Judge — November 10, 1883 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JACK PROST MAKES A CALL A Lay of the Lazy. I Love the bracing morning breeze, T love the dashing billow: But in the morn, beyond all these, T love my downy pillow. I like the little birds to tly, And sing their morning trill-O, While half asleep [dreaming lie Upon my little pillow, And watch them dane And fight in notes so shrill-O, And see them ylancit the leaves, While nestling on my pillow, beneath th While others seek an appetite For mutton chops or grill-O, In walks abroad at earliest light— I find it on my pillow. If seediness my path invade, And I perehance feel ill-O, Think what it is to have a friend Like my own darling pillow. Why should I, then, exert myself Like convict in a mill-O? The fact is, I'm a lazy elf, And dearly love my pillow. [find it answers me so well, My life runs like a rill-O, I love its potent, dreamy spell— So I'll keep to my pillow. Me be Be ‘THE Van Smitherses will not feceive par- lor calls this winter, owing to the increased price of coal. ‘They purpose going South— of the kitchen range—until Spring. Stncecheap editions of classic music have got afloat, it has become en regle for musical upper-tendom to play expensive copies of Grant’s March, The Sack Waltz, ete. ON THE PRESH-AIE CRANK Alonzo Busbee: His Life and pressions. Im- By WILLIAM GILL OMAP. Nit The smiles Law isa sort of a hocns seinner that while it picks your pocket vinty of itisod more use to the ice of it = Dacit Di of Augus duster of clothin tehel, ket Engl leek, titled him to. in the pe might have car on te the Re the RL R. Depot of Slewvill I—Alonzo Busbee. T had selected Law as my future profes- sion instead of Burgla ed de risk on its follower, while its results were more satisfactory; as one in robbing the pub- joes not lose his position in society. It makes all the difference what instrument you use in breaking into people’s cash boxe: legal opinion isn’t half so dangerou ing as a crowba jeton keys, its effect! crib and left, you know exactly how miuch you have last.” When a lawyer cracks your crib, he don’t leave till he not only has cor- ralled all your present boodle, but holds a lien on your coffin and family lot in the cemetery. any lawyer can be a burglar if he feels like it, but every burglar can't be a lawyer! So I had made u mind to read law with some sharp practi- tioner, if I had to rob every chicken coop in the vicinity to pay my way. Better that ing from a That traveler A look- ora jimmy, or a bunch of it how much more deadly in “After a burglar has cracked your fifty ¢ | lawyer producers should suffer than one lost to the world, | From the R. R. depot I went to the hotel Jandy and. right here let me say a | few words subject of hotels, Tdon't | mean the palatial structures that adorn the rk, Boston, Philadelphi anciseo, and other large . but those that in pily termed by members Ofession, towns in which an or an AlLStar Dramatic finds it impossible to obtain a payit ence for more than one conscentive 1 When stock co theatrical combination first. took root, | two on and hotels became united in sof matrimony, and in the begat numbers of little one- rupidly, mternal roof, ountry, and firmly vd curses of nd the grand hey carried m the ways and habits of their pro- ‘They employed the same brand of alt in the same line of Tam ready to pof coffee (2) 1 swallowed in Ban iferet how branched out from the over the surface of t | established themsely Jow me to Omaha, Net Jhaunt me in the wilds of Atlant have known s | me for some 1 | whom I was pursue nut to introduced in Salem, Mass., | in anid claimed my friendship lin‘ Arizona, | as the sume with soup and mashed po- x will perstade me that the proprietors of the one-night stand hotels not entered inte 4 buy up the he Texas steer therefrom upo steak. AIL the ical compact urts adjacent of foist. the meit sirloin the tea » balle whom Providence pose of its own, | stand-hotel dinin, js wonderfu fare each fairy dre For breakfast. the ry trave le I, ** Ordered, sir?* + No; * Beefsteak, pork chop, xau- This takes place in Hornellsville N.Y. Scene chang Marshall, Tex i ter fairy; with pouti Irdered, : No, what ** Beef- steak, pork ch oh L ord, how long? nthe young ls r some inscrutable pur- placed in the one-nig —in each earava ike. So is the bill of from her pouting lis serie at breakfast table; Enter fairy, with L. (pouting lips). Ore 2 No, what 1 didn’t know by t ** Beefsteak — the sentence—** pork chop I dies to slow music in fifteen min- A marked peculiarity of the one- stand ballet is, that it resen attempt on the part of the weary tr: have his order brought him as he gave it. | The weary traveler asks for coffee; as a nat- ural and’ to-be-looked-for consequence, the fairy deposits a cup of alleged tea in front of him, he politely intimates that his order was coffee, not tea; the bang on the fairy’s forehead fairly quivers with indignation at the insalt, and when the weary traveler does get his mocha, he quickly realizes the fact locality Kankake me old P. dered, sir?” comicbooks.com