Judge — August 19, 1882 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. Bowery Pictures. Nor the prints and chromos which we see in the shop-windows, but the specimens of high art photography to be met with along that thoroughfare. The Bowery is the paradise of the cheap and undeveloped. It is the Mecca of the stage-struck of both sexes. An ambitious shop-girl has ideas of the stage, but her first move is to have her photograph taken in some character that will convince the East Side world that she is physically equal to her ambition. She delights herself and friends by showing herself at the door of some photographer's shop in a costume some- thing like this. She is sure of mashing her male acquaintances if she fails to impress a manager, and so she is happy as the artist is who shares the honors with her. She may get upon the stage, and may never rise above the dignity of a balletgirl or a “ village maiden,” but she ever afterwards regards herself as one of the profession. So also the stage-struck dry goods clerk or bar-jumper. He feels immortal longings within him to be a song-and-dance artist, and worries the life out of those who chance to ranche with him in imitating this or that great “star.” But before he can hope to be regarded as a ‘‘fakir ” even he has to have his picture taken to adorn the door-post of some ‘‘ artist's studio.” Naturally he does not look much like Mort Devine, but he shows his versa- tility and aptness for such parts by the arrangement of his toilet, as shown in the picture here given. Yes, they blossom on the Bowery, do nearly all of these ‘‘ professionals,” as well as thousands of others who wish simply to astonish their friends with sensational pic- tures of themselves, showing the possibilities of nature and art-on the East Side. It may not be very high art, or very high-toned, but it is certainly one phase of art life in Gotham, and as such we present it.” “* How deliciously fragrant the atmosphere | is. So redolent of wild flowers, so pungent with health-giving herbs. I could live on this rich country air forever,” said Miss Fitzjoy, in a moment of exuberance, as she stood in the back«loor of the farm-house the first morning after her arrival. ‘’Tis good and rich,” chimed in the old lady. ‘I've been trying to get Ebenezer to move tho pig-pen round to the south side of the house for more'n two years, but he’s just like all men, tremenjus slow.” Miss Fitzjoy wasn't well up on country fragrance. Cuvee pills are about the size of hulled walnuts. When the heathen purchases a box he always gets his money’s worth, but we should think that if he were to undertake to swallow more than four of these pills at ‘one time, his eyes would bulge out and his face grow black. A MARRIED man says that one of the hor- rors of house-cleaning is to be roused from a sound sleep at daylight by his wife beating the carpets in the back yard. We don't suppose it ever occurred to him that he might overcome this horror by beating the carpets himself the night before. “Have you,” asks a scientific writer, “watched the icicle as it formed ?—how it froze, one drop at a time, until it was a foot long or more 7” We are free to confess that we never have. It is generally as cold as Charles Francis Adams or Greenland when such exhibitions take place, and until some fellow brings an icicle into a room where there is a comfortable fire and lets it freeze, drop at a time, we shall not take much interest in the matter. Mr. Mursripee, a San Francisco photog- rapher, has discovered how to take a horse at full gallop. The discovery, however, is of no practical value to the Texan horse thief. He will continue to take the animal as he stands, Tne charge is made that nowadays every- thing has its counterfeit. Somehow or other no one has ever been able to counterfeit lim- burger cheese. A New York man advertised: ‘‘ Wanted— @ partner with some means and a taste for drawing.” The first applicant said his ‘‘means" consisted of two dollars and a half, and the branch of drawing in which he had the most experience was drawing hand- carts, He was not engaged. «Let's see. You go up to Saratoga this summer?” inquired an old swell of his chum. “Hardly. No, I go to the seaside. I have no business where the drinking of water is a fashionable pastime.” ‘Hah! Well, some folks are terribly prejudiced against an inside bath.” “Can Itake this child to the bath-room? He's very, very dirty. Why, he must have been rolling in a turnip orchard.” ‘‘ Water- ing trough’s "bout allthe bath-room we've got this year. Here, Jane, you! Take the brat and give him a sousing.” Looks of disgust, but it’s ‘in the country.” “You make a mistake, sir. You set too good a table altogether. Now, what's the use of cucumbers and huckleberry pie right along for a dozen meals?” ‘I know it, sir, I know it,” beamed the landlord. “I give ‘em all the luxuries to wunst.” ‘But, my dear sir, think of the cramps?” ‘‘Jess so, jess so. Bat I’m bound to get my guests into the bed- rooms, if I do cramp ‘em some.” “HALLO, bub!" shouted a dizzy swell to the brown-faced little urchin in the fishing punt. ‘Good fishing in this pond?” ‘* Purty good. Caught two suckers yesterday. Dollar an’ quarter apiece.” ‘‘Dear me. Do suckers come so high?” ‘ Depends on the quality. Suckers wot can't catch fish themselves buys ‘em o’ me. I'd fix you out for 99 cents. You've got that cut about you.” The dizzy swell tumbled to the racket. “You have a good saddle-horse and a side- saddle, I presume?” suggested the esthetic lady boarder. ‘‘I should so like to feel the exhilarating pulsations of a horseback ride these beautiful mornings.” ‘‘ Wall, we ain't very well fixed. Old Bets ain't much used to the saddle except when Ben rides her to plow between corn. I don’t think you'd like that, miss.” Question in natural history: As a leopard cannot help being ‘* spotted,” is it possible for him to conceal himself? Licut literature: Rejected articles. A SQUINTING actor, in a provincial town, was lately put up for “Lear.” We must succeed, argued the manager, for there never was a ‘‘ Lear” with so strong a cast. Ir has been urged in behalf of some of the statues in Central Park, that, bad as they are, they will eventually pave the way to some- thing better. For our own part we should glad to sce them “ paving” any way, for at present the stone of which they are construct- ed is completely wasted, comicbooks.com