Judge — October 7, 1882 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. dramatist, must either get fat | SwinBuRNE is coming | Algernon Charle noussh for one His present | appearance is a constant so avation to the II boy, who has always yearned to spread an um- : brella on the top of legraph pole. jcan do it every time. If Osca ly Wu should the editors of the Merald or the Times | Poct, Swinburne ix a poet, pure and simple feel aggravated if Jay Gould gets control of certain | (wonder if anybody ever called him a pure newspapers? He is not a born jouru: - | poet before 7), and when he gets here, and test would only be between skilled journalism and the | gy an hour ‘Before Dawn” with a aaa hace ni ue malaria “Dolores” ‘In the Orchard,” and afer: imies te Giaik the mianiclug wa cends the lecture platform to tell us fitellectual té sind io feel thal every day all about it, the author of “Charmides” will posi public during the long illness of | glide trembling into the calyx of a lily, and Garfield alarm- | whisper to the bees and other insects who come to prospect for honey and things, that Ir is extremely aggravating to tind you have accepted | ie is the only great and original ( who Fortra of the man wha sme the last Sen a Urens-eent eco fora quarer, eapecaty wheo W18 | invented the sunflower and discovered the up Wo the clgaratand,.witt sive tathertn ous beauties of horizontal stripes on the law, and called in a \y ma , for “two for a | lining of an actress’ cloak. cd by the success of Oscar W., is goii see him and go him a few bette Sin Garver Worsecey’s soldiers, owing to some failure to connect in the commissar iat de- Ir Is aggravating, when you want to finish your partment, were obliged to go for twenty-four tofind the front platform of your street-car mo- hours on a biscuit apiece. And yet it is the | nopolized by three pursy men, who are not smoking, b : : : > Egyptians who are called fellahlecn. Surely, | are amnsing themselves by seeing how nearly they ean | Published in New York, What the Irish na- on such a diet, they wouldn't call a Higlander | 9% the rail with their stomachs, while keeping their | tion is doing in America—and what the Irish a folie fat c of the nation (whieh our geographics teach us is an cause he | integral part of the British Empire) is any- aaa a ihe Peconic void ‘© | how, are questions beyond the acumen of His at hit at herefore, vw ul + . . _ " Honor to determine. A careful study of the head as a great popular favorite, which he . 2 tal and the Pema, | Paper in question, however, partially answer: Answer—Keep the mice full of cheese, which y. This isan aggravation, | at least the first qu There are two prom: Brrore Tie Jupcr lies a copy of the Irish Nation, a paper which, singularly enough, is AGnicuLTenist writes to know how to keep seeds from the depredations of mice? eve they prefer, when they can get it, tions in order toget | inent advertisements on the last page. One to seeds, himself called u fc h. Me wants to keep | js the card of a lager beer brewery; the other is a little animated tooth-brush | js the picture of a ritle. Obviously the Irish whe bristles have >, rsi)e9 Ha ion has removed en masse to New York in the gullet of those who are weak enouzh to us witli a view of hoisting in a sufficient quan- Garnus lasuin Hewntne; the big panical tity of fighting material (what our ancestors who shakes his head fr ber when he Hed Dutch courage) at the brewery, to en- talks, has played the e for all itis worth. | able it to fire off the gun. If the brewery His mouth would provide good motive power for a | 4 + not give out, the freedom of Ireland will 4 draught from such an orifice | doubtless soon become an accomplished fact. would probably azsravate a well-conducted windmill to the extent of furling its or introducing the —. captain bodily into its nery ag an extra crank. Reres W. Prexuaw is charged with acting like a] big sissy. Some would find this an aggravating charge. “ow have the mighty fallen?" Well, some slip up on a banana skin, some use the money of the bank for speculation, and fail OORLYN assininity is greatly resy feat of Slocum and the nomination of lyn always antagonizes New York ‘ : Ir is extremely aggravating, when you have selected | pecially that part lying around the City Ha to connect, and others fall in coal chutes in peach, to find that a wasp has pre-empted the fruit, | countriest place in the State. Even the men a the dark. and resents your intrusion, there dress more Like bumpkins than the men in the Exevatep railroad conductors, during the evening, | St Lawrence woods; b "Lagera rook- ie ie must no longer talk to their young lady friends in the | lyn, for Brooklyn knows no better, and the brid; “ AN aught is nothing,” said the merchant, cars. They may forget the 8 cates but slowly as he added one to his customer's bill, Ir must b man like Jay ¢ ing round ina tw and refusing to pay more for one either. Ir must be very ay how, when the cruel war is over,to have to come home and do the police-courts and aldermen's meetings, Wintiam Watrer Pieces bas returned to his red neck-tie and slouch hat. He isn’t a Horace Greeley, and must not aggravate mad bulls and turkey gobblers Grover CLEVELAND bas lived on political pap from the very beginning, even when he was a papoose, avating to some people to find him fed with such al at the eleventh hour. AM TT Vaxpernitr was having a silly dispute | with Frank Work concerning a quarter of a sec¢ the speed of their horses, wh his railroad was so inetfic in a amash-up. Ir was v ent to find the Egyptian war closed in ad as he bad just received a fresh invoice of stationery, per nd had succeeded in squaring the military F, $0 a8 to get his matter through. Tuere is nothing more aggravating, on aday w combines rain with wind, than the devi with which the latter element will always find its way tothe concave surface of your umbrella, no matter Y P JOB ON ONE OF THE FINEST. + what angle you hold it Got a right to sit on yer front stoop, hare yer, and spite de effect of ule landscape? comicbooks.com ‘