Judge — April 28, 1883 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. ON OUR AVENUES. Iv was a gusty spring night, The strect lamps flickered in’ the 2 the dust whirled down the stately avenue So did the carr ‘Two men in tasty spring ove in their slow walk up town. The ve tly, and the emphasis of their tion would seem to have riveted their feet to the sidewalk —for they did not move. litary spectator, who wore h at in a liquid’ form inside shboring doorway and ob- hem narrow! ity-four,” said one. rmured the other, ed to run,” resumed the first. me in with you,” chimed in the 8 paused were co conve solitary spectator thought he was yo- to behold a footrace, but neither moved. at wasa silly April-f | joke they pl eon poor Chet, was it not? resumed tl prineipal speaker. t present the sen ve got it wit let me see i The first spea produced it from his It was a pistol, solitary spectator thought he was ing to behe , but neither shot. “Very rey pnsible indeed, [I think pecially when poor Chet is nervous with this talk of ghosts.” ** They say Gartield’s ghost stalks in every | hamlet in Ohio.” “Well, it can’t be helped. fools, and candidates will be ng to run ix nothing oc dU night.” od night,” and they parted—the prin- ipal speaker continuing up the avenue to- ity-ninth street, and the other » the Fifth Avenue hotel. ‘The solitary spectator followed the former. | I Iso overtook him, Fools will bo ndidates. [ urs to prevent boss —" began the 8, 8, “ Pye nothing for you; get ou! Didn't say you had, but you dropped sutthin jest now.”” | Principal speaker, stopping and_ patting ets, Did 1? What was it?” . (Leering), “A hint. ‘To what eff You gave one figure on a combina- Now a man Fill it out, and VI put my last nickel on it.” | P.S. “I don’t understand you.” S.S. “T want it for polic | P.S, “Ah, are you a politician?” | S. 8.“ Yes; apolicy-tician, Put two num- || bers before that 84 and I'll play it.” PLS. “Well, the first number is egomet tion, You said’ ‘ eighty-four.’ | can’t go and play one figure. ipse — S.S. “Eh?” | P.S. “I myself; number one. ‘The only || number I’m looking after just now.” “One. Good enough.” ||. P.S. «Well, T'don’t know what I’m wast- ing my time on you for —” “Four goes,” “It is the presidential term of of- Luccept the omen,” * One—four—eighty-four. Thanks, I'l play the numbers.” 3. “So willa great many other people.” Well, I hope they all may win.” They can’t. ‘They'll all lose ex- ne two.” sounds like a skin game. | ht to give a big prize such a per- “1 gu ve White House, 1 won't play your numt lim show in th SS. My nickel would stand a win.” And _ the ; and the dust whirled he solitary specta- rvault, and the in retl is one of which THe injudicious to reveal until the Republican convention shall have nominated its Presidential ticket. Before which time the solitary. spe will have drank himself to death, Before which time the principal speaker will have felt the popular pulse in a thous- and political fevers, and timed its beats by the aid of that great political stop-watch- the press. br thus extremes meet. el in a be spent hi princi tion, the m Juve fe Ocn particularly bi ight Solemporary: Truth, comments on a case recently decided in the Dablin Rolls Court, wherein Mrs. Bla the widow of a murdered nd agent, is prohibited from publishing certain lette which would tend to remove the responsibil- ity for certain severe mesures from her late isband, and attach it to his employer, Lord Clanric The court, in granting the in- junction applied for by Lord Clanricarde, 1 marks that the publication of the letters would expose his lordship to odium, and Truth in effect says that the living lord is as well entitled to bear the odium as the dead gent. Which is where Tie Jeper differs from Truth, Mr, Blake is dead, and beyond the reach of the corps of Fenians, or Invin- cibles, or whatever they call themselves, while the lord still lives—a possible target for agra- rian bullets. As it does not appear that ei- ther Lord Clanricarde or Mr. Thake did any- thing which they were not fully justified in doing, the latter's memory will not suffer | with unprejudiced people, ‘and the former's life may bo qarel by prejudiced people. | However, it would be certainly more dignified if his lordship evinced the courage of his opinions. “ EDWARDSVILLE wants a junk shop!” shrieks an Alabama exch: . Well, give | Edwardsville a junk sho} nd two or three able-bodied junkmen with junk carts to wheel through the streets, and suitable tocsins on cart, so that the citizens of Edwards- ville can no longer hear themselves think, and then Edwardsville will lie down and writhe and curse the day it was born. We have heard of a man who bought fleas by the ck, but we did not believe the story; we | have dreamed of a man who got married that \ he might enjoy the society a mother-in- jaw; but we regarded that as an hallucina- tion—but this is the first town we ever read of that pined for a junk man. hi im fallen heir to $50,- e the example of A WASHERWOMA | 000. She will now the ‘* Reforme do with wrings. hie Brie or Size—That between New and have nothing moreto | York and Brooklyn. HE BLEW HIS OWN “ BAZOO."* Os the App: Far down Where the all Is a dirge upon th Where they grow the sweet banana And the ‘There he twirled his red And then blew bis rout! “I'm a flery-hearted S I have dabbled in the Of some thousands of t Mud-sills from New En Who, in T through: ‘Thanks! | ean tell the yarn unaided— I can blow “YexT fought with Sto Always e hront ore Northern Hand's sh lovely country ny own © buz00! wall Jivck r for the fray— When I With 1, ple Tam blowi pd tru yt interrupt me— his + bazoo! “ Lwould charge the Union p Kill and slash at dead of 1 T would furnish them with tickets For th bes of white, AM alos wonders, At to view,— By! § istorian’s blur T must blow my een * haze “In the annals of our battles There's no record of the How [took the t pat chattels, How 1 caused their hearts to quail! Yes: my country was ungrateful, nme my due— faithful hhazoo'."” So, to show you LW own this Here, from ‘mongst the people gather'd who'd weat great fighter, most weak in knees now grew), And remark “Oh! cork up your snide *bazoo!" to our reciter, * You can dis For you've lies ater stock! You're a blowhard most im-pious, And a coward by the clock! While you claim that you were working or the Southern cause so true, Up in Boston you were clerking, Where you piped your old ‘bazoo." . you measly, lying bummer, All those years y you fought, ‘Through the winter and the summer Of those da; with danger fraught, the hi so bravely Ina store of Norther : . to make the sales, you naively Blew your soft and sweet! bazoo,"” . . . . ‘ In the Appalachicola, Far down in the Su Now the alligator rolls, A sweet morsel in his mouth! “Tis the Southron, (2) oh, so gory! And was put there by the few Whom fooled with bogus story As he blew his loud **bazoo,” Yor the benefit of the untattlated, we woukl say ¢ ‘South and West, who la perfectly TI ny South, 1! comicbooks.com