Judge — December 9, 1882 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. THIS IS NOT “JERSEY LILY, Anti-Funny-Man’s Association SECOND ME er men were prese solemn, including the Tr “amount disbursed in. suppressing fun" as nearly fifty dollars over the rn there was something fF was impeached, Mr, the vacant cash-box. 8 was by D. Wit Cirens Talma; Veep, daughter of He took for his all were in tears, the cornet played, "Ho! Boys, Carry Me Li ry Me Down to U n was caused by Me. William Dam | ny Monkey's Assoc Woman's Associat nny | word from hin but the Anti-Funny Ma If old Tal. takes us me down here and— come to Jerse; forgotten the ot oaman full of this fan with his family, or rather, ¢: My sorrowful h ne to Jersey to live | volum edd of three twins BUT IT IS THE © MACKERELVILLE SHAMROCK all full he became a f fun Keep your eye on the family | expensive, In short tin then anti-fanay. Now family all died fall of the exp of quinine Anti-Funny Man's to you.) Mr. Sweet, who is ¢ stantly beat him. Me. Lovejoy was full of fa relations, when they came asain, much of this laughter being prevalent (s Insses}, which our frien show is so unhealthy. (¢ th nt is uphealthy. Friends a sor Bloomo: Janse.) Ey What's the result The man’s laughed away all his money. He got se poor that he only had one pair of suspenders; and h he burst those, and his wife ha saspend-her. (Several suspected punster, ai Mr. Punyeuss, of Hohokus, arose. “T wan t want hea funny catch funny fst apo 1 write'a fanny book; the funny hook—" [Pistols leveled at U he speaker.) He continues: “And when 1 Maya le. and down Hie, weet smile, of half am Hina h ny place, my face." [Great uproar and indig most heir dint of C: ns of relief. P “And when Tread them T wept for two daya.” The President: words I re: lyle’” [Si ti-fat, He dis orious sociation. (Don't move, Mr, Sweet; I'n n by bis wife, fears that [am going to » his house, always came thing te -arms were leveled atthe 1 no one would hear another ch were the ace to a new tols down. anbers nust Ady ny.” bers were admitted: Mr. Folger, Mr. George Robeson, not of the firm of Robson & Crane, and Mr. Ben Butler, who is earnestly seek ing Divine guidance that he may doright, Iwas then voted that each member write ont an account of Ais own speech, for pablication in the society journals, the meeting adjourned to the table with the readin the well-known I et_no man forg The following p himself and get f wom f night dell, a pa se are the sunt Thea strete Nothing's so ting groan, t wall Inty aweet a4 lovely melan Signs. a cup of tea in y ar ap. W get To avoid it, don't upset the tea is hot. il hear mysterious sounds in your room Sign that rats or robbers are a Use. r bers are more To avoid it, keep six cats, four dogs and several revolvers, or else sleep <0 soundly that you won't w up. To meet a cross-vyed friend, 18 a sig to him when | look at bowing to 8 that you'll bow isn't looking at you, and when he does iat you'll think he’s lookin, me one across the street. Result, hi think you are trying to slight him, and he will get mad. > avoud it, don't and quaintance of cross- mar cats * your window, is a sign air will soon be full of missiles and profanity e it to be unavoidable, Jem for ages ant finally dec ‘o look at an object and yject there very drunk. ead of one object is To avoid it, drink nothing stronger than © several, is a sign that th soda-water. To call on a fi ind a bent pin in the chair, n that there's a ten-year old boy in the family To avold it, look in the chair carefully before you sit down, To meet the same girl three times in the same even ing on the street, is a sign that she won't be home un- Ul she makes a“ pick-up." It takes a very watchful mother to 3 evil omen, To seo an old man dressed in the latest fashion, a atton-hole bouquet in his coat, a cane in his hand, his hair carefully licked over the bald part of his ad, is a si front seat at the variety theater. To avoid the evil part of the omen, avoud the widower. an zn he will be seen in th A WORD OF ADVICE. * Straighten yourself up, child, and look as if yer was somebody. Yer's got-as good a chance to be President of “That was right, Mr. Punycuss; der States as de rest ob your sez," comicbooks.com '