Judge — July 15, 1882 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AMERICAN EUR HECTOR SAN FRANCS OPINION OF THEM. IDIOMS. Lue ze life Am Ze langue ect But, ah! ze eedioms, bega T cannot onderstood ozer day on rue Broadway I met une demoiselle, And as T did one bow perform My foot sleep and I fell. Une fall, Und ven once more I stand, He say, “Hey, bosz, Took vithin my band; My gloves were there all stain vith mud Ze yargon was mistake, But veo I tell bim s0, morbleu! He one great laugh does It gargon saw drop som 2k me eof my mother knows Zat Lam out zees day And ven enrage L make reply Ze garcon smile and say Zat | some green haf een mine And zen how queer and stra He me co nds to wipe my chin, And my And ven [zen some swears do make Ze gargon does not fear, But says my spine ez elev And zat [clin mine ear Ab, oui, ze life Americaine, I think it moeh But zen, alas! goo, eedioms: 1 cannot understood! - REN 2¥N0 This Weather. this hot enough for you?" is a question that is probably asked oftener about this time than any other. You are bored with it on every side, and even the shades and breezes of Coney Island do not protect you. Indeed, it may be doubted whet the blasts from “Greenland’s icy mountains” Now to people naturally irritable when the thermometer is trying to climb a liberty-pole, this continual asking of such a question, when their perspiring persons and limp linen might | convince even a Salamander that it was eve! hotter than he like the worryi would do so, anted it, becomes a trifle ng of a short-horned bull in fly time. Old Starcher, the lard man, is one of the most amiable men in the world with a reason- able thermometer, and even with a vicious one he is well enou which his office grants; but nothing in the world makes him madder than for a pei ask him if “this weather” is hot enou him? In fact, he becomes a roaring lion under such conditions, and might possibly fight his grandmother or mother-in-law if he 1 one. A striking instance of whether this weather was hot cnough for him occurred one day this week, one of those days whena skeleton would perspire. Itseemed that in the course of busi- ness everybody with whom he came in con- tact made it a special point, as he thou provoke him, but in reality to be simply civil and sympathetic, to ask him if enough to suit him. Starcher grew hotter and redder with each h if left alone in the coolness | | metri such inquiry. He threw aside everything but REHEARSING WITH A DUMMY. Mr crwel fate! —oh, cruel sight t her softly to her perfumed chamber, (Slow music.) the rudiments of dress, and mopped his persistently, Indeed, he felt that he should deliberately murder the next man who asked him about how the weather suited him or if it was hot cnough, But his troubles were not atan end any more than the heat was, Presently Jobson cat aCe 2 in on business, and asked, as he mopped his face: “Good weather for trying lard, eh, Starcher?” but as this possessed some slight originality, he away alive and uncontra- dicted, Then a li ame in and swore he broiled an e; sidewalk in front of his store a few moments before, and although this really increased his temperature, it was not the old stereotype question, and Starcher con- cluded to give the man time to repent. But there appeared to be more than one thermo- al liar abroad, for not long afterwards Dinkle came in and assured him upon the honor of a merchant, that his thermometer had exploded simply because the tube was not long enough to give the mercury the chance it needed for expansion, But Stareher was waiting for somebody to ask him if this was hot cnough for him,” and presently he came, in the person of the postman, and he was so mad that it sent his allowed him to go | bodily heat up five or six degrees, bee: he couldn't kill him without obstructing the United States M The next one gave him a fair chance; asked him right out and out if the weather was hot enough to suit him, Montague Lester—Is this Elfrida's wasted form I se Those dumb, pale lips, tho: Teannot dicell upon the sight wrapped in the cold arms of death? 0h 2 rayless eyes, which scarce an hour past shone Gentlemen, U pray thee, bear t, don't [look hot enough to. suit a crowbar and “You confounded idi though the weather w me?” roared Stareher, sc rushing towards him. as ‘That caller instantly ma it was too hot there for him, and he lit wildly out, But he felt revenge kicking in his heart, and so he went for the n told him that the heat wild; that he had assaulted him, and thereupon. demanded his arrest. ° up bis mind that arest policeman and 1 driven Stareher ‘The policeman did not feel like making any very rapid movements, but as it. was on the shady side of the street, he assured the com- plainant that he would go down to Starcher’s store and sce what the matter was with him. If he was a raving maniac, he would of course arrest him; if not, he would have to get out a warrant for him, as he did not witness leged assault. So the officer sauntered down to factory, and made his way into the room, where he found him mopping his red mug and puffing like a grampus. “Ah, Mr. Starcher, how are you to-day?” but he did not deign to answer; he was too indignant, so the officer thought he would be good-naturedly familiar, ‘Is this weather hot enough to suit you?" Starcher leaped to his feet. He did indeed look like a madman, and he was. The offlcer drew his club and assumed an attitude of defense. For a moment neither of them comicbooks.com