Judge — October 13, 1883 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

a TEE oad Es Ss Sa SSS AT A 14 THE JUDGE. The Modern Boy's Seven Ages. Mr. Snakes 's that a man has sev- | enages, but in my opiniona boy hasabout ten of hisown. He begins with his first pair of breeches and astick horse, and climbs up by degrees to toy guns and ‘fin rs and breaking ¢: salves ‘and billy-goa enough guns looking- glass agi and greases his hair, and feels of his downy beard, and then he joins a brass band and toots a horn, and then he reads novels and falls in love and rides a prancing horse and writes perfamed notes to his girl. When his first love kicks him and begins to run with another fellow he drops into tne age of despair, and wants to go to Texas, or somo other remote region, and adly sings: “This world is all a fleeting show. Boys are mighty smart now-a-days. They know as much at ten years as we used to know at twenty, and itis right hard for us to keep ahead of ’em. One of these mode philanthrophists was telling my kinsman the other day how to raise his boy. Never whip him,” said he; ‘ Raise him’on love and and then he appealed ement, ‘And when that boy is about 12 years old,” said I, ‘‘do you 0 and talk to him and if possible persuado im not to whip his didiy. Tell him that it is wrong and unfilial and will injare his reputation in the commanity.” he modern boy is entirely too bigity.— Bill Arp in Atlanta Constitution, Always His His Luck. He boarded the St. Clair River boat yes- terday morning with his wife and five chil- dren, and the far mily were not yet seated when he began: “Now, Sarah, I'll bet you $50 you forgot to hook that wool-shed door “Mercy on mo, but so I did!” sho gasped. “Just as I expected—just exactly; we'll get home and find the house cleaned ont or in ashes, Never mind, though, it would | serve us just right!” The boat had not yet started when ono of the boys who insisted some gymnastics with a chair follto the deck aad set up a | squall. a Broke both arms or I’ma sinner!” shont- | ed the father. ‘I told you he'd do it if wo lot him come along, and now he's a crip- ple for life | It was, however, discovered that tho youngster had sustained nothing moro se- rious than a skinned nose, and peace was restored and continued until his wife sud- denly discovered that sho had lost her watch. “ Of courso—of cours growled the hus- band. ‘Thoro goes 8125 of my bard earn- ings! I knew you'd havo it stolen beforo you had gone a rod.” “But porhaps I left it on tho bureau,” “Well, it will be lugged off before night, just the same. Serves you right for bull: dozing me a whole month to make this in- fernal excursion. What ails that woman’s baby? “T declare if it hasn’t got the whooping | is! cough!” | “Of course—of course; and not ono of | your children ever had it! You'll have | business on your hands for the next six weoks! The next half hour passed peacefully | enough. Then somebody observed that a man whose gaze was fixed on the water prob- ably contemplated suicide, 1» | lakes and flats pounded into him for three “<T expected nothing else!” exclaimed the | disconsolate husband, ‘* but maybe he will listen to reason.” Going over to the stranger he laid a hand on his shoulder and brusquely inquired: do you mean to jump into the 8, sir!” was the reply as the man ed up. Just so—exactly—I suspected as much. You'll utter a yell as you go over and kick up all the lottery you can, 1 presume.” at Yea tie: i And my wife will faint aw: young ‘un howl like an Injun a dollar to go over on the sly. “No, sir,—not for a thousand.” “Haven't you any feclings fora man who has had steamboats and fish and rivers and y and every | Til give you month “None, sir.’* “And won't five dollars bribe you?” “Tt won't.” “Then go ahead with your oration and death yell! lake all the fuss you will! Splatter around in the water as long as you ply can, and fix your eyes on my family when you go down the last time! “I never had any other kind of luck, and I’m going down to the saloon and get drunk prepara- tory to a biler explosion! Good-by, old feller; serves me right, and I don’t’ com- i P When he was helped ashore at the Flats he was weak in the knees and limber in bis spirit. Gathering his family around him he continued: “Sheven, eight, nine, ten, ‘leven, twelve. Why, ble: I only shad five chil- dren whe: etroit, an’ now I've got ten! Juss my luck—juss ‘i 'spected! Los watch—whoopin’ cough—suicide ten shil- dren—whoop! Sherves me jus’ rize!”"—De- | troit Free Press. “Oh, where do you clover? I turned the curl'd grasses over and over. ‘o find is good fortui J leads to my lov O, clover, sweet clover, your covert discove ° you, my fourleafed | Intently she secks through the odorous grasses, And hears the footstep that cautiously passes. ** At last [have found you. my four-leafed clover!" She rises—to meet the fond gaze of her love —Philadelphia News, “Way, Mr. Smith!” exclaimed the poune | lady, * wha oh, thath a moustache. growing long. It ithn’t long enough to bite!” And Mr. Smithers made adesperate | effort to twist one end of it into his mouth. “Ah, then there’s no necessity of being afraid of it?” said the young Indy, demurely drawing closer. And Mr. St ithers didn’t know what she meant.—Oil Ci y Blizzard, | Tue boy who bit into a green apple re- | marked with a wry face, “"T was ever thus | in childhood—sour.”"—Somerville Jour. RUPTURE v4 CURED without the tnJury Trusses { vith pinstegraphie ikeuranca ct bad eases See nailed for for io Send one, tn. th Banas bo hie for presen! 76 ’s that on your lip?” “ That!— It hathn’t been ‘cases, before and ‘Address, ui 5 35 mlatonary in Meth erica Send self. | to ltzy. JOKRPHT. IXMAN, Station D.N-Y. Soe. (in stampa) 20 Bi — aca, | ROR Ge eampe) 30 Blespos Sereno. So Nesane SCH “Towemy Restoration to Health Bs "4 Beauly to the CUTICURA EMEDIES.” Tesumgelal af « Dawe PRING Humors, Humillating ru ptions Itching Tor nfula. 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