Judge — July 29, 1882 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

(SUMMER TRAVEL er Carpe y (For three months.) A Fellow Sufferer. Poor old Pharaoh, how he has been tra- duced by the gospel sharps of ancient and modern times, Who can contemplate our latest arrivals from Russia and blame him or any one else for not hankering after the “chosen people?” and who can fail to ad- mire the genius of a monarch who was able to extract honest, useful labor from such un- promising 1? That Pharaoh was a kind man naturally, is amply proven by the fact that his t had to be hardened before he would ret: on the children of Israel for their innume ble rasealit One would have thought that the presence in his coun race with such a talent for getting up plagues of various nasty kinds, and who bred vermin to the extent mentioned in Exodus viii., 16, would have been sufficient in itself to get the old man’ up. Bat no, Such was the long-suffering sweetness of nature that a miracle was required to ake him lose his temper. What if he did issue general order No. 9,000,999, to the ct that the first born of Isract had better be removed? Can any just and reasonable man who has ever taken a walk through De- lancy street on a Hebrew holiday blame him | for it? Should we not rather regard his ac- tion in the matter as showing a wise fore- thought and a kindly consideration for the best interests of his people? Surely his good | judgment was shown by the way the one first born of Israel who pared turned out in the end. Did not this same Moses whom Pharaoh's daughter, with exaggerated humanity, fished out of the water, go back on the father of the irl that saved his life, and put up all sorts of mean jobs on him? Did he not get his gang to go round among the unsuspecting Egyp- tians and borrow their water-coolers and spoons and cake-baskets, and then decamp with the valuables? Ani yet there are people unjust enough to blame Pharaoh for heading the vigilance committee that started out in pursuit of the defaulting Isractites and their lost silver-ware, and who think that he deserved to be drowned in the Red Sea for it. All this talk about the wickedness of Pharaoh strikes worst kind of n nse, As far as Tecan make out, the raseality was all on the other side, and I am sure I pity him for all he must have sen pawn-brokers and I have no doubt that the ancient histories published in the year MMM. will contain some reference toa “wicked republic” that flourished in the nineteenth century, and which was wiped out of existence by the nging wrath of Heaven for not taking kindly to the dirt, rascality, idleness and ver- min of the chosen people who came to it fi out of the land of Roo Sha. oronae KYLE me as the | A Mysterious Missive. It came in the regular way with dozens of other letters, but the whole shect of paper contained only four words, and they arranged trangely that it at once aroused curiosity as to what they signified. They were on four lines, one below the other, in this way: hat, Loot, chat, scoot. Of course, the strange communication | passed around, and opinions expressed what the four words meant, that it was simply the remains of a badly broken-up poct, and it did seem a trifle like that, since the words somehow rhymed. Our large-brained, mathematical editor would have it a simple proposition from clid, and offered to bet a million doll: toa punched nickel that he could work it out if he only had time enoug But the editor felt sure that his offer was only a little contrived plan on hi a month's vacation, and so his of Y eclined. Then our comic poet tod “The thing is plain enough," isa skeleton comic poem. For instance, let me fill it up,” and with four turns of his Pegasian crank, he worked out the following: you meet a lady lift your hat, $ you see her daddy's boot Coming that way, then avoid a chat, And Just incontinently scoot, “There's about as much rhyme as reason in that solution,” suggested our «sthetical poet, who has nothing in his make-up but sentiment. “Why could it not be rendered in this way, and thus make a respectable "and he immediately got into a tirst- class poetic frenzy. izing his pen he wrote as follows : See beaut! And What ec Whi ace beneath the plumed at, » within that dainty boot, y with her to a chat, you can make all lesser rivals scoot, A shout of derision rewarded him, and he got so mad that he went and paid for a t to quench his resentment. ly “Ed” run the four words through his poetry mill, and made this of them : Ah! see that old St. Patrick hat, That led boot, And Shillelabs mal That young comic genius got six months for cutting up such rythmthiec didoes in our court, but this so frightened the others that no more attempts were made to solve the riddle. It is barely possible that those three staff geniu are right, and that some other and unknown genius started to write a poem for Tue Jupce and forgot to Mllit out. Wi heard of poets who wrote verses in this and this may, indeed, be one of them, if such was the original intention, the reader has the benefit of three several geniuses, cach more or less inspired, in working the matter out, paying their money and taking their choiee, have But, tae righ talians and Ri last. They hai ssian Jews have hit it joined the strikers, | and are being supported by them in idlenc which, of course, they prefer to handling freight at seventeen cents an hour. comicbooks.com