Judge — August 5, 1882 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE JUDGE. OUR POPULAR FARCES. | OUR EXCURSION BOATS. | REPORTED BY “ED” CHARACTERS: Proreictor ov Savety Steammoat Ca. Carraiy on | Savery Sreammoar Co. SCENE | Offices of the Safety Steamboat Co. Tune, Nine A. M. Vrornirtor discoreret in an easy chair, intlefation- ty doing nothing. Enter Cartats, | Jay, Me. — | slay, captain, Rather warn ss we'll b good crowd | down to-day. | Proprietor.—By the way, | heard you had a collision | sterda Captain. Proprictor.—Goo Captain. Nery. Gu Captain.—Who said so It was in the papers. Wonder how they hold of it. Captain. mes of giving them blasted reporters | few passes. , VU tell you just what did happen day | Proprietor Captain. —First place, when we swang out of Twen ty-thind street, Billy McGinnis, who was up in the pilot- house, saw a girl that be kuew upon the deck, and waved his handkerchief at her. Of course he had of the wheel while he was waving, and our boat ato the floating bath, next pier. Knocked the old ler-box all to pieces. Serve them just right, too, for folks haven't <3 to put a bath along the river front when they can get good, pare sea-bathin:: bu down at the Island by taking our lin Proprietor.—That’s 80. Guess 11 sue the bath for damages, Captain. 1 would. Well, we backed out of the Ked into a row-boat with four men in it; turn the craft over as clean as a whistle, Saved three them; as for the fourth swim a stroke. What busit SUGGESTIONS FOR A SEASIDE ENTERPRISE. To be taken on the sya and it e Seagull will be. he weat under, Couldn't | proprietor people who can't swita | T don't see. w int ytexd upon this 1 h he guantly).—And yet it is over Just knocked a bole inthe bow; but | ¥ery trip that the press complains | The idea! we nalled w couple of planks some of the published accounts w will work along for a week without filling. | think that it was absolutely dangerous to travel by ot & pretty good load of passengers at the pier, | line. But TU fix them, Blamed if T don’t withe eamed away. Ol the Battery the pilot hun. | every—yes—every advertisment from the papers! ry, and went down to get a bite, He left pine | Ceverats.) yup in the wheel-honse. The cal; enough, but he hasn't a good eye for distances. He | ‘THE report that the Boston © tried to cut off a ta nd slide between a stean chit Wl a ferry-be ved if he didn't bit all three. Never saw such a surprised boy in your life » Proprieto i dnmmace Ueaet Square was premature. ybody killed or drowned a <a ? Captain. —No, not much, Sank the tug, and hurt a 7 Rees oy Wedoubt the ferry-boat a little; a for the gave her a little bump tekets for | up in shoal water, and all of our passengers w a1.” asho Was our boat m Captain. — have got going row Propr Or 1 either. Captain, —We then went along all right till we were off Christopher street, when the Breakneck came | along. We blew one whistle, and she blew a whistle, | then she blew two whistles, and so did we. Then I saw collision waz inevitable, #o Ic Hit her amidships, Johnny; we tight as well rand save ourselves.” So Jonny did so. We her like a knife, parted her just the breach, al 1 | body ton tor. oy means well | led up to tl ! went right throug + could Captain.—Bless you, Tdon't know, We wasn't hurt | so we kept right on. Somebody said on board that tof the Breakneck’s passengers were skirmishing | °° : aroun in the water, but I guess they all got picked up. | /'e2nrietor % faked U We nest went to pler 2. There was that Dlained oki | , Crain Ves. had to use seve tub of a Seagull tied to the dock, and her captain, | |) tng a ewe a ie Baldy Gowanus, stood on the top-dleck grinning at us, | ‘re? days’ pay—he gets eight dollars a You know the Seagull ? Proprietor.—Good. Proprietor (warmly).—Yes. Belobgs to the oppo- | acquainted with your sition line, which actually has the nerve to carry pas- | Captain.—Y sengers for five cents a head less than It Could not help it, for the Lukewater s Ane Captain.—Baldy yelled at Sot yer this ti She's commanded by Billy MeGue; knows about as | CXhibition? Mr. Donovan would underst sald be; “lets see yer land How long yer going | much about running a boat as he does of buttery how to care for them in a brothe: y therey” asked [, * Allday,” be replied. cate! ‘but he thinks he can give points to the whole Ww i ted by the aky sight,” [said “You get out of that in | harbor. Next t minutes.” school picnic aboant, Il collide with him sure as fate, What did he say? and take a little of the starch out of his shirt. Captain. —Told wwe ICL wanted a dock to go buy one. | Proprietor. —Did “All right,” saya I. You get away from there in team-yacht, we only | abin-be this port, returned to them, sures, you | — th, I will take care that the press is tion, Anything else occur ? wer | chit . we ran down 1” ly way. a water famine is imminent, Will Mr. ‘Tho Proprietor. get off of the island all right ? | captatn.—On, yes. Waited til high tide came, and | SHOuting, and permit the citizens to qui deck-hands, “go around and tell the passengers to put | pleasure pos on life-preservers, and that there ita Bible upon the | could see it. Somehow we steamed too close, and We tations souble ite age hae center-table in the cabin;” and then [ordered the engi- | hit it. It is all under water now. years transacted a larger new neer to pat on all the steam he could, Did the Seayw/ Proprietor.—Ob, and that was all of te accidents of other cor ny. 1th leave the dock? Did she? Well, the last we saw of ber | the trip? account of its almplicity and Hberal terms, bh the was floating down the river in periods, with oll | Captain.—Yos, that was—no, it wasn't all. When | “ith universal favor, Baldy Gowanus adrift on the flag-staff. We done the | we landed at the pier, wemade a slight miscalculation, Coe ete eatery cand for the ai clal statement of ny right thing, thongh, The mate bawled ont toallof the | and carried away about halfof it. Yet werun the boat , of the Tontine Savings Fund form of policy. teamed np near to it #0 that they try, or indeed In It has houts of C re Teatch bim wath aypod big Sunday- | missioner Hubert O, Thompson's minions that aded that Any- 1 our draw mmon is to be put in such a condition that it may e re favorably with New York's Tompkins ‘om much that the people of Ohio are anxious to have Appraiser Howard, of Fined him | Now that Michael Donovan, the pugilist, is of the police force at the new iron pier | at Coney Island, why not send Mr. John L. Sullivan, of Boston, and Mr, ‘Tug Wilson, of England, to the pier for their next: sparring and ‘om: mp | son's minions be kind enough to stop their tly } just five minutes or Pl knock your old burial casket | floated off. We, after that, proceeded down the bay | Xperience the alleged prospective in famine? i} way up in the City Hall Park.” He only grinned. That | till we came across a wreck, which was balf out o es was more than I could stand. ** Boys,” said 1 to the | water. Desirous of affording our passengers all of the rance Society of the United pany in the coun- ues @ form of polley which, on dite description comicbooks.com