Judge — October 14, 1882 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A LA MODE. Tur moths My love And when cold winter cot oft rit he lack, Then h Grundy set, mother, Shall ip their tongues a And say I'm out of st dust wait and you shall led my saeque, mother, mother, There's Algernon de Snobs, 1 . Of Murray Hill's swell” pack, You know f tirst “mashed” him, mother, By we He thought ps (Poor pra in bankraptey,) Te must be rich, mother, \ but now LIL lose {fool danghter, Menceh ye furlined x rth shall « rh, becunse, «ai shin and plush are cheap, Aud dyed I e finest fur, dauzhter, mut fille, to Wi 111 raise for thee in time, daughter, 0 you With Marray Hil And still **eateh ¢ Without « daughter, high*pack, 9 "to Alz. daughter, sacque. Owning the Corn. ‘Tue gentlemanly conductor of one of our street cars observed a stout country-woman, one of bi s. fussing with her foot. Presently he approached to collect her fare “How * inquired the lady from the ‘Five madam,” re- sponded the courteous official. And none too much if you don't burt,” replied the lady, foot, which by this time she bad joe and stocking, within the pnductor’s vision. ‘The passet rs were astonished, the man of the bell- punch petrified. He did not even pause to ascertain if the proifered foot were fair. He ouly knew it was not the kind of fare he was after, Subsequent explanation brou: light the factsthat the unsophisticated pas: senger had mistaken an adve ment in the r fora shingle setting forth a branch of business not yet associated with our strect- car travel. The advertisement read, ‘Corns extracted without pain.” The chirepodist's address bad been overlooked.” muc ounti cents, protruding divested of range of the A Very Hard Case “Hear myitale! Two weeks ago I was a millionaire; my pocket-book was plethor with bills, my checks would be honored—aye, up to five figures, at. more than one bank; my credit was.unimpaired. You wouldn't think it to look atte. Would you have ree- ognized me a month ago ha@ you seen me sweeping by in my carriage?” “More than likely you wouldn't have recognized me,"” answered the struggling artist whomthis willly-talking stranger had ..batton-holed, “No, young man, no. I never was one of THE JUDGE. that kind | every pas | And went t I always recognized ic him one better, veryhody; hy on the s 1 saw — interrups ul irreverent artist. Young man, don’t be frivolous, return to my wealth.” By I've no objection to accepting a V, | all mea na when we just show there's no ill-feeling. | Let us retarn | to my w } the stra th, the pursued ru 1 owned er, Without noticiy “My w wansion on Fit avena drinks with in tion, wore diamonds; Vanderbilt “Did you m capitalists?” sai ing. “With the utmost ¢: an indifferent player. He labored under the | hallucination that his cue w pole, and manipulated it would spend hours in front of stretching a piece of twine a upright timbers, under the he was securing control of a new tel line. nage Lo wax these doughty the artist, again interry se. day Gould w telegraph lingly. Me a rack of cues, ng the slender, impressio raph 4 And what sort of game did Vanderbilt play?” “ Very inditferent indeed that the balls w be runon s His theory was > rolling stock, and should ule time. Consequently, while he was waiting till a certain bali was due in a givea pocket, [ had “ Peculiar!” © But ple drinks and | same time ac nt and_ profitable, ‘ I got my and at the uired much valuable informa: tion as to running a railroad and manipulat- i Western Union grab.” nothing, But how did you became reduced in so brief a space to yous present—ah, ah—ten! niosity 7” queried the artist, | | porary im puttin as he siz the question as delicately as he could, Lup his interlocutor from the d ed crown of his hat to the stocking which peeped through the apertures in his well-ventilated shoes. “T have no one but m: the other, with a hea’ reckless, criminal extravagance has reduced me to this sorry plight. Lister weeks ugo T spent a few days at Niagar The expense was enormous, but my income was princely, and might have stood the strain, but in an evil hour, on the very last day, I engaged a hack for three hours to drive me to the different points of interest. | Need I say more ?” . “Tis needless,” replied the ing the other's hand sympathetic “Tam end nite ss toes If to blam said sh. My own rtist, wring- ally. to raise funds to pur. hack for myself,” pursued the arily; ‘*T must find means to ortune speedily. for Thi ties to meet in the fall- —" The artist mentally determined that this was avery hard case, bat in what ve heavy gnifi- cance to construe his own thoughts he h no time to determine, for the stranger's next remark touched yet more de anything that had_ gone before. “And with that object Iam soliciti him ly than ‘Three | 1 generosity seript charitably be believe Fido when T The aude t us from the towed. overestimate your s you for a quarter, he did, agement and hurried uy rtist: believed and 1 e the str abashed or disheartened, butte: he saw stranger, in nowise his Lale ing clergyman and recommency In case should crown the ' 1 man's efforts, artis lo 1 nard he is a determined fellow, and he evidently pL even, pat the hack-riding public on its x 1 mmeaus te “DROWNING men ecateh at L It quotation is not correc should re uking men, ete, If you don't win the next lot ore notoriety than if you had put a dose of buek-shot into one of t Aim high! may = hit the stars, you mebody" 1 get into | planets, A WoULD-ne funny about the w Jon't like to man writes 1 We but this ther, and spells it wethur. iticise a good attempt seems like the worst spell of weather we ever experienced, A spooN touches a girl's lips without kiss ing them, ‘That is the reason they eal low who don’t know anything a spoon, Tue physicians of Paris attribute the in- crease of insanity in that city to the use of br We would suggest that it nay arise from the misuse or abuse of the artic ndy. , if we had not long ago made up our minds that a Frenchman is lial t hopping mad about little or nothing in his soberest- mo- ments J 1 ting in yods by the back way all the time, vhile you are selling ol at t in front, low te" said a litle German and street to lis Hebrew nei, I guess 1 sell off at gost astomer vot he buys, don't it?” replied the indignant Isaacs. | “Say, Isaaes! I see you are store. he ven keeper on ( “Vell, bo A GANG of burglars cracked a bank next oor t They worked They | | they din‘t tack plumbing establishment. at, and. only been kicki the plumber’s place. ve sinc A Coxe Istaxp other day confessed to having participat | thirteen * put-up’ it ranged beforehand which horse was to win. He ought to have die heen in only thir have ridden in ove jorse-jockey who died the lin ‘aces, whe 3, Was ars jockey that has en put-up races r ten, | ouldu't SUMMERBREEZE went round to the butcher's il, “Look here, old fellow, in. some countries beef is legal tender, but your durned stuf wouldn't be tender if the at Albany should tumble on it, or the whole As- } sembly.” | | | and new capite Kissinc a married woman through frient ship to her husband doesn’t wash, | comicbooks.com