Judge — September 23, 1882 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

man, That is a fatal mistake. In failing to make this customary and pleasing allusion to the maiden’s sire, you are swooping down with the reader upon the shore of a trackless, unknown sea,as it were. “Then you cannot use the story 7” queried oung man, in desperation. “Not at present,” confessed the editor, Perhaps when the general public shall have become educated up to your style—whieh, in | its wild, dashing scope of originality, somehow | reminds me of the Congressional Globe—we shall come to you, and on our bended knee implore you to manipulate your giant brain in our behalf. Till then, my dear boy, adieu.” Couldn't Love Him. Summersereze’s oldest daughter has been receiving attentions lately from Mr. Coupons, who the other evening proposed to her. ‘The old gentleman and lady have both advised her to marry him, but she don’t seem to take very kindly to him, ‘They used all the argu- ments they could think of, his wealth, good looks, tine connections and splendid prospects being cited as great inducements. Finally Summerbreeze remembered her love for horses, and said, “If you marry him, my dear, you can have a dog-cart and span of grays, and kill all the neighbors’ danghters with envy.” “I know it,” sighed Sarah, “but I don’t love him, T can’t love, and I can't rry him unless I love him, Why, [ could'nt love him if he kept a livery stable.” Lapy, to a green, illiterate clerk, in’ a country bookstore; “Have you Ouida’s *Moths?'"" Clerk, politely: “*No'm, we only keep writing paper and books here; but you'll be likely to find ‘moths’ down yonder, in th fur store.” Ovn Jewish fellow-citizens thought that they had ruined the Hilton-Stewart estate, because the judge wished to retire from busi- ness, But they did not offers the Russian exile fund $10,000, Jews will take the money. Will they ¢ saying that they ruined Hilton? The judge now AN English officer in this country ing that the scarlet uniform of the British is intended not to show stains of blood in bat- tle. ‘Hm! said an American officer, “the American uniform is intended not to discour- | aye our soldiers by showing any loss of one blue blood, Oy Fifth avenue, at Central Park, about dusk, two Irishmen saw the bi speed ing along. Said one of them: “ Patsey, d'ye see thim byes ridin’ on the top of their hup- ples?” “Ab, Moike, thim's not hupples; they're boysuckles.” Patsey, did we have boysuckles in the old country?” ** Divila wan, But we had some foine foights, bedad.” Ix one of his eloquent outbursts, Bob In- gersoll asked: “What conld the angels the avalanche?" We guess they said: ‘ Well, let her slide.” ‘Tite parsons are back again from their long | “1 steayt,” said vacations, and our churches were opened for pipe; but it ended in smi the season again Jast Sunday, In the mean- | time the devil, who es not mind the heat, | to buy a new hat “TL amecbated,” said the eel, as he pas they say, has heen having things pretty much | into the whale’s mouth. “How Jonah 2" his own 1 by the time the parsons have succeeded in undoing what he has done, i will be hot weather in and time for an other vacation with the preachers, What a pity it is that we The Judge at the Play | Miss Dox asa pretty woman, and a clever one to boot * . * | but takin A Dau, of the Nile” could work in the vineyard without being | gars of opinion that, with all her cleverness. a afraid of a sunstroke prettinesa, she cannot write a play. What her 4 aven't a few parsons who s bilides for the future may be is a matter of no concern THerr was one thing that Phipps did not i neta had phanncrndibe He eo teal from the Philadelphia almshouse, and iiie for approval. "A Daughter of the Nile” ie that was the cooking stove, but tl ‘faulty | son he didn’t do so most likely is that it ws | kept red hot all the time. izinal creation of character, hy attempts lo cateh ¢ in. construction, overburdened with dial (clever as that dialogue is in . wanting in any 1 throughout 1 Tittle tricks and bizarre effects unworthy of puredramaticart. The letter of Oscar Wilde, whieh the m nent a ANOTHER gous-youplease six ing a ht Well, we haven't nn adve am, is charac hands as England has, and we suppose it is , writer, but of the play. After a fow & | but right that we should have some other af: | 1! , the only point on which the smart ast | ftiction otters anything approaching a criticism is ov af a clouk lining. That Miss Don will attract the public ane mak | haps posaible: that hee f oney for a season oF two Is per- {the New York pretty complimerts 1s ns from their steamboat, ont of the reach | likely; but that she has written or ever will write a Tiey have a Salvation Navy France, and the jolly ¢ ars sing and spin | tte asin delee j of unmarketable hen fruit, and are ereating | ;/1, in the tru ofthe term, is quite anothe quite a sensation among the dock rats there. | "ter ——— Miss Mitchell has wisely withdrawn that dire fatare hotels are getting to look very | ~ Ela.” and is now playing jook mpon as one of her m THE sea-sic much like last season's birds’ nests. — Marion Elmore has also classed herself among the | ‘There is agrowing impression in New Jer. | ise ving clously altering Chispa,” and | sey that George M. Robeson will not be re | proving tl turned to Congress. * Patience,” at the Bijou, will be a The cast _ is strong, but Miss Russell sloes not seem to have prof | ited by her recent holiday Howson's Bunthor | _Wues a young man k though it ia no Bunthorne, and is Os i wilde andl night about 1:30 a.0., he may have nearly a | Henry Irving inequal proportions is clever and fanny. | mile to walk before reaching his home, and | We were amused, by the way, to seo Messrs, Dowson | he envies his girl, who, he supposes, jumps | an! Wille amicably discussing their supper together into bed and is fast asleep ten minutes after | er He performanes | he leaves the house, He doesn’t know that she must first fish seventy-nine hair-pins out of her head, one ata time, and twist her hair up into bits of paper so that it will crimp nicely next day, and that he is in bed snoring before she turns off the gas. Ifhe wasaware | The eof which was predicted of this fact, perhaps he would leave earlier, | before Its producti aan & Hart's stanchest frienda, has z ean iably a , , than any of the new ventures which were all going to IP thin Ingalls, of Kansas, is the piccolo of | ne such startling successes, So much for the prophet- polities, David Davis must be the trombone. | ical powers of the * profeasio es his girl Taken from Life, has indeed taken ren the melodramatic tof Olivette,” at the Meazar 1, oF you ean —s B55 a Lai 3c4 bd fe a SaaeN ame oamiaimii sas comicbooks.com