street, Mid clattering hoofs and hurrying feet Stop hits! Stop him! Oho! Hey! Hey! A spirited horse is runnin opi Smash! A ery reson and t horrible ni reat dist And try the The runaway’s v Oe, with a foram and lo! he Never had he been the least af Jen disaster, nor ever delicate wife should lose his life. in the house that ou bright; ki 1 light; her of infants small Is left a widow, with nothing at all Tur oTuen, with badly broken bones, y dashed ¢ st They carry him hom to bed, And th avely shukes his head As “My friend, it’s a narrow escape; rribly battered shape Lhope we'll be able tf pull you throug! ‘or PI draw my twe A Meteat Accipest What a plea Ian’ it fi Cunaststas Day spread table 1 0 was stashed is happily able his Fully recoverc rs a week. rey's mine— tt the w pkful heart, Of the marvelous skill of the rt But better than surgeon or medicine-chest, f than all, and by far the best— ays he will always thankfully speak 1 welcome twenty-five dollars a week — if he had lost his lif 1 Dollars assured to his w By the United States Mutual Accident Association, ‘Three hundred and twenty, Broudway, N. Y. JAMES KR. PITCHER. “ WEAK AND UNDEVELOPED PARTS OF THE HUMAN BODY EVELOPED & STRENGTH. PNED, run io oft but do yer think I can New ¥ inquired a Nath'l-Winkle-looking got-up Englishman of an American fellow nger on the steamship. Buffalo in New York! Cer- tainly; only about four hundred miles from the city at the end of the Central railroad.” . thank yer: feller down in the atid there wasn’t one ’thin two thousand miles of New Yo pr know, Can’t fool an old sportsman, yer know, with at sort of gammon.”—Boston Commercial | Bulletin, + Bee yer pardon find Buffalo in comicbooks.com