Judge — March 31, 1883 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE EGG. EASTER LAY, Last an og: Don't you forget it Eat mo when fresh, I bog, You'll never regret it. I'm very weak, But keop mo long And I grow strong; Thon you will speak From Scripture, unrevised edition, And send me straightway to perdition, Placo mo in an incuba And then, A fow weeks later, FowL A rooster who can crow, When I'm a taby, Spring chicken Is my nat When I grow old, Tstil For Spring sold hicken just the same, =. asta Quizzing a Barber. fora week, & *palice” was a destination most nd-white suide-post loomed up at the end of tes’ dog-trot from t Walking into the capillarions of Lazarus Latherem, [dropped my in one nid myself in-another. The proprietor smiled 1 street tramp when he finds that he's in un- n of & new five-cent nickel There could be no doubt of it, 1 mean Lazarus and myself, not cither of us and the tramp. He arranged my spinal column, and the chin and neck towels, and then spoke aloud. That is Latherem did. It was his privilege as a boes tonsor, at I had nerved myself for the dread ordeal and T nap been travel The nearest shaving Its had my beard. devoutly wished. e rail- way station, pider web rips chair 9 like a W disturbed possess! had met before. tongue . + Toon out of the city, sir “Yes. + Far?" “To Minnesota and back. lives there. “Indeed “Precisely! You seo she Tt was very sudden.” “What was sudden, sir!" “The way my brother was taken.” * What took him, sir “A requisition from the Governor of the State of New York.” (Th of gall and to be momentarily paralyzed, but he soon recovered wind.) A capital crime, sir?” Yes, murder.” * Your own brother, sir 2" “Sad, and disinally true! My people keenly felt the disgrace, both prior to and after his trial and execa- tion; but it can't be helped now, my sympathetic friend! Me wasa likely enough boy, and ought to ave turned out better, but his gift of perennial elo- to the scaffold. In an batton-holed one of our most promi Iked him to death. Conscier sult of is voealistic attack, my poor brother \l of blizzards, Out there in Mines: Mowing Is often fatal, but it is never indicted. Hrother adopted the name of Wi; acquainted with a wealthy Iu daughter. This heiress of | him, as it were, 80 they got spliced, and then boaried ‘round an her folks. Time flew merrily on the zs of hope. Children prattled at the knees ed at the store clothes of my brother and his Five happy years and seven additional joyous months sped like an April raft_on the waters of th booming St. Croix. Then a rude, a dircful awakening. The avenger was on his track, and Grab- ber's independent, private detective agency run him down, “How was he found ont, sir?” encoun I've a sister-in-law, wko my brother's only widow, ne Windsor soap appeared quence led bil tricken at the hor- My He soon got freckled heand-seantling pined for bernan’s A N 4 AS SS SSA ee SNISSSSS8 IN SSS RSs KRSSS N Captain MeGlory, bring your company to a halt, art, MeGuo all of a sudden, “Ty never being in when the officers called at the house,” [Here T got a vicious dab of sapon in my left eye, Yet again the barber rallied. “Then they laid for hi “Fggeactiy so! It all happened last Easter.” Oh! That was tery bad, alt!" [Another dab square in the mouth, and a spiteful, quick pull at. th razor. Luckily for methe blade held, but my cheek was all ina quiver like the youngsters’ new toy ar- rows] ‘They got him at last, you sald, sir! “Yes; TM tell you just how it was, if you will only Keep quiet long enongh to let_me get a word In edge- ways, Ithought yoa barbers looked on William the Silent as your patron saint, bat T must have been mistaken, However, that's got nothing to do with my story. It seems there was a regatta out in that Now my brother belonged to neither of the rival crews, bat habit was strong within him, and like tupid male, as he was, he had to go and put in his In less than half an hour he was in durance section. vile, In what, sir?” Sail.” That was a very sorrowful affair, sir. have bay ram, sir this time.” “Shampoo? T guess not “Charley” (giving the towel a jerk), “wipe off the gentleman, and (stage whisper) give bim a dry brash: As T buttoned up my overcoat the shop, T heard the of his journeymen: « lying-in hospital. paid to do it, his brother!” Will you nd turned to leave susted Lazarus mutter to one Spink, that’ man was born at a Me couldn't tell the trath if he What a pity that be wasn't hung with ESRIQUE. Brushing Up Reporting. }9 you need a reporter” inquired a long, lean, k youth, a& he entered the sanctum, and formed Say, old man, who's a doin’ this, you or me? s ms te of smoke genins, paper sell. E Jam. Got ina week.” “Our staff is “Ab, just no mobile new fdea, played “Oh, i yw. That face of the edit You see th ont.” ventur The be sur original; something t he count See how dull it is Veen describe! in that way delgn to glance dent to how I'd does: wen «©<Tt is our mournfal duty to record a terrible acei- dent, by which a sweet young life is prot Yestenlay one of then of our esteemedffellow-citizen, Joshua Squills, Esq., a out of existence. id, unfolding a copy of the paper, * of an accident Pro! write» 1 improve it. lite + an Now, you ji regular subscriber * the roa transmission of refase coal, which were Leyond the control of U physi climbing the golden stairs. dom of “Nor sation, “Do queried the editor, as | way by ap ans, The dear Heaven.” nw, there Let me give y yon prefer t * Good-morni “Don't tro for me. time And hen pe the proj ome and your eire suggested the eilitor, w two of ‘em fall 2 a joke,” he yelled, it over. Td just throw my child of Joshua Sq) ash-cart yester No, sir. an article which would s yourself; the stairway is good ¢ rome yer gitin rery fresh his cigarette, “You see Mm a ww idea; bound to make your ation will double round the corner gazing at the im- or. “Tat to bnsines 8 cast-iron way of reporting is Tre a 1 the public wa at will or. t something new and e home. to wlit ably a thou itd, Just read it. nid accidents have «1 the public scarcely If Twas given auch an acei- It. Now just seo Do you think I would say as this lls was ran over by nid is not expected to. recove t listen to th alily crush y offeprin precipitated to ¢ which is used in the and sustained injuries oat eminent infant, it is feared, will soon be For of such is the King use a sen- ‘ou another ¢ = he elevator or the stairway? youth nash ml the intersting rush for the door, hut ted hoot, comicbooks.com