Judge — August 12, 1882 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE KNICKERBOCKER YACHTSMAN. Wues prosperous breezes blow athwart the Sound The sunburnt yachtsman spreads his snowy sail, And as his anchor slowly breaks its ground His boat pays off before the summer gale. Now takes he drinks of the Innocuous beer, Whose gurg has been withdrawn , more grateful to 0 the dawn, No Premier Gladstone, with his ship of State, No Admiral Seymour, with his armoret tleet, his shoulders Than does your ya ft a glance, with youthful wisdom fra He throws on mast and gail and leech; Names points superior about his yacht, And pazzles you with his seafaring speech. and tacks, and brings his craft about; He yaws and luffs, and pnts his tiller down, Hans in th rther ont, Rolls up his sloeves to let his arms grow brov pet of lets it Me yachts and yachts, acquirin And To sails his health and tan, es even more. SOWGE K. MACDONALD, Be Accommodating. Taere is nothing like being accommodat- ing. Always accommodate your friend and neighbor, it makes no difference how much it may cost you. If your friend asks you to drink, drink ; yes, a dozen times, although you know it will make you drunk, and end in the lock-up. But if you live in the country and are going to the city, you will have some rare oppor: tunities for being accommodating. I live in the country, and have recently had some ex- perience in accommodating friends and neigh- bors. Iwas going to pay New York City a visit. Some fiend found it out and told the editor of the village newspaper. It came out in the Daily Graphic. Instantly I was sought afer by all my friends, and people whom I had never before dreamed were such near and dear friends. Old Mrs, Jones wanted me to go toan opti- cian on Broadway, and gave me his card, cut out of a newspaper, to get her a new pair of glasses. Mr. Black informed me that the next day after I should arrive in the city his son would sail for Europe ; I must go to the dock and shake hands with him before he went off. Mrs. Gatewood’s daughter wanted me to go to the store of A. T. Stewart and purchase hera new brocaded silk, She gave me the money to pay for it, and said if there was any left to go to a jewelry store and get her a new pair of bracelets. Mr. Stowe (a legal gentleman) asked me to go to all the second-hand law-book stores in the city and see what a set of Massachusetts reports would “come at.” Mr. Dogge, our merchant, wanted me to be sure and call at the Astor House and get his umbrella, which he left there the year be- fore. Mrs, Quintal wanted me to call on an an old German lady acquaintance who had a fruit stand on the corner of Fifty-ninth street. Every friend I had desired me to do some little crrand for them. I agreed, as THE JUDGE. Thad only two weeks to stay in New York City, and my business would keep me pretty busy during that time, but I could certainly spare a few moments to run about over about seventy iniles of city for my friends, I ar- rived in the city, and spent the second day in waiting at the dock for my friend's son, who did not come until the last moment, But I shook hands with him like an accommodatin man should. The next day I went to the Astor House for the merchant's umbrella, At last the porter found one, and said it had been there for some months. I spent half an hour the next day, engaged in my own business, and three days in visiting the various second-hand book-stores toget the price of law books for my friend. But, like an accommodating man, I got the list. Half the next day was consumed in purchasing the brocaded silk for the young lady friend. She afterwards scored me for being so swindled, for I knew nothing about silks, not being a dry goods merchant. ‘The two weeks were nearly up. devoted a day and a half to my own business, but there were two days yet, when I remem- bered the old fruit woman on Fifty-ninth street. I must findherby all means. It took a day and a halfto find her, but I did. Of course I could not complete my own business, but I had accommodated my friends. It costs about seven dollars a day to live in New York, not including cigars, beer, and street car fare. I had spent two weeks here doing nothing for myself, but accommodated my friends. They might not thank me, but I had T had just | ON GUARD FoR TI “What der yer go home and return a month or two later to attend to my own business. Be accommodat- ing. BENJAMIN BROADATE. A Pow . argument against cleanliness is in the fact that not a single tramp has died from the heat during the late baking. a lowin Ir is nothing to have heard. Ir we could only house some of this weather, for use about the first of next year, it might modify the ups and downs of the thermometer and occasion less talk about the cold, We imagine that the average Canuck feels somewhat snubbed at the reply of the Earl of Kimberly to their petition for England to let upon Ireland, ‘The language of the reply is certainly courteous and diplomatic, but it means ‘mind your own business,” all the same, 3 “knocked out” by a police court justice in Boston the other day, when he fined him ten dollars and costs for swearin He may te the champion ofthe United States, but he can’t use cuss words in Bosting. TR have the largest land slides in Georgia of anywhere. Whole tracks have been known to ‘‘slide” from one owner to an- other without the knowledge of the party of the first part. But Southern enterprise must be upheld. Ix Nevada bear-baiting is good sport if every accommodating man shonld. bravely done my duty, so I was compelled to | you have enough bait. comicbooks.com