Judge — September 9, 1882 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MEDAL ROON THE ONLY James Gordon Hennett receirin Inventors’ Corner. We have several letters on hand, which we give in this connection, and knowing that there must be many more inventors who wish for a medium through which they can reach the public, we have concluded to set apart a corner in which they can make their inven- tions and discoveries known to the world, and thereby not only call attention to their meri but be able to obtain such moneyed assi: ance as shall enable them to develop their in- ventions, secure letters patent, and make the fortunes that are now withheld by the hand of unrelenting fortune: ‘The first letter is from an impecunious in- ventor, who evidently has a fortune almost within his grasp. It speaks for itself. Drar Jepar:—How can I make known to capitalists the merits of a great Invention that I have all ready to patent? 1am a poor mechanic, and yet I might bea millionaire if { could only get my invention before the world. I havea working model of a macnine that is destined to revolutionize the fiddle-string business, and at the same tlme get rid of the surplus eats with which our back yards are Infested. Once set in motion in some eligible locality, the machine imitates the call of 4 cat 80 artistically that every feline within hearing will at once walk unsuspectingly into a trap, which in- stantly secares them, and while the persuasive invita- tion is still being sounded, the machine 1s at work upon the, one already caught, first skinning it in the most ‘skillful manner, and then going for its Intestines and Working them almost instantaneously Into Sddle and guitar-strings of various sizes. This simple description will enable an enterprising man of money to see what money there is in it. I have simply mentioned the matters of instrument strings and skins, but there are other profita, such as soap-fat, ete Now, what I want AMERICAN TURK. the order of **Oxmanti,” bestowed by the Sultan of Turkey. is moneyed assistance, to enable me to patent my Inven- Uon and start heavily into the manufacture of them. Respectfully, Aanox Newrox STILL ANOTHER, Dear Stn:—I have an invention that there is big money in, but I have not the means either to patent it or to manufacture them afterwards. If L can only get assistance I will give the investor one-half interest in the business, which will insure a fortane for us both in a short time. It is known that hens and other domestic fowl lay but one egg per d: though science has demonstrated the fact of their ability to lay two, Now, in brief, my invention consists of a mechanical nest with a stationary nest-e of pore in or some other beguiling material, and the first exg laid by the hen, goose, or duck, is artfully secreted the moment it is deposited, and the fowl not seeing it, and thinking it was a false alarm, or that she has not done her dut falls back at once upon her reserve, or to-morrow's and never utters. a cackle until she has laid it. This egg not being disturbed satisfies the bird's ambition, and she goes off cackling proudly, not knowing she has been fooled, leaving the nest for the next matron, the profit arising from my contrivance will of c be great, and I want some ene man with moi to come forward at once. The apparatus may be seen in active operation by applying at once to Jeruno Trorrens, Pickleville, L. 1. Now ree AT Last! To Tne Eprron or Tux Jepor, N. ¥.:—Sir, lam a poor, but brainy man. Ihave been at work for years trying to discover perpetual motion, and I have done itatlast, Yes, [have rebuked nature, and made her yield up her innermost secrets to me, But 1 want financial aid in bringing it before the world. Money and fame will attend the man who thus assists me. I have-a clock running by this newly-discovered motion, that has been going steadily for a week or ten days. Address Turriry Davevss, New York. SOMETHING VERY NEW. Dear Sin:—I have discovered a new mechanical behoind the bar an’ peddles te | who shud I see but that force that will surely down s Keely motor, cars from a, electricity, and the With a pint of coal 1 can run a train of York to San Francisco. One hundred ars will fully develop the discovery. I nce and ability, but lack money, 1 will confer with any responsible man or company, but stipulating that I must retain the secret of my in- vention inviolate, Address Epsox Wows, N.Y. Inflooence, Irish I aLLers hated thim little pukes what stands ts fer ther Tother day I thought I would go ter Bostun, an’ I sez to ther chap, “y ye yoong swindlin” blatherskite ye, it's adollur, ain't it?” “What's a dollur, ye blasted terrier? “4 hoonderd cints,” sez I. “Ye've got me, but I don't berlave ye have the hoonderd eints, hat I have, so jest lit ther wind out of yer floot an’ tell me how mooch ter Bostun. “It’s. a dollur ter go up on one soide, an’ three dollurs on the Vother.” “What's ther differince, Z1. “Two dollurs,” sez he, an’ I felt chape. “T don’t understand ye,” sez 1. “Will, it’s a dollur to go up on yer right hand soide, an’ three dollurs to go up on yer lift.” ev me a teckit ter go up on me Laci sez I, “L'il put ye on yer back, fer me. “Kape yer pipe-stems otf of me,” sez I. Wid that who shud come up but me frind, ‘Tim Flannigan, of the perlice force, the same what was made a sarjent fer arristin’ the three goats on the rocks, an’ a great frind of me own in the ould coontr. “What's the trouble, 1" sez he, “This blackguard,” sez I, ‘has insulted the laider of the Land League in Tipperary.” An’ wid that Tim sez, ‘I arrist you an’ all yer teckits,” mminced pocketin’ the kard re, ta is an’ go,” sez he, handin’ me wan. Will, I stayed ter Bostun two weeks,, wid me and Mikel Davit addrissin’ large crowds, Whin I coom down passin’ Blackwell's Island ame overly-smart youngster chippin’ a bit of a stone—the very me mug. “What's ther differince ?” yilled I. “Six moonth: illed he. “Hat ha! didn't I warn yea that I war a man of in-flooence?” I cried, an’ he wilted wanst again. railroads ur staimboats sez he, springing comniceLa. Dynamite Rossa says he only spent two thousand dollars for a ram to knock England’s navy out of sight. He couldn't buy much of ‘a billy goat for that sum of money, and prob- ably what he did buy was less effective than such a butter would be pitted against an iron- clad, Truth calls for an anti-Italian bill as strin- gent as that enacted against the Chinese, and Truth could easily get further out of the way and strike a more unpopular key. comicbooks.com