Judge — August 12, 1882 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| | | | First Lieut.—Goodl gra Captain.—Oh, it must be on A Joyous Mountain Ride. BY GEORGE J, MANSON, “You must reserve all your strength for our mountain ride, id Mrs, MePhales, were sitting on the piazza one evening listen- ing to one of the young lady boarders who was executing a beautiful sonata, Op. II., in three sharps. It was at Hill Farm,” among the Catskills, where we were all stopping, as motley a group as I ever encountered in my life. “It seems to me, if my memory serves me right, that all the nations in the western part of Europe were represeated. It was the most cosmopolitan boarding-house in the re- gion ; indeed, so much so that some people used to call it ‘Castle Garden.” ‘And that would have been a much more ap- priate name than “Hillside Farm,” for it wasn't a farm, and it wasn't situated on a hill. On the contrary, it was a big, bare, white building, located in the valley ‘The advertisement held out great hopes yment, but contained only one trut stated that the house commanded a fine view of the mountains, and that really the fact; you could see them looming up grandly, fifteen miles away. Iwas about to ask Mrs. MePhales why I should rv ve my strength for the auspicious sion alluded to, when she suddenly Ned into the parlor to sing a duet with Col- knuckle: ‘* When I shelled peas with Mary "—a ballad of the heart. But I reserved my strength, and took a wild kind of pride in doing nothing for days, refraining, too, from speaking on the subject to Mrs. McPhales, and waiting with secret THE JUDGE. ! whats that noise ? of those horrid guns pleasure for the time to come when her re- mark should be explained. Finally, the “party” was ma mntain rides are in “parties,” We had lerable difficulty, arising principally from the cosmopolitan character of our little le up, for all band. Mrs, MePhales, who was of the Celtic persuasion, had a trifling altercation with our German boarder, Mr. Hochein course of which she called hin ‘ta mean Datch thing ;” he decided not to go. The Scotch lady thought the cost too much, a head, and she refused to join. ‘The Vander- bilt sisters had not received their remittance from their father, but they wanted to go. One soft summer night, when the moon was tipping with silver spra in the distane rivulet was heard soft and swect on the mid- night air, [ returning home with one of the Vanderbilts from ntly clinging to my arm, 1s if for protec. | tion—though I found in a moment it was something else—she said: “Oh, major, you can let us go on the moun- tain ride, if you will lend us $4.50,” I never could resist a thirty-six shilling ap- peal, and so consented. There were sixteen in the party—an open wagon with four seats, four on 4 There were only two other gentlemen besides my: —Colonel Peaknuckle, a large, fat m: sirous of reducing his weight, and Charley sons, a drug clerk, very thin, who anxious to get fat, The girls didn’t seem to like the drug clerk much, except as an ice-creameaterer. When | he “treated” they were very agreeabl among themselves they used to call him ‘an awful dose.” ance. n, de- er, in the | the mountains | and the music of a gentle | We were going to have other gentlemen— members of the ‘“ Feeble-minded Bicycle Club,” but they received letters from their mas to return to the city. . Oh, but we were a merry party. The ladies were all dressed cither in white or color- ed cambric, and looked charming. M MePhales full of jokes and repartee, and | Colonel Peaknuckle was full of something stronger. The drug clerk brought a big can | of ice-cream, and the girls all set up a | of “so good, so kind.” This w | the rear of the wagon. Besides, we had a | big “hamper” of lunch from the ‘Hillside Farm "—no one knew exactly what was in it, | noone wanted to ; we wanted to be surpri: | when we opened it. | We had not traveled a mile before Colonel Peaknuckle became quite ill, He said it | must have been the cucumbers, but we were | all silent, He determined to get off, and be- ing, as we saw, already ‘a little off,” we let him, This was somewhat of adamper, for he was a good singer. chorus s placed in Suddenly we heard a crash. ivery one looked around; the ice-cream had f n out behind. ‘The fastenings of the end board had given way, and the coolest part of our re- freshment had tumbled out in the dusty road. When we began to ascend the mountain the driver said it was alwa; out and ease the hor got out, of course quickly followed. custon When those that remained At first we said it climbing, and we a parcel of hapy was.“ sport "—this an merrily up the hill like ts that see a richly > in the distance, and walked Then we got tire The empty wagon was distance, and the horse: glance the one to the other, per “soft thing on the quadruped.” The drug clerk finally fainted; he had been complaining for some time. We left him at ‘m-house on the roadside, Two of the Vanderbilt sisters were fast sinking from fatigue. and all of the other la- dies, but two, were faintly vociferating that they couldn't stand it much longer. No one gested getting in the zon; we were all too proud to do that. Besides, our earnest pedestrian efforts had left it miles behind. slower. ‘The ladies took turns in securing my assist- ance. Ah! how different did they lean upon Coming from the balls and parties ed like fairies, so gentle was their ‘ow, they were like huge lumps of lead, hanging on, with might and main, for touch, The Vanderbilt sisters were finally dropped | at a wayside inn, finding temporary strength and consolation in sherry cobblers. If} Two fearfully stout women, whom I only contracted to help singly, fainted after we had made a little “spurt” to get at a certain point in the road. We revived them as best we could with water. We were, of course, all puffing and blowing at such a rate that we could hardly speak, and our hearts were thumping away like | sledge-hammers When we arrived at the top of the moun- cn it a a comicbooks.com