Judge — September 8, 1883 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| shoes, with which they caught among the ne boring shipping, and the almost ins aneous firing of the extensive wi sheds, shew whut might ha something is done to remove those wh ere e occurred, less works to some more distant and suitable lo- | cality, there will yet bea fire at the oil- docks, which, from the drifting of some burn- ing vessel, will spread the fire to the exten- sive shipping of New York and Brooklyn. Frost Virginia comes the harrowing re- port of another secession movement. G W. C. Wickham, a sometime Republican, « more or less political fame, who has been re- ted by the Mahonites and his former to the front as a belligerent, reconstructed Democrat, ready to become a martyr to the cause, and give up his life country—and a § political associates, now come atorship. ‘The old, old story. Merci Bien! ‘Tne Juparis becoming the great illum.- ted paper of the country. Its illustrations superb, and the humor contained within its sixtecu pages would stir up the most chronic hypochondriac.— Prov. Indicator. Oh, Oscar! "Twas a “ Veru” Wilde affair— Of the truth of this I'll swear— But he doesn’t turn his toes in As does Samuel of Posen, Nor wus he with pride intlated,” As a journalist has stated: This I know, for I was ther At the play in Union Square, O, it was ‘a little thing” Of true Nihilistie ring— ‘Thoughts sublime by him created— All so nicely calculated T. m his name in glory, ers tell the story, »purtenances rare, in Union Square. On the But, alas! what heart is equal To the unexpected sequel ? ntiments of author proud, Laughed at, sncered at by the crowd— Who but he could stand the trying, Fearful ordeal of guying ? Gentle Oscar, ‘ meek and mild,” Raised his “bang” and sweetly smiled! piovoma. A curr T item’ says that “ the uso of artificial fruit dryers is becoming ail throughout ‘Tennesse What anybody wants with artificial fruit is more than we can understand, when natural fruit is a0 plentiful. Iy New Haven the ladies are clamoring for the position of street inspectors. They should, however, remember that this is i prerogative of the club dudes on wet days, A ReLtotov paver, inquires «What are deacons for?” The religious shéet should not be too inquisitive. SHERRY cobbler will never mend your Un- blood for the good of his | Tie Moxovory Simon Lean (Vite © Unete About Barmaids. lers are scarce in London, nd their duties are very They have only to turn the spigot sel holding the beer or spirits. fill the measure, and deposit its contents in a glass, after which they pass along adecanter of water, from which the customer may help himself. ‘Th y no mixed drinks ex- cepting the *Jemon squash.” When a bar- maid is asked if she can mix agin cocktail, a whisky punch or a sherry cobbler; she amazed, with gaping mouth, looking as if sh “Expert barter Barmaids abound, were trying to satisfy herself whether the tioner is mad. To ask her “gin ‘ i ‘The above paragraph, wh’ an exchange, may be true but it by no means embraces the whole duty of the barmaid. The turning of the spigot is a very unimportant part compared to the turning of the conversation. Passing along. the decanter of water might be dispensed | with, but not the passing of an opinion on | the current topics of the day. The barmaid ought to be pretty; must he well dressed ; must know how to receive dubious compli- would only set her laughi ments, and be a mistress of repartee. She must be ready for a little mild flirtation, and be able to dispense it us easily as a little mild | yet, withal, she must be, and to do her | justice she generally is, ladylike up to a cer- | tain point, and good-humored beyond the enerally recognized capacity of woman, And one good effect is very noticeable as re- ulting from her presence in the bar. Men Irink—even when they pass the limits of so- | briety—like gentlemen. You rarely hear much profanity—never any obscenity—in an | English bar-room within éarshot of the Eng- lish barmaid, She may or may not be a good girl—very often she is; but always her pres- ence has a certain refining and tempering ef- THE END OF THE TELEGRAPIL STRIKE. Huh! you She-Devil! fect upon her customers the “mixed drinks "—what do they amount to? Nobody wants any ‘sugar’ in his” when a pretty girl fills his glass and smiles in his eves when he is drinking the contents. And as regards Youn Dawkins, making his accustomed i remarks: “Oh, by- the-way, have you heard about the new doc- tor th: just come to town? He's a most remarkable man—a mesmerist: or something of that kind. He cures just by laying on his hands. If you've got a‘bad tooth, he just puts his finger on it, and it drops right out. “Ho! that ain’t nothin’.” eagerly inter- rupts little who ought to have been put to bed an hour ago, but wasstill permit- ted to infest the parlor, “That ain’t nothin’ ‘tall. Sister Tildy, she puts her fingers on he ey all of ‘em drops right ont! [sees her do it every night.” ‘ound. A GENTLEMAN from ross the water, whose most conspicuous feature is the fine development of his lower face, and whose nt occupation is traveling among us, to our institutions, on foot, tripped gracefully up a flight of marble stepa, and remarked to the maid who . “If ye plase, mum, could ye giv me bit o’ bread? I’ve not had a mouthful for + A mouthful, is it, ye’re afther?” suavely replied the maid; “And where do yez ex- pict to foind enuff to fill that mouth, begor- ra?” The foreign gentleman retired to meditate. Kixp words are among earth’s brightest flowers: they convert the humblest abode into a paradise—therefore use them especially and freely around the fireside-circle where the children cluster when the day is done. comicbooks.com