Judge — October 28, 1882 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

m Ma. Hesey Warp Brecuen, Like heavy silk, 9 yout ‘ou have seced ther churches. u prop ay go. Do not stand uj Car loads of lemons are going from New san Francisco, In the latter city a lemo: lightly on the outside of th put on the inside; and it is cal 1a Californ| ris. What I puld happen Hugo is very fond of littl | eat of is himself; and if ne of the old ¢ 1 hours, he woul have a good J and look at the girls, after sc turn aron Ma. Howann Caw worst taste for y You are ne but yourself will assu to lecture the people to turn upon your patrons, and p them. You will be cut by Re | Carroll, not. bes but that you employed a whipper-snapper ing Gexenat Hansry, you are living to in St Loais. In the old in Indian fighters. You are. eighty-t honored for many years after your "s you were with flowers. You have recently been Tur Jepor is an old mau with a long m when you were ask you went hundreds of miles t yu don't want Or was it s« dian prot on, and yor said: kill the nits.” man who said it, General 2 bother ye Mr. Grover CLEVELAND, you, in yur h exptane a good many fair, plain things Ul heen said a thousand times before by | ticians. You are a sood monplace, wise 1 perhaps you ary better cranky genius; but you are not great in Hi Warning. Your danger Is that you will bec nd sloppy ike some of the half cans. Don't fly too many banners; don't many cheap fire-crackers; don't talk mock gool a ton bread, like a little boy Grover, you ai Do not try to make belie | you do so. | Aristotle or a and sensible, And by he ing, miksop of a d ey fasting, Swain, Tenney, Woodford and Stewart SeORETARY FRELINGHUYSES, You that is, you are one of the wo greatest m in the country is more of a gentle never ate pate de foi gras, and are s4, a bit of whisky is Tur Jenae is sick and tired of reading that Viet ers who walk ou Sixth a , it was at least in the t yourself far above ns, Mr. Howard use what you implied was not true, You will be the whites treat the Indians badly; bat, zene ton of the Ine an; you area safe, com- turtle; don't put sugar on your in dh a great man— | Jersey. The ot himsett out, You are probably as great as some men in other Sta be said of sou: No other man » less of a gentle: Jel from alt | to stand | pon the ore | Orleans to is rubbed ia sour, 1s fon who nomi nly no Dod old the best is plant sg th ry. Once ‘0 Washing. Indians to oul letter of ace had ‘imer poli- an a terature or off too turtle si you are a inan for that. It is mean stuff, and we mention the fact only to show that you are green and not a sham. You are an old lady of respectable st Knitting | qualities. You are not exactly a Sairey Gamp, but y | love the best tea. Your little cozening goat-whisk | on your Adam’s apple is probably meant to keep away | cols yet you sometimes catch coll. You are an oli | maid, an aristocrat and a brave politician, Tie Jens does not know a man more courageous in his political | opinions than yonare, You are morally firm in your up- per regions. You are a Christian gentleman. You pray every day, and we hope that you will not forget Tie Jvpex in your prayers; even the best of us need pray- Ing for. But, Frederick, your prayers will not avail | Mr. G. A. Hobart has laid a narron road to the United States Senate, and the Morris Canal cannot beat the Pennsylvania Railroad, A SUGGESTION LOOKING TO THE WELL bY SAPETY OF TH Ma. Styset Cox, you would make an able an t Mayor of the City of New York. as are of akind that would | in the pa In Congress yo Jepar would like Ml mere constitue: olf jokes would. shit room. Th over lividual In the Mayor's chair you cot Mayor Hall did resplendently inthe you could Your brass bi wave you wa Let the old Jepar 2 little ripple you sume adview, Latin quotations. We know that ye do not try to show it by quoting Latin. On the oth n't try to be popular, When ye yewashy. Why? Because you are a stro mixture of learning and of wit. You mix like the z powder, aml you are neither acid nor alkali op the carol; but try that you utralized man. You are 1 anners; but iv intluen Do not carry your humor into pr ; as you sometiines do. Do not be Neither the keepers will understand you, Be et Cox, you but you are You area young old nor youn: you sometimes a er have been. 5 al and you have been funn; lost child. A Clerical Error. Dear Jupce: Lwas office until a week i place the sequel will s A stranger dropped into. the office, and seeing only your humble servant, said, N body in, eh?” [felt my arms and pinched my legs to make sure, and answered, “No: the boss is at dinner, and Tam out in the back yard throwing stones at a eat.” He clerk in adown-town How 1 lost’ my how, looked surprised, and desired to know what T meant, Ttold him that the loss of his e: bea cht must his buy- eat drawback, and sugg 1 Spitz dog to lead him around. He evidently thought there was something insulting in this remark, because he said: “Young man, you're too fresh. step outside of the counter I will If you will show you a tons | | An explanation was demanded. ING OF PERAMBULATING CRANKS E PUBLIC, AND THE thing or two.” ly inquisitive, 1 | stepped outsic n he immediately dis. played a desire to knock me out @ la John L. Sullivan, There was no alternative but to | mingle with him. In about a minute I had him down, and taking satisfaction, when my | employer came in and ended the I told my story. My employer listened attentively; but fancy my surprise when he said: “Mr. Dig- this gentleman whom you have insulted bused is my son, Draw your salary to of the month and leave my plac I left. Yes, the young man was to- night.” son I had not seen before; so here 1 an without a situation, and my only suit nearly destroyed by the contlict, Itscems hard that my first attempt at re- forming. ain class of imbeciles should have met with such a Waterloo, I will never try it agai Yours ce sorrowfully, Jonas DIGGLES, Byroy, the poet, was one of the boy knew just what he wanted to say when he wrote: “Tis sweet to hear t Bay deep-mouthed welcome as we draw ne watch dog's honest bark, home,” Plumb full at 2 a. M., and thus giving the whole basiness away to. the old woman, who, with club in hand, awa as thus described: “Tis aweot to know there is an eye to mark Our comi ter when we come.” Yes, look so bright that we take our boots off to get in unobserved. UNrQuaLep attractions for a ‘show: Uen-pecked husb; poultry Viviseetion extraordinary: Cutting one's friends. comicbooks.com