Judge — March 17, 1883 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. THE VANDERBILT BALL. _ | there wasa tudding boil apon my neck just where my ahirt-collar was sure wo rub it, [was fooling firat-class to-morrow ** Lay Wittiaw Vaspenater, wal!” grinned he, as he started his horses and From me you will not win renown, m artistic but unsuccessful effort to clear th Vil give you the whole biz about Hank You thought to bring a blue-blood heart back platform of an University Place car of passe aketeh of it, Git up! > posture at your ball in town with the stage’s po ver heard of Hank Jones!” : stage. chaps you smiled, bat unbeguiled “Hank Jones?” I answered Tsaw your snap, and 1 lit out: “Yes. Didn't you know Hank?” ‘The helpmate of our Railroad ki I felt sort of ashamed, but 1 was forced to own that I knew just what [was about for all practical personal purposes, Hank Jones was as good asa myth. Tdid not know his nib “Shoo! don’t say,” ejaculated the driver, totally ob- | Dexcos Jones was di 1 all Squamtown was [know you're proud to bear your name; livlous to t ta very fat zentloman was wildly | Sorrowful, for the deacon had been a truly good man. My boodle is no mate for thine, running for th about half a block back, at the | He was authorityon church matters, and was a Nor matters you from where it came, rate of about a mil our, and hoarsely a lat man in the Sons of Tempe Nor would I soak for your jeweled sake for the vehicle to stop. «Well, T must tell you about | e had a flery appe: This simple locket on my chain, Lady William Vanderbilt, him. He used to ride down with me reg’lar, just like Two furlongs of your husband's roads you. He—" protuberance for but no one in the church Are worth a hundred miles-of-lane, Here the driver paused to take on a passen, dared to even hint that the pious man indul When he saw that said passenyer was safely in the | ‘T08y.” stage, and said passen; safely in | of by the uns the box, he went ahead—with both stage and tory, | hat then the It flowed as follows (interruptions in parenthesis): | pious “This Hank Jones (if that old hen coming down the That the pn would have a large and tm street thinks that I'm going to stop for her she is much | fueral Was the unanimous conclusion, The Sons of mistaken) was ove of the qucerest old dacks that ever | Temperance held a meeting, and wed to turn out Lady William Vaudertilt Some broker seribbler must you find, For even had I not a dis I would not stoop to such a mined you thoaght that 1 would come, disdain is my reply, The ice beneath your See" . T met. (Look a ‘ou young chump on that cab, | i full regalia; and when the time appointed for the Is not cold to you than 1 mate, (Look:at you young chump on that cab, pi if you don’t hurry and turn out I'll run my pole through ‘mony arrived, the lodge marched through th Lady William Vanderbilt, back window, and I ain't giving you no guif | *treet of Squamtown, led by Jimmy Frisby w You put strange memories in my head either.) Hank always wore, summer or winter, a | ‘rawn sword. The deacon’s house was a small one, It seems short since, that I belield, shawl, a regular oll pock-marked affair too. (There | aud the parlor was not capacious, quently there At Spuyten Duyvil, charred dead ! 4 that bloody old bell again. Two-dollar bill, 1 | ¥a8 00 room to spare. The apartment was well f Your princely house, your cherished gold knew it. Strike a two-dollar bill on your tirst trip, and | Previous to the arrival of the Sons of Temper: 4 wife 1 know yon be, you're eure to yet ‘em all day. Guess they think I've | a8 the day was cold, an effort was made to allow ever. in tunnel dark a mint up here; ean coin cl fast as they ly to come inside. In order to make r it. That dutfer'’s packa, : squinteyed ai to stand t If he drops Ul tell him: to ge i end, a c stood in a corue at Hank's business was, I could not for gz | Which the corpse of the good deacon was en Jout. (Keep on pulling away at that a take a look inside, and I won't stop at all. Just keep your shirt | Just as the minister wa midst of a pathetic on.) Courve it wasn’t actually my affair ; didn't con- | dress, and had began to stir up the mour nd cern me in the least, (See that fellow “en the lone widow had cried two pocket handkercbiets That with deceit Fl not t Ge dake olin dhe Mintnet hee oak ie | wringing wet, old Aunt Naney Bloomer made her ap- The reason is—now you'll know all heand Fare all right. We whack on the outs pearance at the parlordoor and began to edge her way The reason is—I ain't been asked! Lord biegs you, if the roof of ‘my stage was cramme She finally managed to get a seat near the colin, at the whol jong the maskers grave a Who'll tread the f Will not be seen, then let me tell with