Judge — November 10, 1883 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

that it has been ri and is cold, flat, sha! ha! hat tle reader, tak the moment vou strike a hotel with get through with vour business as 4 r the law and fly the fatal scene. nal to an experi- enced mariner, so the hardened land : to keep away, As a rule, the lords of these stomach crushers good fellows, willing and eag their guests in any way, and it that their tastes, in the n perverted by ind hotel living know how atrociously bad th That's the only way’ | Another extraordinary hotels is, that (1 tain the larg about 8 A. M. fensibly cold thought of in of chilblain: toes; ¢ breath, a your lish-tub, Ballet, traveler 1 ure would seem I, have course of one- it they don’t ir cuisit count for it. about those est_rooms always con- You get into town It is cold, bitterly and inde. cold that is” ter years without a new crop: artitig out upon vour gni Id that icicles fall from your g upon the uppers of leep dents ‘upon the sur- You are shown into a r, acormer room with in its the and in st stoves, ne room on the four windows « room is 6x it is whose ponde would about fit. an apartment 4 atmosphere of the room is so you immediately orde Wretched traveler! Here your misery com- mences, A freeborn American King, of Hibernian ¢ on three dollars aw enters with the Kindli s breath, conversational tend: four sticks of wood Is to illu- minate the interior o} t soon accomplished, and in a few minutes the atmosphere of the room is warm and cheer- ing. Now the stove begins to get in its fir LY sto work. Hotter and hotter! “Pl on the transom—hotter and hottei " Open. first one then all of them. ‘The de- stove laughs ha! ha! Great rt ont upon your brow— glows th end, off g » fire seize Is vou, yy ash out nis of the corridor, and window, then anot mon of bead the of sweat nd fic and. vest upon your vitals, it suf sears your brain, and fi into the Polar re > remainder of iver in pre t- Ing—you es the happy medium in that ‘hotel. But those five minutes of warmth, those four sticks of wood are re- membered in your bill to the tune of 75 cts, The victim of a season of one-night-stand hotels can easily be detected; his eyes bear the hunted, despairing look ‘one i renice to doesn’t a month, pin is detected vest button. N charm. Coney Is- wash his celluloids more tha and betrays no shame when usurping the plaice of ture for him has lost h land woos in vain, and the well-spring of hv happiness is poisoned by the fatal chali held to the lips of his memory by the fairy of the one-night stand hotel! [To be continued in our next, unless the author enters into partnership with J. G. Bennett and Bonanza Mackey, in the new Cable Scheme. } a tip from one who knows; | ickly a8 | to be | fire to be built. | | MINED, Parson Joxes—Well, Tommy, why dew't Tomy —Oh, our Clit keeps me buss Bayville Church Fair. Teee ha by the wic | festivals, of fun poked = at church fairs et id acuus omune. church festival is not all fun; ¢ times itr nbles Donnybrook F most serious and impr one at Bayville, for instance, row that broke up in. It appears that the oyster had been abstracted from the stew by some unauthorized individual, wh himself under the joy the unwon was disturle some secreted umunion table, te delicacy undisturbed, his unhallowed church members. who were justly in- ant that the oyster for which they were in the very act of ‘raMing, should have been ~ ‘They went for him, r, stimulated by his nowr: , showed fi and for awhile Bedlam en r pieces and the remaining turned into weapons The pastor was ; doughnut. Hard and heavy as a lump of lead, this ter- rible missile laid his cheek open to the hone. pe of ice cream exploded with terrific force between two maiden ladies, and the deadly mixture froze their young affections as solid as a silver bri Ily the in- truder was ejected, order prevailed, and a but the ag ishing me, » vigorously plie« articles of f offen: nd defense. Why. 'm first base now, Pansox— "ll, that’s helping the good cause, We alicays want qood bass for our choir, | L bscription was taken up to repla feyster, When harmony was rest | sition united in the followin, ful and well known hymn: delight to bark and bite, urs and lic Then why not awe and ) in their little nest And ‘tis a pleasing sight When members of one Fall out, and bark and bite. How doth our busy brother B. Creep tiptoe from his pew, And hook the oyste retly From out our luscious stew? brother avory dish, ster—sainted fish— Who suffered and was strong. Ir is a significant fact, now-a-days, that our fashionable resfauratenrs demand their fees in ice for eatering to bon-ton par | ties and weddin Mapame De Grea, of Murray Till cir- announces her intention to eschew the wearing of nd diamonds this sea- comicbooks.com