Judge — October 21, 1882 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

OUR POPULAR FARCES. REPORTED BY “EDS OUR POLITICAL AUTOBIOGRAPHERS, CHakacTERS Rrronter, Me Serse:—Furm-yard upon the valley, Tame, p feeding the duc RAL Moharck or any other Mrs, Renat sin the garden, E inter REPORTER Reporter. Goolalay, maiko Mrs. Good-day. Who air you? Stranger reound these parts t Keporter.—Yes, 1 will frankly confess that Lam, Mrs. R.—Young man, if you air a sewin; nt, Lhave one; if it air lightni flying in the face of the Lord by a any manifestation of His w emptin’ to av th by artiticial safeguan and if it be books, we hev a hull library, + Farmers Almanac of 1843," to Webster which last isa very interestin’ work, if it would o stick to one subject. If t's soap, why, L her — Keporter.—Bex pardon, Mes, Rural, but you mistake my errand. [am not bat sim rom the you upon Mrs. Re (prowlly).—Ain't you her tell of him Abi ural? Why, he’s a Misrepresentative or a Diasenter, of something from this deestrick. Nuthin’ happened to 'B is there? Main't hern from the boy for quite a long while, come to think, He ain't at Keporter nominated of the people Ht No. i mai Your so am. has been the hig St positi ns in the gift Lawks, they ain't been and ns inated for Governor. Mrs, R—Da tell! What will Alvina Menbaden hears a t Emnst pnt and tucker and tell Alvina of it right Well yon may. Ye fectly natural; worthy orter, Sel v Heavens, no! He has been no! when st nar! ‘porter velings are y Hoppy thought! mother jnst the way to besin my ar ticle A representative of the Weekly Firlsitier, happenin; » in the vicinity of the birthplace of ox for Governor, Rural, called on his mother for a few particulars regurding the life of our worthy candi early prions stand rd-bearer. indeed, #0 U al th Luck was upon our repr speak, he was doubly fort happy chance to meet he nate, he felicity of being the first to tell her t Nidat , Mrs R. (in alarm), F while be vyed the bi ews of her sc Air you a newspaper man t Reporter.—Lam. Mrs. R.—Then, you . there's the gate. Ita open, and I will trouble you to but it behind you as quick as you kin. The last newspaper feller what was here came jess after ‘Bednego hail st and Harbor somethin’, and he was 60 mice and & thas I blurted out that ‘Bednego had ‘peared to h lots of money ever since he had voted with a Robber's sich New Jersey feller. That newspaper feller put it all in the paper, and "Bednezo came down here an’ cried; sald Twas an unnateral mother, who had ruint his perlitical career, and that “if Tgav more of my jaw to any infernal newspaper son of a a Billof a River Son, oF 80 any | that hifatntin me THE JUDGE. THE JUDGE are cordially invite liar to be put in the lunat Mrs, Rural, the Weekly Fulsifier admires is his friend. We believe him to be the nesty, probity, and di ou, dear Mrs. thful days to work into a landa- them was ‘Ted tition for me he'd pee asyl your s arna i ion of virty AIL require of facts reganding bis yc tory autobiography Mrs. R. (hesitatingly).—W won't hart ‘Tesh Reporter.—Itis for his good, Now, while [ lempo- x myself to this milkin: favor me with a few ancedc Mrs. R.—Lawiy, what a have, You want to find out, Ic: f word) rarily a -stool will not you kerlate, out of all what kind of a youngster “Bednego wast Reporter. Precisely. Mrs, R- Well, if bdo nationest child I ever raise Allus a-kickin’ and a-3q could do he’ so, Bednego w and 1 raised six nel no matter what you keep on a-kickin’ and a-squallis I've got that down, went to school when he his older op him when be eame back. .—That’s noted. When he grew up about all he would do If he coubin’t lick a boy with his fists he'd lay bebind the stone wall for him with a brick. Nearly knocked the brains ont of Elijah Hokim’s hired boy; that it was somebody else. But, ‘Beduezo acted anly about it. ‘Pologized to the hired be 1 2 him a new bean-snapper and a melon-vine trumpet s three y brother Shadmach Mrs. R. was tight. to keep t Report He was fond of literature? Mrs. R.—Reatin’ ? Reporter.—Yes. Improvement of the mind—Lelles lettres, history, the classics, etcete: Mrs. RV or your classics, but ‘Bednego was awful fond of readin’. One day his father sent him to take the cows down the road to the south ler. "Bedneg didn’t come back, instead, "hont noon, Deacon Harris eame to the house and said that if we dida’t take our put of his s Then we looked for "Bednego. Where do you suppose we found him t Keporter.—Wher? Mrs. R.—Uniler a tree. n't know much about your belleletters idea he'd pound them, Report a Mrs. R.—Yes. Reporter (excitadly).—Oblwious to all that was about? t » walk through the grounds, Mrs. K.—Must have pon his athe st of ants, while a in, for his & ke w pund his les ye book was dog-cared, tattered, crum: Yes. It was a copy of Plutarch, Livy, Jose- —No, it wasn't It wa Roun man, I smell my preserves ory hook called ero Marble Eyed Jake, Bless me, alla boiling over, You will have to excuse [Beit Mas. Renat stool, scratches head thoughtfully Revorter arises from milking= Reflects for «t Well I gues? Lean snake up enough for (Writes): kindly gave our representative a few i youth of her distinguished son. 3 of character w as Mrs. R. fondly said, in a el porter stick or 80, Mrs. Ru facts relat When a baby, his markabl “Growit great—re- #0 young, all pugna- kK, a term, J antagonist will before the end of this campaign, to have been appropriately ap- plied. “Ono which his politic e occasion, actually testified b id enemy with that he bore no ill-will towards “Mr. Rural was His mother te iz Vanquished a enemy, he far a8 to present nts, a8 a token ways noted for his studiousness, with pardonable pride that once, when sent with the custody of some cows, I the day, th Where was our candid Beneath the U slate in hand, try tra he immor inal Greek. M. bt space forbids. And alter refasing a hearty inv tion from Mra, Rural to stay, our representative left.” cows erstwhile foun anches of a hoary oak, pencil and wit al youtliful zeal to I" Hiad* froma copy int y more such anecdotes could be t (Certaty.) sa Smile Waiting for Me at ‘The bold, bad composer neglects to say whether the smile is in thedemijohn under the stationary tub: > on the top shelf in glass. ny Home, is the title of a new song, SMELTS arrive in New York packed in snow. smelt is not smelt. hus prepared, « comicbooks.com