Judge — September 30, 1882 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE PUBLISHING CO, ‘34 and 36 North Moore Street, N.Y. VUBLISHIED ONCE A WEEK. Dy, one sear, oF bers. ths, oF 38 numbers. STAGE FREE “6 and 94 North Moore St, N.Y NOTICE: rors must pat their valoation apon the article * fx) amps +f a they fio a pe omer: as 1 he M postage, with name apd address, if write wish to regain their wise they w as gratultows, § Inclosed for t rs J. Bull Rejoices. . rather! And, indeed, he has good ons for so doing just now In Egypt his muskets have been pushed Ht into the heart of the eneu i <miles upon the red cross “ome” ll talk ther ve has finally sue Jin taking the I out of a Yankee boat-erew that went for the express purpose of making him sick, and his visiting mili have done what they have never been able to do before, win a vietory on Ameri So why should be not rej up? Why should he not forget Ins gout, and sive of his delight? Why risky and whang the national should he not forget and, for the moment, and stand upon his bald-head if he wants to? It really need not mar bis happiness in the least to see how sick Brother Jonathan looks over the iness, for he knows that it is not omplaint (having had it so often nd that he will, in all probability, recover from it. Yes, let J. Bull, F may not always be i amen un soil, re and whoop it caper about expr should he not be tomtom? Why xadetly, fre a lasting himself), ., rejoice, tor the day He able to be temporarily knocked out at any time, often has been Laugh, Johnny, we will try and stand it as well as you have heretofore. he so. Home Again “ Cuet" is a jolly good fellow, a good President, and he prob: near to the American i Executive. Lately he has been enjoying his vacation, He has been slobbered over by the snobs of Newport, but, finally escaping from them, he has been away down on the coast with con- genial friends, and enjoyed thoroughly the va- cation he was entitled to. Now he comes back after his season of fish- ing and recuperation, and rings the door-bell of the White House. ‘Vacation comes very aman and an is over; that | He is also | THE JUDGE. now to business again!” he cries, in his cheery tones, and again the wheels of government move with renewed vigor after the just and needed vacation, Our Coroners. We boast of ecivili nd yet we have a set of ghouls in office who have more influ- ence for good or evil than they oughtto have. | ‘They are undoubtedly a very bad Jot, and their conduct proves it. To know that they even have runners out looking up business (payin; it), a commission on ud that they quarrel in public over what they claim to be their “cases,” and eall each other hard names, is quite en inybody of their status, ‘To know that they | gather like vultures around the death-bed of | anybody who is dying without an attending | physician, waiting for the ‘ vod rr | to wrangle like so many vultures over its pos | session, is to get an idea of what they are. ‘ew Yorkers, are you not proud of them 7 ugh to convine ady Politics as an Logeth Abstract Idea Mex what rig! ciation. They call for whatever they want right? By virtue of the talismani “Set ‘em up again. nd By virtue of the right of ¢ come L? conve By what formula, They get up a convention, By virtue of the Magna ¢ ‘y, the Ukase of the Boss, Stupendous outcome of vague possibilities ! The unknowable embraces the unwilling; the heeler clutches the locks of the delegate. Hoodlumism has no scope. ‘There nothing ro does not exist. Everything is Nothing is nothing. 3 take something. By what right’ \1 arta of the Prim- is no something. Then let of anoth From the inner consciousness of the spirit of “ Make” was evolved T the W wam, Jolin Kelly, Cornell sprang into power by means of this | Cat the wires | mamany, evolution, | There has been ever a Ring in Gotham, ard Rings are the links of polities. Man is but a circle with a single center: h | is an ellipse with two foci. John Kelly is the | ellipse, Frank Spinola and Pat Duily are the foci. ‘The Conventions are facts, and accomplished ones at that, The true division of parties is this: the luminous and the dark. ‘The luminous are those who stay away from Conventions; the candidates are those who are in the dark, To learn to scratch a ticket is to kindle a fire; every scratch is a scintillation. | The impact of the head against a post in a dark cellar is also a scintillation. ‘The condition of the cranium after an inter- | view with Captain Williams’ club is also a scintillation, It is a galaxy of stars. Ilimitable genesis of formless nominations. ‘The ballot clasps hands with the Conve tion, vieror ar | But some of the female slaves wore han Ir Jimmy Husted is really “an old cow,” | can it be said of him that when he drinks a fizz he is a cow with a crumpled horn? Misty yellow autumn is here. Abt th are the days of the golden doze. THe ancients had no machine-ma sandals, Way does a negro alw ve a s grunt when he strikes his ax into a tree It is only a little bew and ery. } A westersy’s life, make the b *hon-dram ” sort of an existen Wes a good dog dies be goes to the * Hap: | py land of Canine. often Os the journey of life a“ bunion” hinders the “Pilgrim's Progress. ARaBI appealed to the Lord of the Sun for victory. Now he is looking up at the night from his imprisonment, and is Arabi bay- ing the moon. Ir is unnecessary to say that the new ture of pepper and salt in dr seasonable, REIGN letters of credit:” “A DEAD swindl ‘The undertaker's ‘TABLE of interest: The dinner-tabl Wuere we are most likely to find the sky blue: ‘The nearer we get way to the “milky A MATHEMATICAL line may be straight, but the lines in geology’are strata Favorite matrimonial saint: St. Bride, Wuar is the re mark aer it? Reason enough. perfeet of blow, blew? of a blow leaving a blue Is not the ‘THe extreme of patience: Waiting while a stuttering man gets through the word ppp | p-pre-p-p-p-p-pos-s-s sss LELLterous, REGARDING the s it is generally considered un, a lady's age, we shall give the tit of her sex, and will age to anybody. ge of the moon: Inasmuch ullant to tell 100n the bene- ay—nothing about her Positive assurance of a © g : New York police magistrate said the other day he ‘had a great mind to commit the prisoner.” How to prove an alibi: Have a lie by. (Respectfully dedicated to the Dorsey-Brady firm.] . Pressep 0! money is gone, change! ‘The spendthrift’s comicbooks.com