Judge — December 8, 1883 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sn THE USUAL DECEMBER FPANCY.—Onxcr worr tHe Prowner 1s Krxo. Alonzo Busbee: His Life and Im-| pressions. BY WILLIAM OIL. CHAP. XVI “ When’er I take my walks abroad, How many beasts I see, And ‘cos I never speaks to them, ‘They never speaks to me!” I awoke from my stupor to find myself in an open boat, without oar, or compass, or rudder, or a change of socks, The: land in sight, and the conviction forced it- self upon me that the wretch Ram had chartered a tug to tow my uncons form out to sea, then leave me alone in my glory. He had been afraid to murder me outright for fear that—knowing his hostility to me had been universally commented on— were my mangled y found, the crime would be fastened on him; and he knew what fate would be his at the hands of the irate Queen. So he treated me as € stockholder- do their property—he watered me. What a position to be in—out of sight of land in an open boat; half clothed, and no ater or provisions in the cockle-shell of a craft which stood between me and the coral covered bottom of the Indian Ocean. I am sorry to say that the remarks I gave utter- ance to when I realized my helpless dition, and reflected that I had been dri from Madagascar without even being given time to pay my tailor’s bill—good heavens! what would that worthy tradesman think of me? The remarks I gave utterance to would have caused the blush of envy to rise toa cow-boy’s brow, In plainer and le but too well. I cussed both loud and deep, upon the decp. I cussed Ramak my. blistered ne grew Is cussed not wise paused, and then started in again on his re- lations, even unto the third and fourth generation. { cussed his grandmother, his wife’s brother-in-law, his sisters, his cousins | and his aunt: 1 cussed his man servant, | his maid servant, his horse, his ox, his his mule, his dromedary, a within his gate 7 cuss, it took the seething yeast in the bakery. ‘Then I felt better. Then I began to collect my scattered senses and reflect position. ‘To commence with, open boat; open at the top, and—I soon found out—open at the bottom, or partially | . A good deal of the Indian Occan was wallowing around my legs in a manner more | free than agrecable. I looked around for | something to bail it out with. Horror! 3 absolutely nothing—but . shell. ‘The villain Ramakama_ had placed me in | that wretched travestie of a Hoboken dingy with nothing but my self-esteem to keep me | company. If he had left me a piece of soap, I might have washed myself ashore. Oh! how I wished for one of Evarts’ long sen- tences. I could have used it for a bridge, over which I could have walked to dry land. As it was I was helpless, completely in the power of the elemen uuckily, the weather was warm, so I did not feel the want of the clothing, of which I had been deprived by my bitter enemy; but I was hungry and had nothing to eat; thirsty and nothing to drink. I stood up in the boat in the invervals of baling, which I had to do | with an empty bake un that [ found lying under the seat. at wouldn’t I have given for a bean at that moment of hunger? | Alas! there was nothing but the shell left to me; the pearls had disappeared in- cious mouth of some M scan seeker after ‘Culchaw” through the medium of Boston’s most cherished fruit, ‘As I said before, I stood up in the boat and looked eagerly around for some sign of vain expectation; as well look for har- y in the N. Y. Democratic ranks, or honesty in mmany Alderman, ¥ dreary as was my outlook, I did not despair: for something seemed to whisper to me that I was not born to be drowned—I was de for something better t h bait. renewed my baling occupation; and was ready, like Micawber, anything to turn pting, of course, the doat’s bottom. I continued, alternately baling and cuss: | ing, until nature asserted her rights, and I | felinto a deep sleep. How long [slumbered I know not; but when I awoke I found my self—and the boat—resting quietly on a beach of pure white on to which the frail craft had drifted, and the tide ing left it high and dry, “I looked around me, and soon perceived that T was on one of those little islands which stud the Indian > the clams in a Coney Island chowder—a great deal of ocean to very little island—a great deal of chowder to very little clam. Oh! how beautiful island—not the chowder! sand shade, of bril ding in the mi perfume that one could imagine. monkeys, some with long tails, some with short tails, some with no tails to speak of, leaped from bough to bough, and. played base-ball with cocoanuts, and pelted each other with luscious bai mons, peanuts, and roast stnuts. Streams of nellucid water emerged from cracks in the fern-covered rocks, and formed murmuring brooks in which trout, mack halibut, sharks, whale nd fish- balls disported; cows, shee buffaloes, elk, b lio! nb chops, pig's feet, and) animal delicatessen of every varicty’ slaking their thirst. Judge of my surprise when I tasted the fluid to discover that what I took to be running water was a stream of sparkling champagne. It was a veritable Garden of Eden, and needed but an lager to be a paradi y I was the first human to put foot on the island, for the animals evinced no terror at my appearance, but went on calmly with their various occupations, and I tonished to perceive that the utme mony existed in their midet, | T laid down by the lion’s side and elks fraternized like the crats and sore-head Republicans on the of u State election. What would not Barnum give for this happy family, I thought, and then the idea struck me of getting this menag from this uninhabited island asn’ nt in the show it to the land of the fr of impecunious foreigners. Where would the profits of Bernhardt, Langtry. Irving, Patti, or Matthew Arnold be in comparison with the millions | could comicbooks.com