Judge — March 17, 1883 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AFRAID OF HIS DOG Vx a nice young Yankee born, no taint of the bog, And ia a muss can give blow for blow Bat don’t ask me to face a “dog,” Those silent, star Oft drive me an, as young men so, paper brute ly from my boots There is He And oni » Keeps the beer saloon, gave me ampl But now I am frightened like a loon Whene're I pass it siace I'm bust. That's why I pass on Cother sid My “dog” waits there to be untie crust, Yes, the sa.ne thin tu olden times ‘twas called But when they have passed a cert All promises they now ignore There is no longer left a truce, And yonr tied ** doz” are now let loose Yea, that’s why I work from curb to curh, While promenading through the street, There is nothing else will so disturly The feelings of the g My very soul is often pained For fear those * will be anchainedd. tee dogs” Yes, Ill have to strike a brand-new route Some other innocents e And leave my To wither up and die of For each saloon my In each I tind a dreaded “dogs” who are now so stout nse jor. “He Was a Dandy.” BY ALDERMAN THOMAS CARKOLL Is our little town of Shamrock, close by the Boyne water, there lived for a brief period, until a few days ago, a man whom everybody declares ** was a dandy.” Some giant intellect has told the world that there are men “who can talk you deaf, dumb, and blind.” ‘The “dandy” was one of those men, without the shadow of adoubt. When he reached Shamrock and speeded up the main street like a startled fawn, everybody who did not ht from the train thought that he had escape from Sing the last lap of his 600th mile, He bounded into the Hotel Mac- Shade and demanded a room, “and aboat it wn to the main floor, and for one week them, occasionally onleri toeat” and a Ol Maes out his guest, and daily presented a bill, which was promptly paid. When the da ter his name and add he deelined, sayin; loud voice, * My Mad, and I want to give my mind a rest.” MacSh discovered that the arrival of Mr. Mud had created con- siderable excitement in Shamrock. Many merchants, bankers and others visited the hotel, and as thay loi- tered in the cafe asked numerous questions concerning, the distingui To all of the inquiries Mac- Shade merely replied, * He says his name is Jim Mud, and he wants to give his mind a rest.” At last one sunny afternoon he strode out upon the balcony, seemed refreshed. It was observed by the passing throng that he was constructed like Sheehan's statue of John L. Sullivan, He was arrayed in clothing that might have caused the village tailor to become insane through envy But the tailor had not yet seen him. He lighted a cigarette, then another, and another, until he had dis- posed of a package. The village belles assembled en masse beneath the balcony, and rejoiced that a speci- men of manhood so elegant had “pitched his tent,” as it were, in Shamrock. His smile was photographed in thelr minds, and as he stepped into his room the maidens sighed unto heaven, and a sleepy constable in & grocery hard-by swore that Wiggins’s storm had reached Shamrock. Need anything further be said to it plain that Mr. Mud was a masher? Very ce him al Sing and was ru He was sh e roamed at will in “something Ht for a hog pint of win je was in doubt dy was asl el guest. Orricer : “What a Scspiciocs Panty terrible fires lately.” Jing there with all that practicing on this fire On the morning following the afternoon of Mr. Mud’s | first appear: on the balcony, he descended to the office of the hotel and held sweet converse with Mac- Shade. Mr. Mud proved to MacShade’s entire satis- faction that he (Mr. Mud) was one of the most inter- esting of earthly m Shade was prod of Me. Maud, and introdaced him to allthe and others in Shamrock. Mr. Mud incessa of himself, telling of the wonderful things plished by him, and of the wonderful things yet t accomplished by him, and giving no one an opportu nity to interrupt im, Tis hearers were unanimonsly of the opinion that be was really a wonderful man. [Of course every reader of this—my maiden effort— will swear that he knows how it will end; and every reader will discover that he bas made a miscalcul: tion.—T. C.} Mr. Mud fascinated all the village maidens, young and old, borrowed money from every man, woman and | child in Shamrock, and secured clothing, boots and shoes, jewelry, ete., for his own personal adornment, on credit, at every store in that neat bat not gandy little His post-office box was daily filled with charming biilet-deux addressed to him, and he lived | “like a fighting cock.” Whenever a creylitor bad fally made up bis mind to ‘call upon” Mr. Mud, the credi- tor weakened at one glance from Mr. Mud’s eagle eye. Mr. Mud was not to be trifled with. At length he determined to quit Shamrock. He owed $987 to Mac- | Shade for board, and otber things, but MacShade weepingly said: ‘+ Don't mention it,” and took Mr. Mad | to his bosom. Village maidens, tradesmen, soldiers, | conrtiers, and citizens escorted him to the depot, the advance guard laying the dust with their tears. When he entered a palace drawing-room car, especially char- tered for his use, the vast concourse of people wept, and strong men between their sobs declared that Mr. Mad really “was a dand; Twenty-four hours later the epell was broken. The Inhabitants of Shamrock were no longer under Mr. stufl this time ot might? escape. That's all, Mud’s mesmeric influence, and as they gnashed their teeth and rent their hair, they screamed: * Yea, he was a dandy.” By far the best bill introduced in the New York Leg. islature is the one providing that all telegraph wires must be placed underground. This is a Dill which the Governor should sign at the first opportunity Tur, Rev. Dr. Morgan Dix may soon have cause for regret if he continues to insist that woman's proper sphere isher home, Mrs, Lillie Devereaux Blake has begun an attack upon him, and she seems determined to ventilate bis ideas to bis discredit Ir will be interesting news to Henry Prouse Cooper that Judge Barrett, of the Supreme Court of this Judi- cial District, bas decided that another jury must under- Ke to decide as to his sanity. As Mr. Cooper is said to be masquerading in England in female apparel, he may not. however, be much disturbed by the news. Me. Jony FoorD, who ig about to retire from the chief editorial chair of the New York Times, in order to secure a controlling interest in the Brooklyn Union« Argus, was once a reporter of the Union long before it | formed a partnership with the Argus, and he has there- fore returned to his first love. Tux latest good man “gone wrong” is sald to be Julius Marcus, a liquor broker. Fifty thousand dot lars, It ts alleged, disappeared with bim. He will probably be quite ill and penitent when conveyed to a prison cell. Marswatt Pork, the $400,000 defaulter in Tennes- ‘see, has been released from jail in consequence of ill- ness. Had he been an ordinary $4 thief he might bare died in jail comicbooks.com