Judge — September 16, 1882 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

A Fly's Cogitations. (AND Tits IS HOW HE COGITATED.) “TL wosper what this man is d just light on his bald head hear what ts going on inh an | thinkery what he sav: Wi I went away just as quick as L saw him r his hand, ly, he could not compla that. Maybe he but if'so, he cannot say but that [lit out at hisfirst hint. But he seems quiet enough now. Maybe his scalp itched or something, and his movement had no reference to. my being on it, so I guess I willtry itage What old bald head this is, to be sure, only it’s a trifle shppery. It would make a first-rate | skating-rink; guess Twill try it. Whew! | Why, the man hit his head again, Funny way he has with him; and if I hadn't got out of the way just as I did, goodness only knows | might have happened ime, He struck and if he had hit me there is no | knowing bat that he might have hurt me. Sut maybe he hadn't any idea of hitting me. I guess I'll just light on his nose and see what the matter is with him. What! Why, he seems to be an awfully sensitivesort of a man, ne hg adful temper. Why, tually hit his own nose a slap just be cause | crawled around on it a bit. Queer sort of achap, anyway. Wonder if he thinks a fly has no rights in this world? Now, 1 will try him in the ear, Ah! I have got him now! Good gr: ! he came within an ace of hitting me that time. Wonder what | 13 avyhow? [should think he was «dabout something. ll try his other ear and see how he likes that, Ah! he don't em to mind this one so much, Ah! by Jingoes, he must have hurt himself that time with that bat on th But it’s his not mine, so what should Teare? [think I'll try that skating-rink again, after [ go up his nostrils, Well, well, what is he striking at It must be that he don't like my at. tentions, but I'll take another turn on top of | his head now, and hay Now, I wonder ly for? , the ma n of thought I was intruding, or el got ad he rious, > me: now ? some fun while he is | ting over b E Well, ll be hang ning stark mad. Sc around the room! S arms around as though the air “1! the fellow is ran- him dance and caper him flop and ding his was full of “How happy could I be with dear charmer arcay. THE JUDGE. Hying demons, Funny, isn't it? He don't s me up here, but he is looking wildly around though he wanted to fight’ somebody. Oh ! Fil just try his temper a bit further; Pl on where his hair 's short behind, Ah round here in this stubble awh that. 1 ean get aw of that kind every ti y from a demonstration hin in, more he paws the air in the immedis ity, but Tam out of harm's way, ha! ha! Now he is red in he looks like a boiled lobster, around the room and ! Nowh qu down a tr nd has resumed writing ag: Ah! he smiles! Must be he has got on to an I wonder what itis? I'll just take a quiet walk over that thinkery again,and maybe I can catch on to what itis. What in the world is be making his sealp go this way for 7 1 would think he wa thing off. Oh, Pl just get a grip on here and hold on for awhile. No, he can't shake me Off; no, no! Ah——!" ‘There was sounding whack: that lively ide r fly, oh! where was he ? Ask ¢ as he vie the edito red his who smiled triumphantly ined h The Secret Out son that Governor Cornell refused to favor the English team with a military es- cort on their landing and while at Creedmoor is no longer a see We and crowd out other important matter in order to lay that cold erect bare before a hoodwinked world. Governor Cornell is in league with the F nian skirmisher: votes about this ti nee between him and those dynamite fiends, with the O'Rogsa at their head, has been found out and is herein exposed. | wished to favor the Fenians. ‘enians wished to capture, d annihilate, whack, and otherwise ience the representatives of the I Good. Ircland’s natural enemy was left uncovered and unprotected. Then came “Ireland's opportunity.” ple chance to 4 rance of the ¢ sh army. Then in an skirmish- With a whoop and a bound they gathered for their great revenge. They pumped out the ram that laid over on the Jersey flats, and plugged its bottom with plug tobacco. ‘They drew on the “ skirmish- ing fund,” and bought a bushel of coal. ‘They set sail for Long Island Sound. At last there w a chance to break the tyrant’s back. Ha, ha! They landed, and a thousand strong started to march upon Creedmoor and its unprotected and unsuspecting guests. But fortunately for England's marksmen there arose a division of opinion among the Fenians. They were not satisfied with their leader. Some nine hundred and fifty of them trying to shake some- | +) he flops his handkerchief, but [don't ear for | FINISHING THE BRIDGE. objected to him, and resolved that they knew about than O'Donovan , dlto the matter, Ib was a genuine olf ment. It lasted until there were no invaders | left capable of bearing arms, and the Englis | marksmen were spared, even alth | never knew they were in daager. i} That ram has again settled out of sight, | and the expedition has happily been aban- doned, Governor Cornell is miserable because he sees no chance of his r | votes, and now we sts | nd happy. | mor wa m hioned Irish argu: gh they ving those expected rt up our pres serene ‘Tue editor of a new paper in Ohio will have to work twenty-seven hours a day in order to rm all the work he has laid out. Among r things, he proposes to stop the manufae- nd sale of rum, break down all monopo- about the repeal of lax divoree law: arbitration for war, promote uni- suppress political partisanship, n school system, and pital—all for one dol. funera 1 free of ch time to subscribe, and be that the editor ha he will accomplish probabilities are for seven dollars four-fifths of the defend lar 3 a year, now is the forth. It may ith in the belief th; all these reforms, but the the will hire an assistant k, and shove least on to his shoulders, THERE appears to have been some pretty lively skirmishing around the “ Skirmishing Fund,” for about sixty thousand out of ninety thousand dollars have vanished, and now for fear that the remainder of it will get them into trouble, the custodians are looking around r some honest man or society to take it off hands. And yet England don’t appear to have been lanced in any vital part. | Iv is said that bricks are now made of paper; but that is nothing very remarkable, We have heard of ‘ bricks” being made of several drinks of whisky. Tae Cincinnati Saturday Night comes to us in a new dress, and with contents as sparkling as ever. It was the brightest of our exchanges even before it appeared in its store clothes. comicbooks.com