Judge — December 2, 1882 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE STRANGE ADVENTURES OF A NEW YORK HAC Tae autumn leaves aro falling, the year is on the wane. The steamboat-train comes puffing intoadepot on the Old Colony R. R. somewhere between Boston and Fall River, and the passengers for New York grasp thelr grip sacks, overcoata, ete., and prepare to board the train that is totake them to the Empire City. As it comes slowly in, let as glance at this group that at once announces the well-to-do New England farmer's family. First the farmer. ‘There he stands, the picture of health, bis ruddy countenance lit up with a smile of contentment as he turns to his wile d children, a grown-up son and danghter, to bid them good-bye, for Joshaa Vedder ts going to New York to do a few com- missions for Thanksgiving. Joshua, or * Uncle Josh * as those who know him call him, has been to New York bat once before in his fife. Boston had been his stamp- ing-ground; but that one visit to New York settled the question in “Uncle Josh's” mind, to say nothing of Liza,” his wife, as to the best emporium for every- thing that would make their home comfortable. And 80 it was settled that Uncle Josh should go up to New York and see his old friend the General, who, being a New Yorker, could show Uncle Josh round and make things pleasant for him. In due time that floating palace, the Bristol, landed Uncle Josh at the foot of Marray street, and be made his way to the General's office. There he found his old friend installed in all that comfort which prosperity and influence give to those who are success- fal. A hearty shake of the hand and Josh commenc: Waal, I be main glad to see ye, General. Liza, she sens ber love; sodo the boy and girl; and I got a list ‘vout as long a8 a telegraph pole to buy, and I kinder guess you'll hav9 to tote mé round like.” “First breakfast, and’ thea we'll seq"what's to be done,” replied the General, so they sallied forth to- gether. As they did -30,-a well appointed hack drove by, which the General hailed, and when the driver had drawn up to the curbstone, he turned to Josh with a twinkle in his eye and a look of profound cunning, and said See here, Joebua, we've got todo some tall run- ning round, Now here's a decent man who drives food cattle; suppose we bire him by the day, and we can get round comfortable, and at a small expense?” xor By WILLIAM BLACK. PART I. “Good!” replied Uncle Josh; *furst-rat she said to me, ‘Now be sure, Joshuay, you don't tire yourself.’ A bargain having been made, the pair were at once on their road, the General holding the check-string. As they were driving along Front street, the General gave a sudden jerk to the string that brought the dri- ver up to the sidewalk. “What's up ?” says Uncle Josh Never you mind, . Get down and se They alighted—alighted at Mr. EL C. Ramsden’s, 3 that street, and Josh followed the General into a private sane tum, where be shook bands with the most affable and polite of gentlemen, who at a wink disappeared, much to Josh's astonishment. “Say, General, what's up?” “Uncle,” said the General, “it's about time we moistened, and I'm going to introduce you to a her- erage which 1 guess is better than New Eng! cider.” Here Me, Ramsden appeared with a bottle of that shape that speaks of a frothy, sparkling liquid inside, known to the diltetante as Champagne de Mootigny. The cork being removed, the General commenced to magipalate, A lump of sugar in the bottom of each tumbler, and then he whispered in Mr. Ramsden’s ear: “Bell's Bitters, of course,” he replied; «we never use anything else.” “What bitters did you say?” says Uncle Josh. q “ Bell’, my boy,” replies the Geueral with 5 wink; “wait till you try them.” You When that mixture rolled down Josh's throat be simply stared. Where can T get them bitters 2” he cried. “Why, of Mr, James Bell, 31 Broadway, know where it is, General.” # Jeewillikens!” exciaimed ++ here goes for a case of that.” “ And now to breakfast,” suzzests the General. “Hold on a minute. I want some of that Mount- tinny, or whatever you call It; you just send it down to the steamer right away the worthy farmer, “Say, Josbua,” eaid the General, as they drove away, “that’s a queer-looking bat you've got on. If you wear that in Broadway the boys'll throw something at you.” “Well,” replied Josh, taking off the article In ques- tion, and surveying it ruefally, ‘it ts kiader homely Guess I'll get another. Where'll we go?” The General's head was out of the window {n no time, and the driver tarning sbarp into Broadway, pulled up at the corner of Fulton street. Need I say more? The ques- ton seems almost abeurd, for Knox the Hat- ter has earned for himself a repatation. not only in the United States, but almost all over the world. Uncle Josh gazed in astonishment at this vast emporinm devoted to bats. umbreilaa, gloves, walking-sticka, in fact, all the, 80 to speak, adjanctive parts of man’s costume. And then such hats as were shown to Uncle Josh! pne of your flimsy, re-done-up old goods, but eplen- jd material, elegant shapes, ight as gossamer; in fact, possessing those attributes that have procured for Mr. Knox the well-earned title of the *Lincola & Bennett of the West.” Then, the price; that aston- ished Josh, for be paid less for a Srst-class hat than he had dove for the second-quality covering which he bad worn, and now threw aside with disgust. And now to breakfast. A cozy restaurant was soon reached, and Uncle Josh, with a fine appetite, sat down to discuss the meal. “Say, General. I never could drink coffee or tea early in the morning. Cocva’s my drink, but I'm mighty pertickler about it.” : “Ob, don't you fret,” answered the General, “* Here, waiter, have you got Baker's Breakfast Cocoa? I mean Baker of Dorchester, Massachusetts. Ifyou bave—" “Why, that's what we have to bome,” exclaimed Josb. “That's the only Cocoa that's pure, you bet. It he's got that. I'm all right, Bring it right along, young mao.” And so they breakfasted, and then smoked until the hack drove up. But what did they emoke? A couple of Rodriguez's beat Regalia Reinas, that filed the room ue — — comicbooks.com