Judge — September 2, 1882 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. rowing detail aw that the lonesons A CONFESSION. ullic to say Lyielled; | sofa was making ds had the te that it Was just the re Women always are e al, and. in their pla ortedd wenial he though she afterws summer night trolled, yc wand fon the pebbly beach, | ellrontery to insinu yon's ver trary, Tndue a tiny gold locket, far wext dear, time the cout dle chairs disap: ppeared of antiquated, stittbacked chairs How 1 longed for th With your portrait, to w heart. an ax Tinentally vowed, th whate'er would, tat From that tre ae LE never would pv ood old times, ht well, Ry the My Twas young, andmy sont was consumed | could come home and throw myself in armchair, Alas! the mnfortable bulky take up all ye head was turned by your tender orbs and en life. “ul, When I enter sereams out: ‘* Don’t sit iu” Ta newly now is iD You paper chan, he hue of y bine « bt to the fat room Mrs that chair always stl added t Mrs. D, daily attends ‘auctions, and brings home Tzave not a thou And belt wre Uh 8 veiled store mninus a copper ! locket f tp sai twenty-tive cents will break ulus ium last night! upset some ntique * bargains When Mrs. D, tf rooms had the appearance of a flourishing | undertaker’ its dark-p 1 and heavy of light instead of gas or lam Dinwiddy’s Esthetic “Experience. et became wsthetie our DY DEMOCRITES DINWIDDY w Wilde with a frenzy, aud abbreviated You ask why L wildly wish for will tell thee. Mrs, Dinwiddy induced me to visit Oscar, sublime Osear! 1 jous to that I of such Goliath-like mental would have taken a with walls which ¢ the D. now Woenp that fourteenth century hideous obj prevented at room: were curtains from ente: Mr s candles, as they produce a * subdued ligh appearance of Mrs. De | her once tidy-fitting wrapper pantaloons! the unattainable? 1 uw silent: and ‘The rooms now present the Chinese curiosity shop. so dresses asthe was a Philistine cnitude that it dozen Davids to throw me, Mrs, Dinwiddy made the tirst | pt. Mrs 1 usthetic fr and was at once converted, and on the same day ¢ proselytizing. — Our happy home was turned into a store-house for At first it was but a few harm less and, sometimes, necessary Japanese fans, promisenously and prominently stuck about | the rooms, Mrs, D, suddenly discovered that the s needed repainting, although they had been painted immaculate white a short time previous; but Mrs. D. said they needed repainting. — Repainted they In her opinion white was uot awsthetic; she therefore had them coated with a fact it would 1 mi ie; +! (wsthetic tunic), of a color whieh “Pompeian To the uninitiated it 1 bric wall which has withstood the rays of the sun for twenty years, Whenever Mrs. D. sets out | todo anything she does it; there is no middle state for bh in place of > now wears a balloondike ba att », had sow she calls red.” sembles the color of ninene once brie-a-brac. it Consequently when she became thetic, she did so with all the intensity her soul could command, She by tried to convert me, but attirst si Rather than sit in the loon | ing to the ravings of her preferred to sit-in the kitchen, p friends, 1 But after Mrs. D. —1 no longer were, a few spent there, down unexpectedly one evenin visit the kitchen—she disel girl next day.” evening nt sad sea-green;” in ake one sad vo see green called | rged the hired ne, for, unless [ aimattlicted with | lor-blindaess, ypears to me to be afune- | ral black. Bat Mrs. D, said that Mrs, Ose: had her house painted that Oscaw should know what wasiwsthetic. (Mrs. Oseaw formerly kept a German boardi house; Mr. Oscaw was one of : he owned the lager-beer the boarding-house, But they consolidated, tirst commercially, then matrimouially, by such a na Mrs. D. made up her mind to convert me, | and Jef no stone unturned to accomplish: het | end. She vainly endeavored to pe to Wear knee-breeches; I refuse | ground that I-did not want to bet Then Oscar arrived, Mrs more enthusiastic in her demands. I showed her my e: color, and Mrs, ade me on the her boarders; | tur saloon under Ives, or atleast I showed her that portion of my anatomy calves should | be, had nature blessed me with such bul, orn Mrs She suggested fulse ¢ They ar now retired from business, and have enrolled themselves as wsthetes.) Pardon this slight digression; but to understand M D.’s thetic freaks it is necessary to know the cause thereof. After the house had been painted to her taste, Mrs. D. found out that the old- fashioned chairs were too modern, and bint ed that she was going to replace them with spinil ht-backed, oak-seated, Queen Anne chairs, [emphatically objected; T remained obdurate; she threat- ened to go home to her ma. 1 told her she might go home to her ma and be d—ewsthetic ‘That night Mrs. D, slept upon the sofa. next morning I ate my breakfast in a saloon. Mrs. D. remained pathetic, and nightly sought the seclusion which the parlor sofa granted, It is useless to dwell on these ha ging ments D, was not to be outdone, alves; L spurned the base She then brought ine to see Osear I be ansive mouth, 1 | proposal. | Wilde; her ruse succceded. ne con ned his ¢ longed for the unntte I sighed Knickerbocker days, and a pair of Since I have seen Ose: ple! ” my alves tr, Thave the wsthetic When I started | to indite my experience I was aesthetic ! seul, st pox in its most virulent form. she wept. s I went on, my former Philistinie feelings o'er- came me; but when I think of Oscar! Wild Thecome with too tooness. Tam so utteriy utter, that Tecan scarce utter my words with my usual utterance, My dear Philistine friends, become wsthetic ! Ifyou only knew the seraphic bliss of being Jonly food is aiily, The g | be turned into immense s | souls with but a single thought” what is more transeendentally foo than reeiprocal utterness? What can be more enervating than a picture of this now sordid planet. when asthetieistn supreme % When we shall adown our spinal column ! costume shall consist of velvet jackets and kr ! Which in time will be supplanted by the immaculate shall reign wear locks F Tn the beginning on breeches Imagine my Until then the icists shall not have been lily and suntlower, Adonisian form clad ina lily! gandy pinnacle of a No longer willthe Arguseved boarding man picree with erucl eyes when asked for more hash—did [say kash? 1 meant a lily; my uring streets shail uly groves k maidens, and pensive yo stroll undisturl two. Love: 5 With wl by stg. They her thirst stall salaries, can ions of “ice-cream for v simply ask for a sun-lower to st Vulgar oceupations will be gone; butehers and bakers will turn to sun-tlower cultiva’ ‘The simple daisy will supersede the mysterious hash. Codtish-balls will be a thing of the past. | Corned-beefand-ca will be mentioned with bated breath, will he ne cocktail’ sink into oblivion. 7! the fra: “morning nip “ded no more, fe and will on shall the daisy, the lily, and the sundlower reign supreme. ‘Tie Concord School of Philosophy has again Jjourned without explaining tne differ the Hereness of the " the ** Wherefore of the ing why the Heneity of the Henceforthness is betweer und wusne: or show | not identical with the Neverthelessness of the | Heretofore. On account of the extr weather, probably, nely hot Some one asks: chicken that N a ridiculous question! “Was uh took into the ark?” What hohad Ham, but erank Ham) the ark, it an egg or a as there were he had ro use It begins to look as though we wer have some fun in the autumn all, to ampagins after Ben Butler has entered the political yaagain, and that is sure to break the monotony which we feared was going like a pall over polit Bat horned bull been nominat of Massachusetts by the Greenbackers, and the enemy had better look out for their china shops. Welcome, Ben, welcome bac » hang the old short. 1 for Governor comicbooks.com