Judge — March 24, 1883 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. Fauwens “Well, Pd just like to sind that weathe poor dumb beasts, ant no storm to speak of —aud besides, cut all my trees down for J ELEVATED RAILWAY SIGHTS. Wuuzzixo through the air on the pleasant winter a! On the elevated I feoquently have witnessed some tantall Of whieh FU tell you some way as we gO: T know [ saw a gentle 1 on the who stopped to ring # bell And tinge Tkuow [saw th Wh But th No pie } loving hands had se train it went so fast that my memory reveals ture of the things they had to eat, ww saw the beds with pillows smooth and white ingly arrayed for sweet repose; But the train it went so fast T never saw the sight Of who metined beneath the snowy clothes. T know [saw a lover who met bis heart's d And pressed hor with w greeting full of bi But the train it wont so fast I was far, far ¢ Bofore they even had begun to kiss. t of sight And so Tait and sigh, as the train goes whizzing by. At many of un@lnished sights for me For the tniins they go so fast, I bave al Bofore [have « half a chane dy passed, =. 1, ORMEEY, JR. He Went to the Ball. Tur, ball season is very demoralizing, It tends to corrupt the juvenile reporter. Tux Jepor states so because he is aware of the fact personally. The other day there came to the office an invitation for one of our staff to attend a ball given by the Society Sbriekers’” Association at Never-quit Hall, Asa private note from the secretary of the Society Shriekers'” Association stated that sald social :ircle 1 proph Here [ have sent my family away, re f contained over one t bers, each of which | took four copies of Tue Jupan—whetber stands or off of front stoops was not menti representative was sent down. He was a nice, ox-eyed young fellow, who had e down from way, East, Maine, with a spring poem, ex- pecting to reap fame and fortane from it. Unlackily the poem did not connect Cruel editors failed to perce antly he was forced to accept a meni: nation at our office, where for three dollars a week he was engaged to light fires, carry coal, sweep out, carry corpses from our private morgue, write leading articles, and also be realy to do all neceasary reportorial work. We sent him to the “ Society Shriekers’” ball, following report is what came to us, Evidently, from its perusal, it must have been written under wine-room {nfluences - the interpolations appear to s0 denote. Here it ts: “The ball of the | tion composed of the tirst gentlemen of Cherry and vicinity, was a great success. (No—I won't have nothing now.) The was tastily bedecked (Well, T will have 0 “The hall was cheerfully—no, tastily—bedecked with —bedecked with—be—(Thanks, here's to Tne Jeper) bedecked with flags and bunting. “At eight A.M.—P.M.—No, AM.—P.M. is right, the worthy president (All right, I will be there in a minute) the grand march was led by the worthy president, Mr. MeGilder and his lady-like wife, who was attired in pink silk and gema, Following them came Mr. McGloin and sister (Now I am ready to go with you.) é “Mr. McGloin’s sister wore a hem-stitched polonaise, gored down the back and (There is only seven of you. Well, I'l come.) “Ball great success. Miss De Lacy got moire antique dress. Greatestaffair season. Ald’man Murphy ousand me its inwardoess, result- the | Senator Hoolihan anchored my house and barn, and cared for these iy would Mow down on ney house jolly fellow. So is his wife. All good fellows, for Steiety Sbriekers. Ex-Judge Mud’s cousin, from Boboken, elegantly ‘tired in Charlotte de Russe sty i lady captured all bearts. tor showed diamonds no object. Lady splendid low turban with plon-plon on. Bully for her. “Met Miss Plantagenet. Nice girl. Got on a Pomp ‘our dress all flated. Winkedat me. Mash. Ig stan’ a bottle anyways. Write report later, an Wore We got the report. And soon afterward we got our reporter. It cost us ten dollars, and Jefferson Market was where we got hit out of. He retarred home to his parents very soonly, but we still hold his grip-sack for the tenner. n cages are ten cases. But we have an idea, that if we don’t get the prom. ised check from his paternal, that we will Le left upon the grip-aack. From its feel we thi oil and a ** Guide to } k that it contains a bottle of hair- w York.” —3OUN CAVANAGH. Titpes is reported shaky, Blaine is suid to be pros: trated by the recent attempt upon his life (*); Jules Ferry has the neuralgia, Bismarck is weakening every day, the Prince of Wales’ stomach bas gone back upon him, David Davis is going to be married, George Francis Train has not written a poem for a week, and we—we have a boil upon the back of our neck. Can it be Wiggins’ wave that has thus afflicted all of the world’s great ment “Tax a native American citizen, born, bejabers, in this counthry,” said Mr. Muldoon, at a recent political gathering, “and if ye disbelieve it, come around home and I will show ye me naturalizathion paphers.” comicbooks.com