outsiders, he couldn't see thet . fter a tremendous bustle, whieh ¢ minister t families to support!) . | to suspend his address for a few n neurious. (TI beat that sucker on th erytine if Tie, He sneaked a th from me last night; ent me off. [went home empty, : ” she whispered to Sim Doc while he carried a full load. Bet [get to Canal street er, who sat alongside of her; “Td hefore he strikes Broome, He's a daisy driver, he ist | Know that the deacon was When did Sending along a plow is about his weiszht! he buy th shioned ¢ Evee ride . So every once in the white I hinted to Hank that 1 | Sim ducked his he What wouhl like to know what he did for a living, or how he | Over his mouth to rey Not was fixed. (Just please squint down in the box, will | “The old fool m Well, come to think of uppose that there are | you, and get out that last nickel. Looks to me like | tered Sim to few that do; for there seems to be a sort of social | lead. It’s all hunk, ch? Gladtohear it; can't tel what | “Can't you see what time it is, Sim?” inquire odium uttached to the practice, principally, 1 suppose, | folks will do nowadays. Blamed if'a re-! nice-looking | Nancy because, as a rule, the roofs of stages are occupied by | old euss—appeared to me like a minister—didn't put ina | Sith bowed his bead still lower, and the n ate district messenger boys, offic lads of the cigarette: | three-cent piece for two fares a couple of days ago, | tributing the action to the powerful address be was de smoking genus, and policemen. and when Ileaned down and told him about it, be | livering, hoped to have made a convert of the tavern- les, it Lakes study to be able to bow with grace | kicked like a mule, Said 1 was a liar, and he would lady friend from the roof of a "bas. One can do it | leave it to myself, and that he would go up to the com " the face of that old clock, anyhow,” said bod deal more satisfactorily from the window of a | pany and sce that I got the grand bounce. All the | Aunt Nancy, as she rose up just as the minister bezan a 5 same, he put in a real tenner, and the company aio’t | Mis closing prayer. She edged over to the front of the Still [ most always mount the seat beside the driver, | seen him yet: not as Iam aware of.) coffin, and after adjusting ber spectacles, she looked because, being of noble descent—most of my family are | “To go abead about Hank. (Say, express, you onght | UP at the clock. In place of the dial, she looked on rendezvousing at Trenton, N, J., and probably w to buy a whole street for yourse else quit drivi th ace of the deceased des She gave a yell be out till a new Governor gets in—I do not care what | There is plenty of room for you to get in between the | 49d jumped back, stepping on Sim Dooley's dog. who people say. Those who know me, know what Lam, | grocery wagon and the car.) was napping under ‘s chair. The alarmed hat don't—de want to. “One day he looked at me rather quizzical. « Mose,’ | canine sprang up, upsetting J y Who piteh ef to thy * with the same driver. | said be (my first name 13 Mose—(* Why the deuce don’t | headfon against the coflin. She gave one cony He isa pepperefaced, griz- drive on with that coach? You're blocking | sive = and down tumbled the zied-bearded, keen-eyel oh fellow, with a proficiency None of my business, eh? "Tai the cottin on top of her, the body rolling in the science of profanity which would even startle a just bet that if Fcrawl down off of this box that | Of her. That was sufficient to break up the faner yer of the Arkansas Legislature—or even John make it my business. Shut up! For ye at the dog, who was running wildly about the apart- wt If T had you alone for just three rounds your . added to the farore of the occasion, and when other day, as usual, [got on at Twenty-third would be wearing mou to-morrow.) of “mad dog” was raised, the w *Mose,’ said Hank, 1” a peed out of the house, the widow young unt” said the driver, “how goes itt” | L was sorry as good time as any. The incident furnish all right, Bat we were at Tur: Je and 1 bad to with a story about the old-fashioned clock for m Ontside of the facts that my mother-in-law had just | off weeks. arrived at the house for a six months’ tarry, that the | The driver reluctantly recognized the fact at baby showed symptoms of the black small-pox, that | — Te pulled up his horses, while I clambered down to the landlord had told me that if my rent was not paid | terra fhe A prerry woman, contending with a muddy elde inside of three days, that he would start a free exhibi- | “So long.” heeried; then. as if strack with a sudden | walk or street crossing, is ever an object of masculi tion of honsehold effects upon the sidewalk, and that | inspiration, *-young un ? solicitade. comicbooks.com