Judge — November 11, 1882 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE PUBLISHING CO, | 34 and 36 North Moore Street, N. VUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS. iy, oF 13 weeks 4a- FosTAGE FREE, ~~ Ade Tur depar ALISMING Co,, 34 and 98 North NoTice: ators must pat their valuation u ect to w price we may ourselves Mx), oF othe will he roganied as gratuitous, Stamps shonkd te tnclosed for return postage, with mame and address, if w wish to regain their declined the articles they Where Carroll will find Slocum. A rew days hence Mr. Howard Carroll will have an opportunity of asking his favorite question, ‘1s General Slocum here?” with a good chance of getting a reply. He will ask it as he peeps in at the door of the Chamber of Congress, and the answer will be, “Yea, he's here.” The Harmony Ball. are few jollier sights than a ball in its inception, when all is pleasantry ant fellowship, before dresses become torn and ¢ powder wears off the Indies’ and wine takes the place of brains in ads of the gentlemen. But many a ball begun under the best auspices breaks up in | a row. Kelly, Tilden, and Thompson are fiddling and dancing very harmoniously together just now, but wait till afer election Everybody is pleased now; will. anybody be pleased a week or so hence? Tri out the lights, shut up the ball-room, and don’t ask too many questions of the merry daneers. The Vanishing Glories of Jerome Park. Dear old Puritan Days! are we drifting back to them? The other dgy THE Jupce read a lette! morning contemporary from some individual who was anxious to revive an old law, preserved in the Boston statute books like a fly in amber, against smoking in the streets. To be sure, the fellow’s letter showed him to be both an ignoramus and a erank, but straws serve to show how the wind blows, And we have arrived at the pitch of Paritan asininity which forbids betting on horse-racing. generate into a camp-meeting ground, and our divines may take a reverend canter ronnd the traek over which the emulous thorough- breds have carried th hilarated thousands, Tae Jcper: has already taken occasion to animadvert on the need- | THE JUDGE. | going to do about it? Jerome Park wil! shertly de- | owners” colors to | victory amid the plaudits of delighted andex- | lessness of debarring citizens who have at- tained their majority, and presumably know their own business, from the excitement of a wager on a But the fact things are coming to such a pass, and our Gerghs and our Crosbys and our Gerrys are owing so meddlesome and bumptious, that New York has become accustomed to s ata gnat by way of morning exercise swallow & camel as an anteprandial cocktail. Meanwhile, the excess of virtue and piety which is floating around on the surface, and the excess of vice and rottenness whieh is al- | lowed to ferment undisturbed below, is rapid- ly rendering the atmosphere unfit to be breathed by the average citizen who prefers alike in his religion and his horse-race. is, moderation recreation. Tue workingman’s vote is a very impor: | ration with every political party, at a moment like this all are liberal with The hard-handed son of toil, however, has learned by bitter experience what these promises are worth, and how lit Ue importance politicians attach to their fal- fillment when their object has once been secured. He will be very slow to accept the pledges of either party now. To be sure, the Citizens’ ticket in the field, the workingman need not long hesitate where to cast his vote in the interests of gc ment; but as f¢ mises. with dd govern: r gaining any special advan- tage for himself, he has long abandoned that The workingman is beginning to think for himself; he will soon come to realize his power, and then several ines are liable to be smashed. Mean- while he is besought on all hands and re- mains unpledged—an en that will not be solved till he goes to the polls. hope fallacious. Mn. Cyrus FIELD owns the Mail and Ex- Mr. Jay Gould owns the World, Both ntlemen are naturally anxious to » public to read their papers, and the public, with a perverse objection to selimmo- lation, is by no means anxious to oblige tt Unfortunately, the pub on the elevated fortunately, Mr. Cyrus Field and Mr. Jay Gould have considerable local inthuence on the trains and platforms of those aerial structures, Therefore, the public is pestered | boys shouting “World” and “Mail and Express,” and life is made a burden, and ill- temper is engendered and avated, Nevertheless, the public obstinately won't read the papers in question, and what is more, it never will, let Messrs, Field and Gould charm never so wisely. So what are they these smpel th 1 to ride | and equally un- eis comp railroads, road mana s have de- cided that a gentleman who is smoking a ci- gar shall not go upon the steps or upon the platform of a station, The train may not be in sight, but the cigar must not be smoked he idea is that no unsmoked, badly odorous gars shall be carried into the cars. This is | right. The fumes from a dying-out cigar are sickening. The railway authorities should | a reduction | of Puck, Tam informed that in consider not permit any man to ascend a stairway, should not sell him a ticket, should not allow him to pass a box, or enter a car, while he holds a cigar in his hand. The fumes are bad. The man who has been abr night should not be permitted to go upon the elevated railway platform. His nose should be put out, Such noses frequently cause trouble, ‘The man whose pantaloons bag at the knee should be prevented from ascending the elevated railway stairs, Those L the knee may contain cigar smoke. with musk on their handkerchiefs should be excluded from railway trains of the elevated kind. Patchouli is a nuisance, white rose ence is suffocating, and wet shoes are in- ly mortifying. What the clevated rail- ly need is a smeller—a man who can passenger a checked indorsement avor. i over gs on nidies tens roads res ive evel a fine Dr. Hitt, of the Augusta (Maine) Hospital for the Insane, writes to ask if we can make from our regular sul price in favor of his institution, and also if we can furnish him with a few back bers of THe Jupce. We have but very few back numbers remaining unsold, our in- variable rule prevents us from making any reduction in our subscription price—$5_ per year. Dr, Hill further says : iption num- “In reply to a similar letter 1 to the office n of the Il furnish us for $3, Can you make us th of this institutic few dozen back numb charac and they | same offer?” We trust we may not appear churlish in Gur refusal, We have every sympathy with the afflicted people under Dr. Hill's care | sympathy which is increased tenfold by the knowledge that they will soon have to endure, in addition to their other sorrows, a few dozen back numbers of Puck. possible that the asylum 1 more patients whose lunacy can be traced 10 a perusalof that periodical. Tue Jupce can- not imagine a more dreaiiful fate than to be shut up with a few dozen back numbers of Puck in a pasded cell, where nd facilities are offered for suicide. His heart bleeds for those poor lunaties. At the same time, he cannot help congratulating his would-be funny con- It is not im- contain one or | temporary on the opportunity so. promptly embraced of:working off a large stock of un- sold rubbish ona lot of helpless lunatics.” Dr. Hill has opened_a wide field’ for our little Gerinan friend, and has introduced him to the only class in the conmunity capable of appre: ting his delicate hamor. Is Mr. Howard. Carroll an Irishman by natural selection? To.a Syracuse audience he remarked that “many men of Syracuse, with their brethren in other States, marched to the blood-red scene of battle where many of you laid down your lives.” After this the shade of Sir Boyle Roach may hide its diminished head. A JERSEYMAN, who lately fell heir to a con- siderable inheritance, immediately sent for a tailor to come and measure him for a coat-of- arms. comicbooks.com