Judge — December 30, 1882 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE. THEAT! Good gracious, 1eon't it loom ! OUR POPULAR FARCES. REPORTED BY OUR COMIC POLICE JUSTICE. (Sanany $8,000 Pen Year.) CHARACTERS: [ Pasoxee OR Buerini, Poren dustter, Crows, { { xcexe.—Court of Jesmer Cuomys Crows. § : Court filled with the usual assortment of; iillérs ait tramps. Jesnce CLows, for a wonder, i ta a good humor, having just been re-appointed. Notts fami- ‘arly o the reporters, who sharpen, their pens expert. | autly, Jestice. Crows calls the “first cane: Paisosnn O'Rent2:y. Judge C.—Is this Mr. O'Rielley? Prisoner CH.—Yes, sur. Judge C—The O'Rellley that” keeps.” ther hotet? (Loud. taughter.4 Prisoner OR. No, sur. Niver” a hotel do'l Bape. T’m employed upon the pipes. / , Judge C.—Then you are a tobacconist? te, oas mirth.) C Prisoner 0 Xo, sutty, { eofeik open tb Boule: vard a wer pipes. Judge ‘ell, what have you to gay fOr) oarselft| SPS: You are accusmi of being drunk and disorderly upon ‘Third avenue last nicht. Prisoner ( h.—Share, jade, L moight e been a traefle dhruuk, but not war { disordherly. 1 rode ap from City Hall upon the elevated railroad, and — Judge C.—You rode upon the elevated railromt Prisoner OR. —Yis. Judge C—Then Lwill elevate you up to the Island for ten days—a clear case of rail-roading! (Cn trersat! merriment.) Next! B £ (rit Prose O'Rei. Eater Prsoven Breretiny Judge C. Mello, Garibaldi r Prisoner B,—Mein name yas pet Garibalat. andge Why, E thonght it was’ by your’ accent. (Applause. Now, Mr. Bretzel, are you nware with what you are-charged? Prisoner B—Sndge, dey vas doldt me dot I yas oc-}- suse auf sdesting a coat from mein employers: sJuulge C—True, Doyou know what. sort of a coat the indictment alleges against you? Prisoner Book vasn't don't. Judge CWasn't it a cutaway coal? Prisoner BEA might de: ¢ Jucige (And doubtless it was, Now you cai euf- reny outside to the Black Maria, ‘whitch Ywill carry you, without any personal expetise, to the Isle de Blackwell for thirty days. (Applawae.] - - Prisoner B.—But— Judge C.—No wats; We don't allow goats In Uds|¥ conrt! (General hilarity. ™ “it Putsosen: Biren. May it please 4 few wor sndge C.—Vivee the dictionary, if yon ple ower Comba Tomet wi an auld frie andl we bekew a Tittle fo uiye CA Wittle L Fou dudge U—What is fox? Chin owl? (General laughter.) Prisoner C.—No, sit, Kis Scottish for bets intoxt- cated. Judge C—Oh, are you Scoteh? Prisoner C—Yes, air. aualge C.—=From Scotia itselt? Prisoner (.—Fainoro’. Tnilge Co—Seotlawd Is called the: Lami Cakes, ain’ itz, x PrisonerC.—Itis, your Honor. shudge C.—Then Fou must be foul of cakes. Tknow hotel, where they have eakes every morn- ing, mae ont o Lait air, Itis right in the middle of the East River, and all you will have to de 'fo-pay for your board is to dissect stone. Gaya! EWalesprew! hilurity.) Ube RatiortnsCOaROS. Rater. Vetwwvee News roura.] shidge G—Mello, John. Si, signor. Sella banana; rvasta ebestauta; mie give Fe mhita grape for twelva penna?, EA bie aniles.}-Statoryour, shle of the-cassy Jol, ,.on dre accused of knocking down a small. bos. He calla the-names..” Ile saya, ‘macaroni no putta floger to his nose, nm Me no dat. Den he steala bunelia of Taina after, corner reacha, | me tio knock: ‘ Jedge G—When did this ecenr? Prisoner N.—Yestertay. © Judge 0—And yesterday was Sunday, and you were gent Ob! John? Jobut that only increases the enormity of your offense; Tam afrakt Twill have to “the doors of the prison van for you. Officer, aecelerate the progress of the foreign clement. Ten days! (Unieersal langhter.) {Erit Prsosen Nesrourrs. stu Fifteen Euter Prisoxer Woon- Prisoner W.—Yea, sir. Fudge C.—You struck your employe: you not? Prisoner Wi—. me Uireg weeks? part, We is rich, and 0 desires, while [have Lown that Tid, He owes im for a Prasoner W.—Twe Fudge C.—That is six dol x dollars for Kids, (Shonts of glee.) How much did you receive when you were married? ven dollars a week ous! cifl, 1 will soner W.—But my wife—my family None of your blarney, Mary, Ehuaw you Mrs. C—And ot do 1 consial acknowhslgment av our acquaintance. T wil ye for yer handsome f lye U—Ab, Mary, You cannot masls me I (Charen of mirt soner Mr, C—The woman who calls ye woife, } ayy be v Mra C—Tee studye © Day Veto Prisoner Mrs, C--Yex mimory uiver fails, dndge C—Bame chia Dronk and disonterty. Vrisouer Mra Judge C—Indees\, Mary here, #0 you can retire. TM dischanse y roll, for | know you will be back to-morrow, ways like to see the faces of old friends, [Peale or laughter, amidst which the Scour: retires to his room Sor an instant to take another sip of fuwiaspir (Cewrats.] Double Names, has suchlenty a rage for ite is borrowed fro ch as the Ashinead-Hart es, ete. It is Hy in New York city is the upper > walks two locks above mick as a coustitus tional, lookin fumed, infirm siders he Is known as Mr, Fho-Joues, or Me, Pat-Chai Mr, Fool-Handly, Itis nice, isn't Let ns go the zood work; and if one-half of the name doesn't into heaven, or the World, the oth have Me. White Law-Reid, Me Charles Brick-Top, Mr. Sebastian Mach-Milla, Mr, Aaron, Mr. Ixaae What’s-Ensland, Mr. Theo Door- Thomas, Mr. Jem-Mace, Mr, Hell-Mont, Mr. Jay varts, Mr. C. Abe-Arthar, Mr. B, Toye-Fagh, Mr. kK. Mr, Amos Comingues, Mr. J. Ia Charl Leo-Oshorn, Mr Son, Mr. Ri-Lee, Mr A RuLROW brake nid nearly twisted bis wife Ieis a wonder that he did takin S148 drummer plays on sixteen drums. a nee, If he were to be with his skull mashed, both r a knife wound 18 portions Y¥ would know as if ty instinetw death, and return a verde ¢ Providence.” © visitation © Atone in the workl has Em done Has she, tor comicbooks.com ee ee ee