Judge — October 20, 1883 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Mr. Chase must have no small opinion of his | vial qualifications if he imagines t nomake himself more attractive than an | and Mr, Leavitt is to be condoled with upon the fact that he did not livea few hun- dred years ago, when be need not have wait- ed for his parishioners’ deaths to order them to be ** burned to a ers) Marriage a la Mode. dt, wilt thon take this form so spare, nwdered face and this frizzled hair, thy wedded wife » her free her dainty f he And ke she And dr As ke her up in t style as thon hast life? * And wilt thou take these stocks and bonds, This brown stone front, these dia To be thy Hand dear? And wilt thon ity hi And o'er bis lordly hom Or be divorced while yet a bride, Or ere a single year?” “Lill.” nunds, rriage ride, preside, ‘Then I pronounce you man and wife; with what I've t ‘The next best man may run away Whenever he a chance can Gnd,” Only a Tramp. Passep the Deacon with words of scorn ‘nce at the maiden ill, forlorn, mp— ramp That nig In a church with steeple The Deacon led with by For a crowd had gathered there A famed D.D., of the loftiest stamp, Preach of the virgin with oil in her lamp— But not a prayer or thought of th pair of wondrous eyes star-ger Saw the gates of T Open—and angels lit her lamp; And her soul went up from the dew and damp To Him who suffered for her—a tramp, reas wane “Such is Fame.” “To ne shot through the lungs and ha your name spelled wrong in the gazett Oh no! That may answer for war time, but in these piping ti “ace we have some- thing much better. For example: A few days ago passing through Boston on home from one of the New England x places, stopped for lunch at the ouse, with her little girl and nurse. attracted the nurse’s attention, and she stared with all her eves at an indi- vidual who hb j vred_ the room. are you look- | yh, mad- There’s a gentleman out of Tue Jupor. ‘The lady turned and beheld—General Butler! of f » girl; Js that most men get now-a-days by banana pecl. In ancient times pple peel. We judge so from Adam’s experience. THE JUDGE. eg oe Fn Ze Le THE COND Deacon Riccetsty—Cynthir Cyxtita (very deaf and imag TS would have you for my wife. ritied)—Have my life!” Oh, ECTICUT MURDER § T would have you for my wife Bh? Lawks'! the man is mad! (Shricks for help, Isty is shown out by her brother. ) They Blew Away. | whose business requires trips every vear t Europe has been much pestered by “his ac quaintances, who on each occasion have some commission or another for him to fill, Mr. Smith, as we will call the atleman, is the soul of good-nature, and he always cheer- fully does his best to oblige his friends in this regard; though everyone knows how te- dious and thankless this filling of a number of commissions is. However, one lady of his acquaintan ded insult to injury—or in- jury to insult, which 2--by giving the commis- lons without the guid pro quo, in the shape articles she wished to ld settle rward said; but, somehow, settling day never came, and Mr ith came to the conel n that she was rubbing it in too thick. The amount was small, to be sure, but that only made the matter more vexatious. Ile concluded that he would rebel; good nature has its limits and he thought the imposition of be- i dled with a lot of troublesome pur- bad enough, without being required U y for them out of his own * he resolved to rebel and did itin this wi Mrs. Brown, as we will call the lady, quested him on the oc t to Europe, to procure a dozen of eambric handkerchie! As usual, no money accom- panied the commission, which Ing Mr. Smith duly booke of others. He sailed, tran his Eu- ropean business, and in due time returned. On their first. meeting, Mrs. Brown, all smiles, inquired: procure, * she * Thope you got my handkerchiefs, Mr. Smith, it is really too bad to put you much troubl vd-nature ed, 1 knew e tion of assent. from Smith pans ment, xiously: ** You did get them, sh got them,” answered Smith, t such an unfortunate Vil tell you how it was, Thave a num der of commissons for ever so many people, ind just before we got into port [th I would sce if [had everything straight and all the’ artic ud pur nd the money I had received to purchase them with, and [set to work to check off my accounts. [laid each ar- ticle down on the deck and put the money I had received to pay for iton it, so that I should have everything under my eye at a nd would you believe’ it, Mrs. wn, a gust of wind came—” nd_blew them all overboard the lady. lent! recident You sec inter- her, it didn’t blow them : that Thad laid the mo on were of course kept steady by its we and I didn’t lose them. [am sorry ve though, that as Thad no money to put on your handkerchiefs they blew away, and are somewhere to the t of Sandy Hook now.” Mrs. Brown has troubled Mr. Smith with no further commission , but the bad don’t— Te good die vo they live to be killed. A LYING age—when a thirty-two-y lady says she is only “sweet sixteen.