Judge — August 18, 1883 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. THE DULL SEASON, Mepnisto.—‘‘Hello! Churches not running ; theatres all closed; Beecher off lecturing! Washington Gossip. FROM OUR OWN LIAR, Wasiixotox, D. C., Ave. 8th, 1883. Great excitement is caused here by the report that the members of the Yellowstone excursion party will pay their own expenses. veral relormeviot the civil service to whom your correspondent has ‘spoken, shake their heads and say they will not be answerable for the consequences should the report prove | tobe true. There are a number of deter- | ined men here who would bitterly avenge i ion of civil se » rights, and lynching are rife. Fourteenth- Assistant Postage-Stamp Licker Jinks was approached by your correspondent, and spoke as follows: ° “It is an infamous false- hood! No*gentleman in the civil se! would be guilty of such an act of erimi- nal folly; and I am sure that the Presi- | dent and General Sherman would be the last | men to countenance by their presence an e: cursion for which the public would not be called upon to foot the bill. I have been in the service of the Government here in Wash- ington for thirty-five years, and I have never in all that time heard Government officials so grossly libelled. You have my authority for stamping the report as mean, malici and cowardly! Colonel High Jinks is a Egad, I'l have to hunt a cool boarding-place up in the country myself truthful gentleman, and kept out of the ri of our troops during the war of the rebel with credit to his pocket. During the ba of the Wilderness, he lost $1,000 on ace-high, in his native town of Montpelier, Vt., on the evening of the first day,at Gettys- burgh, he was carried home from-his club in a comatose state, and put to bed “by-his de- ceased third wife's sister. You can depend on what Colonel Jinks says. Thomas Hancock Blushblue, a colored citizen, was to-day detected paying three trade dollars into the treasw Interesting disclosures are expected during his trial, it being hinted that he will implica pretary Frelinghuysen, ex-Senator Rollins, ick Douglas, Mrs. Dr. Mary Walker, Bob Ingersoll, the Rev. DeWitt Talmage and a very prominent politician connected | with the congressional door department, in a conspiracy to defraud the government. A determined attempt was made last night | to blow up aclerk in the post-office depart- | | ment. He had just got home from his office where he had been ‘sitting up with asi friend. The offender was his wife. It i not the first attempt of the kind. Alderman P| eGinnis, and blyman Sing Sing Blathers, of New York, led on the President yesterday afternoon. ‘They were closeted together for upwards of five hours, and three new decks were sent for Assem- | | during that time. It is rumored that there will soon be a removal in the ash-barrel de- partment of your city government, in con- Ie ordered that one of the guns on the United man-of-war Pow-wow should be fire Luckily the powder failed to. ignite consequences might have been disastrous. Your correspondent was informed that it was with much difficulty dissuaded from court-marshaling the Admiral for an attempt to destroy th ican navy. Later—Y our? correspondent has this in- stant returned from an interview with the Admiral—he ¢ the story in tote. He says that he told’the gunner to put in a charge of powder in order to tind ont where the d. A story is going the rounds of the Wash- ington press to the effect that a number of war pension » being paid to people who absurdity of the eis so apy no one but an enemy of the for a moment ent: i dent is sorry to enemies of the Executive “twixt earth and heaver Fourth-Assistant Bartender McGuffin, the Magnolia saloon, is back from a trip North. He speaks highly of the clam bakes aro games on Coney Island. > is no truth whatever in the report ate Cannon, of Salt L » fact that several are still “crawling Mahone! In the first place, Ma- asn’t got a sister-in-law, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, and eighth on good aut chen, Vera, } non would object. ey are crowded now, and until some genius invents couch that will hold ten with comfort—no! hority thi AN article in a woman’s journal tells “How to Treat a Wife Men who treat , and are ever ready to wait upon and do the agreeable to ’s wives, will be surprised to learn i versa in its adv It is loud in its denunciations of the m is all cloud and thunder in the presence his own wife, and all smiles and sunshine when in the company of other men’s wives. But we don’t believe the woman’s journal can pujtit toa single man of that description. It mayy4 be able to point to several thousand murried ones, you see a young man and a ditto nthe front stoop at 11 Pp. M., environment of the Thisness, f an atom, and so forth especially the latter—with their heads so contiguous that a zephyr couldn't pass them without getting painfully |, it would be safe tot lion dollars and wager the entire sum that they are not brother and sister. A Wisconsin . after repeat- edly warning his congregation to shun. the lake of brimstone and sulphur, went back on his preaching the other day by taking his | Sunday-school on an excursion to * Devil's ake. sistency is a topaz—even in a clergyman. Iv is strange that banks can have any se- | erets when they always have a teller. comicbooks.com